doug smith training

Have you ever caught someone simply "going through the motions" in communicating with you? They say the right words, their motions seems fine, they just aren't fully engaged in what's going on. They appear to listen, but it feels like their mind is somewhere else. So many of us go through the motions. We read our mobile phones when we're with loved ones we seldom see. We keep an eye on the television while our significant others tells us something important (hint - when it comes from your significant other it's all important), we phone it in. It's one of my biggest faults and it has recently come back to haunt me as I experienced that level of inattentive attention returned. It doesn't look mean, it doesn't look premeditated, and yet it hurts at a level that sinks gradually deeper until it can't be excised. The other day I was riding my bike and I came upon a man playing with his dog. At first it looked really charming. The dog was ve

Are there conversations that scare you? It's easy to quote Eleanor Roosevelt and say "face into your fears" but the reality is that there are some conversations that freeze us. Some discussions that put us off, so we put them off. I know that I have missed some vital conversational opportunities. I expect that to change. If we want better conversations, we need to initiate them when the opportunity emerges (not when we feel like it, right then and there). Let's keep the conversation going. Let's talk when we need to talk. Let's build our relationships, our teams, and our organizations using much more effective communication. It takes hard work, it takes courage, but as I have recently discovered in many startling ways, how you communicate is who you are. Who you are to yourself, who you are to other people, the who of you that you create. It's big. It's scary. It's critically important. I'm willing to work through the fear of a tough conv

Do you have regrets? I have some interpersonal regrets that are so raw, so fresh, and so painful that they can immobilize me. I know that things will improve, that I will get beyond these changes, but they beg for examination and learning. Even when we know what we're doing, there's no guarantee that we will do what we know is best. The clearest example is in our conversations. So much is left unsaid. So much is caged and framed in quasi-positive screens in hopes of avoiding confrontation or discomfort. But we need that confrontation. We need to work through that discomfort. Whenever I have, my life has dramatically improved. When ever I have failed to speak both my heart and my mind, my truth at that moment, the result has lingered, faltered, and hurt. As Susan Scott might say, "We're bigger than that." I learned much from reading Susan Scott's books, especially Fierce Conversations, and from seeing her speak. I was even lucky enough to meet her bri

How curious are you? Problems bother us. They get in the way. They ruin our day. They create havoc where we'd rather have peace. Why do they do that? When we can stay curious about our problems it helps us to generate more meaningful, more powerful, and more sustainable solutions. Where did that problem come from? Why does it stick around? What benefits might it be generating to someone else? Is it really a problem or are we locked into a conflict or competition? Who else is feeling what we're feeling? Why? Why? Why? (useful to ask about a problem - but be careful when it comes to asking "why" about or from a person. That can trigger defensiveness in a hurry!) It's tough to solve a problem or resolve a conflict without big amounts of curiosity. Curiosity about causes. Curiosity about opportunities. Curiosity about solutions. Curiosity about possibilities. Once we begin to get more curious about possibilities, our possibilities increase.  And, when our

What are you attached to that's holding you back or slowing you down? The way things used to be? The dream that no longer makes sense? That relationship that is over but lingers in your memory? Or, maybe it's doubt about your abilities or capacity? Sometimes we hold onto our doubts so tightly that we fall in love with them. Let them go. Release those doubts, worries, and fears. They aren't helping you. But they are slowing you down. What are you attached to that's holding you back? Are you willing to let go of that today? -- Doug Smith Front Range Leadership:   High Performance Leadership Training doug smith training:  how to achieve your goals

Do you have all the help you need to achieve your biggest goals? Do you have big goals in place that will change your life? How will you achieve those goals? Our really biggest, life-changing goals usually require help. Help from other people to keep us on track. Help from other people to motivate us when things get tough. Help from other people to break down barriers and think of creative ways to achieve what seems impossible. What will it take to interest more people in your goals? People who can help. People who would benefit from what you have to offer once your goal is complete. People who care. Is is a presentation? Is it a conversation? Is it a picture? What will it take? And - when will you get started? -- Doug Smith Front Range Leadership:   High Performance Leadership Training doug smith training:  how to achieve your goals

How many goals do you have? Some days I have too many to count. It's easy to lose track of how many goals I'm working on at any given time. How about you? It's better when we keep a definitive list. It's easier to track and complete those goals when we know what they are and when they are right in front of us every day. The real advantage to keeping a careful watch on how many goals we have is to avoid holding onto competing goals. When we have goals that not only oppose each other (by competing for time, resources, attention) but distract us then we are not at our optimal best. How can we complete two goals that compete with each other? Setting goals that compete with each other is not a formula for success. When it happens, spot it, fix it, and move on. Each and every goal should support our overall vision or mission. When they don't, they might compete with each other -- and with our focus of attention. Do you have any competing goals? How can you rec