doug smith training

A clumsy truth is more noble than an eloquent lie. The lie is so tempting. It feels like it preserves our ego. Instead, it delays the bruise that's bound to appear. Clumsy truths unnerve me sometimes. As Brene' Brown might say, we just need to risk being vulnerable in order to make the better choice, to disclose our truth. Awkward, sure. Embarrassing, maybe. But let's go with the truth first. It's a vital step toward going with the truth always. -- doug smith

Do you know anyone who has every bit of the absolute truth? Nothing can ever convince that type of person that they could be wrong. It could be because they know for sure that part of it IS true.  But do they really? I'm not saying that all truth is relative (although certainly SOME is...) But, unless we keep an open mind and stay curious, how will we ever know, how will we ever grow? Tell me the truth, just don't pretend you know all of it. -- doug smith  

When people suspect you of lying you've got some truth to tell. Where's the doubt? Where's the suspicion? Where's the pattern of distrust emerging? Not everyone can even hear the truth, but we have a leadership option to tell it. And, maybe even more importantly, we have the need and responsibility to explore our truth before proclaiming it. What if we're wrong? What if our "truth" is incomplete? What if the delivery of our "truth" smells like lies? When people suspect you of lying -- it's worth checking to see if they could be right. -- doug smith

Stay healthy, stay happy, stay honest. At least one is all up to you. We all prefer good health. With good health comes many blessings. Every day I am humbly grateful for my good health.  Happiness? That can be a moving target sometimes. Just when you think you've got a formula figured out, the rules change. But, we can influence our own happiness and yes, maybe even control it. Even when our circumstances are less than ideal, our attitude can determine our level of happiness. And that brings me to the third thing on this list: honesty. That one is completely up to you. We each determine how honest we will be. To quibble a bit, it may not be a matter of "how honest" anyone is: you and I are either honest, or not. There isn't really a middle ground. You can't be a "little bit honest." But we're not perfect. We have to work at it all -- even being honest because every day there is some new temptation to twist the truth, hide the facts, or stay silent w

We could argue absolute truth all day, all week, all year. Let's not. What if there is some element of doubt? What if there are undiscovered truths underneath the surface? We could take the time to experiment and learn along the way. We could conduct dialogues that explore rather than expose, that interrogate rather than interrupt. We could probe instead of poke.  The trouble with absolutes is that if you're wrong you are absolutely wrong. Let's stay curious instead. -- doug smith

High performance leaders tell the truth. Since that can sometimes be hard, we are often tempted to stretch the truth (in other words, to lie.) While lies can fool people for a while, the truth will inevitably emerge. How will you feel when it does? Telling a lie only proves that you haven't thought of a better answer.  You do have a better answer: the truth. The truth will prevail. Tell the truth. -- doug smith

Lies lead to lies and there lies the problem. Clarity is the solution. We tolerate, we generate, too many darn lies. What are we afraid of with truth? Why do we try to deceive one another? Lies, lies, lies. A lie opens the door to air the truth, if we can spot the lie. We can always spot the lie. It's not like they are so hard to find. Besides being everywhere, they are usually painfully obvious. Let's lean  on the truth instead. The cold, hard, honest truth. If the truth isn't kind, there is more truth to find. Keep looking. Keep telling the truth. -- doug smith

What makes it so hard sometimes to tell the truth? Maybe because people will react, and then we have to be ready for that reaction. But if the reaction you want is trust, understanding, and belief, then keep on telling the truth. Before you give your honest answer, make sure it IS your honest answer. Someone might believe you. -- doug smith

My goal is to tell the truth. All of the time. That's more difficult than you might expect, given our daily temptations to tell little lies of convenience -- especially when we consider that NOT telling something a truth they are entitled to hear is a kind of lie of omission. No one is perfect, but with a little work and a clear intention, we certainly CAN tell the truth. It's a habit worth developing. Once you get into that habit, of telling the truth all of the time, you may find yourself insisting on hearing only the truth from others. That's even more difficult. Some people lie so much that they don't even realize it. Some people lie so much that they come to believe their own lies. What do you do with that? All we can do is to start by telling the truth. All the truth we know. We may later learn that we didn't even know all of the truth, or that someone else's view of a situation is different from ours (and just as true.) Still, let's start with

We all tell lies. In my workshops I often ask the question "Who do we lie to the most?" and the answer follows quickly as "ourselves." We lie the most to ourselves. Weird, isn't it? How can we even fool ourselves? But someone we do. It's so easy to lie to ourselves that we usually don't realize that we're lying. Take a moment. Breathe. Give yourself the truth test once in a while (say, every day!) You CAN handle the truth. -- doug smith

Who do we lie to the most? Ourselves. We talk ourselves out of things we want to do (or don't want to do...) We lie about our abilities, our authority, our status. Maybe we lie because it is safer than taking a risk. Maybe we lie because the truth is so harsh. Who are we fooling? When we fool ourselves, you know what that makes us. I might not be able to eliminate lies, but I do not have to believe them. And...whenever I lie to myself I try to laugh a little and move on. How about you? -- doug smith

Who knows everything? I don't know everything, do you? No one knows everything. Now, before we break out into song, maybe the best thing I can offer on this incomplete version of the truth is this: No one can tell you your truth, AND your truth alone is incomplete. It's true for me, it's true for you.  Or, is it? If you allow your truth to grow, to change, to evolve, it will stop getting in your way and instead will open up more possibilities. And possibilities are the super fuel of success. -- doug smith

I often ask the question "who do we lie to the most?" and the answer is nearly universal: ourselves. We lie the most to ourselves. What a disservice. What an encumbrance. What a waste. Tell the truth, and start with yourself, Once we can tell the truth to ourselves it's easier to tell it to others. I'm going to work on that. How about you? -- doug smith

Do you ever lie to yourself? Most of us do. Of all the lies we tell, we lie to ourselves the most. And for what? Toward what aim? Lying to ourselves is fruitless. Lying to ourselves is damaging. Lying to ourselves is no way to achieve our goals or to communicate effectively. Your truth will matter more to others when it matters more to yourself. Tell yourself the truth. -- doug smith

When was the last time that you were lied to? Maybe you know, and maybe you don't. It could depend on the lie. The person who lied to you could be so good at lying that you still don't know. Or, maybe they didn't even consider it to be a lie -- but it is. Lies cause hardship and heartbreak. Lies damage relationships and distort results. And yet, we all lie. Maybe because we don't realize the extent of the harm that lies cause. Destroyed trust, broken promises, unfair distribution of limited resources, lost opportunities... If we knew -- really knew -- how harmful lies really are we might stop telling them. You could stop today. I could stop today. Let's stop. -- doug smith Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.  -- Don Miguel Ruiz "Lying to ourselves is more dee