doug smith training

What does maybe me to you? When I was a young dad, "maybe" probably meant "no" to me, but it meant a definite "yes" to my children. It's all in how you look at it and, of course, your agenda. When someone is working hard to convince us of something, they may hear a "yes" in our "maybe" that isn't there. This can build resistance that isn't necessary from our point of view and that gets in the way of genuine opportunities. We start defending our "no" when what we really meant was "we're not sure." What if instead of saying "maybe" we said "convince me?" What if we kept open and curious about the possibilities instead of going into a conversation with our minds made up? I think we'd open ourselves up to some greatly improved results and some beautiful surprises. Oh, yes, and then we'd be authentically communicating instead of just pretending to. What do you think?

What's the risk of solving your problem? If that seems like a funny question, imagine the effects of a solution that alienates your team, your customers, or your partners. Imagine a solution that is ignored, leaving a bad taste in everyone's mouth about the whole process. Of course you don't want that. Solving the problem should make things better, not worse. Still, making sure that you've covered those (and other) solution risks is an important part of centered problem solving. It's not all about you, and it's not all about the problem. It's the situation, the people, the chemistry involved as well. But leaving the problem unsolved is not a great option. Remaining fearful of the effects of your solution is dangerous when it leaves you polarized and the problem unsolved. Risks occur then, too. The problem gets worse. People get discouraged. Customers wonder what's going on. Leaving a problem unsolved is a sketchy strategy, even if it's chosen

Do you have a hard time saying no? The trouble with always saying yes is that it's impossible to do everything. I don't know a single person who can do everything. Can you? It's better to say no than to explain why you didn't finish what you promised. And when we say yes, it sounds like a promise. Prioritize. Consider the work involved. Understand where you can make your biggest impact. Focus on the goals that get you to your mission and de-prioritize anything that does not. You will meet with resistance. You will get some push-back. But before you make that promise -- think about the option of saying no. Often, it's not as big a deal as we feared because someone else can step in and do it. But once we take it on, it's ours. Say no, rather than disappoint. It's what they would want. -- Doug Smith

What happens when you set a wrong goal? A wrong goal is one that you can't get excited about, that hasn't got a clear customer, and that doesn't make anyone happy. Shouldn't you be happy about a goal? Achieving your goals depends on setting the right goals in the first place. Goals that excite. Goals that improve. Goals that make the world a better place. Seem too big? I understand. When that seems too big I just work on a goal that can make the world better right here, right now -- some small part of the world. A team, a relationship, a customer deliverable. Make something better. It makes a difference. Are you setting the right goals? -- Doug Smith

Do you ever find it easy to identify the solution to someone else's problem? Without the headaches and heartburn of the problem sitting in your own life, it can seem far more simple and easy to solve. Seem. That does not mean that it is. And when we take on the problems of another without asking them what they've already done or plan to do, any solution that we do develop is likely to fall short. Ownership of the solution is just as important as creativity. Sometimes solving someone else's problem  for  them is a big mistake. Collaborate rather than dictate. Share ideas. Work together. Understand the problem at it's heart and center and not just on the surface. That takes time. That takes patience. And that takes collaboration. Centered problem solvers collaborate with creativity, courage, clarity, and compassion. Leave any of that out, and the solution may be incomplete and ineffective. We've all tried that already, haven't we? Why not start to get

What's your single biggest stressor? Would you like to get rid of it? For me, the biggest stressor in my life is usually also my biggest problem. The longer it stays a problem, the bigger and more gnarly it gets, which puts more pressure on me to solve it, which causes more stress. I could do without that stress. But, it's there to help. Stress reminds us that somethings needs to be taken care of. Something needs to be fixed, found, or solved. Why not simply get started? Solving your toughest problem may not relieve all of your stress but it sure helps focus it in the right direction. Why not relieve some of that stress today? Get started! Centered problem solvers realize that problems are not completely separate from themselves. We know not to take them personally, and yet they interfere with our personal selves. Instead of reacting in an immobilized way to the stress that produces, why not move forward. Figure out the root cause of the problem and then set about a

Why would anyone not support one of your goals? It seems clear to you. You know the benefit. You see the value. It's an easy choice. Why isn't it getting the support that you want? People need help. We don't always understand a goal the first time we hear it. Or even the second. Or third. We're all so busy, that for any one goal to catch our attention (especially if it's not even our ow goal) it had better be clear, creative, courageous, and compassionate. In other words, it must prepare to do bold things in a kind way. When we can frame our goals from that point of view, they seem much more compelling. People who stand in the way of your goals don't yet understand them. So make sure that people understand these keys to your goals: - the financial value - the personal value (how it effects people positively) - what makes it cool (how is it amazingly creative?) - the adventure (where's the challenge in it that makes it almost a dare?) Include

What would people think about you if all they knew about you was your goals? Would they consider you ambitious? Noble? Focused? Ask yourself that question and think about your answers. If I only knew what your goals were, would you be someone I'd want to spend time with? Help you with those goals? Tell my family about? I need to ask myself those questions, too. What makes my goals so special? What makes me worth talking to? I'm with you on this one today. What do our goals say about us? -- Doug Smith

If that problem has been around awhile, if that problem is cagey to the point of making you scratch your head, you might need many solutions. Many ideas. Creative, centered problem solvers stay with the process long enough to develop more solutions that any one problem needs. The gold is deep. Keep digging. -- Doug Smith

Do problems make you tense? Some problems really get me going. The space of no solution is a tough one to navigate. There probably IS a solution, it's just not evident yet. In the mean time, it's tense. Why not use that tension? The tension that problems cause us is energy: use it. -- Doug Smith

I remember when my kids were little, every once in a while we'd tell them "don't be scared." Because, of course, they were. We're all scared sometimes. Big problems can scare us. What on earth will we do? How will we ever solve such a tough problem? That's our sign. Solve that thing. Get working on it. Don't be scared. Fear of a problem is all the more reason to solve it. Centered problem solvers don't internalize the fear of a problem - they energize around it. You're not afraid of that little problem are you? Me, either. -- Doug Smith

Problems resist easy answers. That's why we need to ask the tough questions. Why are things the way they are? What is the deeper cause? On the surface, we may think we understand a problem. Digging deeper, asking probing and open ended questions, we can get at the heart of what is really going on. Are people being rewarded for incorrect behavior? Is someone benefitting from the problem situation? If so, who? Is it too easy to ignore the problem? Is the source of the problem aware that there is even a problem? For example, those who most resist a fair distribution of work are those who may not be working too hard. Why change?  Executives making juicy bonuses may not even be aware of how hard it is to live paycheck to paycheck. Creative problem solvers ask the tough questions with curiosity. Not to judge. Not to punish. But to know. What's really going on? Centered problem solvers use their creativity to separate people from the problem. They use their compassion to f