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Asking the Right Questions

"Questions are taken for granted rather than given a starring role in human drama. Yet all my teaching and consulting experience has taught me that what builds a relationship, what solves problems, what moves things forward is asking the right questions." -- Dr. Edgar H. Schein, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling Retrieved 29 April 2023 from: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/43958.Edgar_H_Schein  

It's a Job!

Jobs are a balance of learning and repetition. We forge new ground and we walk on well-worn territory. The routine wears us down, even when it's necessary.  High performance leaders show the value of a well practiced, skillfully executed job routine. Discipline in work comes from the extra effort of pushing thru when the task is due. Maybe you did it before, maybe you'll do it again -- give it all you've got right now. Someone is watching. -- doug smith 

Finding Deeper Conversations

We talk at the surface level (when we do talk!) most of the time. The good stuff, the material and the feelings and the knowledge that can help us the most is deeper. Baring our souls. Opening our hearts. Exercising our minds. Why don't we do more of that? As leaders, we should be experts at facilitating deeper conversations. We should create the space for people to feel safe, open, and free to say what they think and feel. We may not agree with them, and given enough time to think and feel openly, they might not even feel that way, either. When we take the time to express, listen, and process, then can get to a deeper place surrounded by better results. Taking a conversation deeper may feel risky but that's where the gold is. Deeper! -- doug smith

Your Inner Peace

Do other people upset your inner peace? Do you ever find yourself getting emotional over something someone said, or did? Oh, have I ever done that! So many times! It's not inevitable though, and as leaders we do well to get our emotions under control. We do control our emotions. It may not feel that way, because emotions are extremely strong. We can tame them, we can control them, we can manage our emotions. In a world where emotionally intelligent leaders are needed more than ever, gaining that sense of inner peace is essential. Taking a deep breath. Reflecting on what we've learned. Meditating. Praying. Expressing gratitude. Building social equity by serving with kindness and compassion. The work is long and steady and -- strictly optional.  Will you take the option?  Develop your emotional core of strength, focus, and centeredness and it will serve you (and the people you serve) well. Your inner peace belongs to you.  -- doug smith  

Help that Returns

How much time do you spend solving problems? Leaders who I have talked with say they spend a lot of time solving problems. The ones who seem to actually SOLVE most of those problems say that many of those problems belong to someone else -- they are simply helping. We can't help everyone solve their problems but we can probably help a lot more people than we do. Helping someone else solve their problem can likely lead to you solving your own. How does that happen? We learn by solving problems. New techniques, new tools get grown and sown into our repertoire of material. We become more adept. Also, by helping other people, those same people become much likely to help you when you needed. And hey, it also feels nice. Give some help, and watch gleefully when it returns. -- doug smith  

Clarity and Creativity

Is it possible to be too creative? Possible or not, many people fear that. They back away from radical innovation because it's scary. How can you know? How can you keep your creative juices in proportion to the juice available? How much is too much? More often than not, too much is not the issue. By holding back, by stepping fearfully, we are much more likely to settle for far too little. That's not for you, is it? That's not for me! And, yet, I don't want to over-do it, either! Yikes, what are we to do to create and maintain enough balance so that we have the creative energy to test the unknown without jumping off a cliff? It takes clarity. Clarity around a vision. Clarity around solid values. Clarity around current priorities.  Clarity gives us the guardrails we need to know how much is too much. Touch on that clarity. Develop that clarity. Rely on that clarity and fear diminishes.  Creativity balanced with clarity bridges the possible and impossible.  There may not b

New Tools

Do you ever catch yourself relying on old tools? We've all got those tools that just seem to fit comfortably into situations that we feel the need to fix. Stock quotes, favorite lines, basic interventions, templates left from some long ago project... It's not that they won't work (sometimes they do!) or that we should abandon them forever. Instead, it's a matter of branching out, dancing faster, jumping into new waves of motion. Learn how to use new tools, give the old ones a rest, and see how much more useful your whole set of tools becomes.  I'll try that -- how about you? -- doug smith

Focus

Solving problems can be challenging, especially when we're not even sure of what we want. How can you know what the solution is supposed to look like when you only focus on the pain of the problem? Get past the pain. Get past the problem. Knowing what you want from a solution is the first step in getting it. Set a clear, honest, noble goal and the rest gets very much easier. -- doug smith

Your Truth Now...

Do you know anyone who has every bit of the absolute truth? Nothing can ever convince that type of person that they could be wrong. It could be because they know for sure that part of it IS true.  But do they really? I'm not saying that all truth is relative (although certainly SOME is...) But, unless we keep an open mind and stay curious, how will we ever know, how will we ever grow? Tell me the truth, just don't pretend you know all of it. -- doug smith  

Powerful Curiosity

If you've attended any of my events on communication or leadership, you know that I believe that curiosity is powerful. It is more powerful than many alternatives. Curiosity is more powerful than rhetoric, dogma, or unquestioned truth. Curiosity is more powerful than judgement, or data, or drama.  Stay curious, and see how powerful it is! -- doug smith  

Note to Self #201

Any time I'm tempted to judge I want to reach for love instead. It's better for others, and also better for me. -- doug smith

Creativity and Discipline

Creativity and discipline are not mutually exclusive, they are mutually dependent. To rely on both, develop both -- creativity to light the fire and discipline to keep it lit. --  doug smith