Key Questions to Stay Curious

photo of Rusty by Judi Madigan

How curious are you?

In my workshops on communication and achieving your goals I point out how important it is to listen with curiosity. We are most attentive when we are most curious. Instead of jumping to conclusions or judging before it's necessary, high performance leaders center their listening around staying curious.

How do you do that?

One way is by asking relevant questions. One of my mentors, Lester T. Shapiro (who wrote the book The Training Effectiveness Handbook) once said that the primary role of leaders is to ask relevant questions.

Here are some questions that I've found extremely relevant and that help me to remain curious:

What is your case?

We are always building a case and not always aware of the case that we're building or why. It might not even serve our best interests, and yet we can talk ourselves into anything. Stay curious about what you really want, what you think you want and (most importantly) is what you think is true really true?

What is your goal?

What do you want to achieve? Are you sure? Are you committed? Is your goal in this situation compatible with who you want to be known as?

What is your agenda?

What are you doing, consciously or unconsciously, to create the environment you just operate in? Is that what you want? What might you need to change to create your best possible world? Who can help? When will you begin?

What are your assumptions?

Interrogate your truth (as Susan Scott would say. For more on this see her great book Fierce Conversations). Identify possibilities, fallacies, misdirections, lies, hallucinations, dreams, rationalizations, and all fuzzy thinking. Stop making shit up!

What is unknown?

Identify the missing pieces. What's happening in the background? What has led to the current situation? Know what you don't know so that you can learn it. What do you need? Figure out what other people are looking for in the situation and if you can all reach a mutually beneficial outcome. Sometimes we're drawn into a competition that isn't even needed.

What do you need?

What do you need and where can you find it ini order to achieve your goals? Who can help? Be very honest about what resources you must have, and which are simply desirable but not critical. The first step to getting what you need, in order to get what you want, is to know what you need.

What are you curious about?

Stay open and curious no matter what. Consider wild, fun, miraculous possibilities. Stop judging and simply accept. You can always evaluate later on. That inner judge or inner critic is not gone for good, just on a break. Make the most of it. Challenge assumptions. Challenge limitations. Challenge imperfections. Smile.

That last point, to smile, is not a humorous throwaway. I mean it. Smile. See what a difference it makes. And for heaven's sake -- stay curious!

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Follow The Script?

Have you ever had a conversation with a customer service representative and you could tell that they were simply following a script? How did you feel about that? Sometimes the script works, but usually it doesn't feel human to the customer. As we get more and more responses from actual robots, it's worth considering how much better we can give human responses as humans. Quick Service Do's and Don'ts: Don't just follow a script when you hear it's not working. Don't assume that the customer is wrong. Don't take it personally when the customer gets upset. Don't argue with the customer. Instead, do these: Do listen to understand the customer's needs. Do empathize with the customer. Do collaborate rather than dictate. Do think creatively, even if you need to pause, in order to find better answers. That's not the whole list, of course, but it's a useful place to start. No matter who we're talking to we should always be better than a robot...

Miracle Service?

Training is important. Service is a priority. But you just can't train someone to provide great service and satisfy a customer if the product is bad. Maybe for a moment, but not for long can you keep anyone smiling when the product is poking them in the eye. The best customer service rep in the world can't fix a bad product. Once you realize that you're dealing with a bad product there's no reason to be angry with the service rep. They know it's bad, too. They'd fix it if they could. They likely can't. When the product is bad, find a better product. -- doug smith Training Activity What if that assumption is incorrect? What if you really can make things better with superior service, even when the product is broken beyond repair? What would that look like? What would you train your people to say? What would it look like for someone to create such a great relationship with a customer that the product was inconsequential?

Something Else

We do it frequently -- blame people for what's wrong. And when we blame people for something they did not cause it often makes things worse because now they feel bad about it and maybe even defensive. Even though it feels like people get i the way of perfection, it's usually something else. Fix the process. Fix the rule. Fix the presentation. Fix the product. People are better than we realize, and seldom to blame for service breakdowns. -- doug smith Training Activity Make a list of the three most recent service breakdowns that you have experienced. For each breakdown, score on a scale of 1 - 10 how much of that breakdown was caused by: Process Rules Presentation Product People Now you know where to start fixing things.

It's Not About The Money

Of course we all need to make money. We earn our profits with honor when we provide goods, services, and care for our customers. It's possible to create a better world AND make money in the process. But, all too often, in that process we encounter problems. In the service of our people (customers, team members, vendors, regulators...) we should solve those problems. Sometimes, companies seek to monetize that process by creating problem situations that beg for solutions, which are then made available for an upgrade with an extra fee. Yuck. Short term that may seem smart but long term it's burning down the house you live in just to warm it up. The minute you monetize problem solving you create more problems. And those problems will be much harder to solve. -- doug smith

Surprise!

What have been your major changes? What magnificent visions have you had that you eventually released? Sometimes, to make room for the next great thing, we need to let go of the less than great wish we're holding onto. What looks like success at one point in our lives because less convincing as it slips away, hides, or becomes impossible. Life goes on. New dreams form. Greatness always welcomes us to new opportunities. If your vision of success changes, that is also success. You are now free to be great (and happy) in another direction. Life goes on; the joy in it is up to you. -- doug smith

A Frustrating Problem

As an old six sigma project manager I firmly believe that most problems are caused by broken processes, not broken people. But let's face it, some people not only don't realize that but they refuse to fix the process. If you know a process is broken, and do nothing to change that, the problem gets worse. If you can solve someone's problem but refuse to, you might be the problem. Don't be the problem. Fix the process, even if you need help. Because there are no perfect processes, but there are lots of people avoiding them. -- doug smith

Positive Choice

Yes or no? Certainly not maybe because that takes you nowhere. Yes or no? I don't always get the answer right, but I feel sure about this: yes is better than a guess. Yes gets us moving. Yes opens doors. Yes starts the experiment and learning begins. Yes is better than a guess. And, if you need to guess, guess yes! -- doug smith

Improving

Expecting good people to be perfect is expecting too much but expecting them to constantly improve is reasonable. Expecting everyone to constantly is reasonable. How can you as a leader make that happen? 1. Tell your people that it (constant improvement) is your expectation. 2. Support your people in their development. Give them the training you know they need AND the training that they ask for. 3. Coach at every opportunity. Check in on their goals. Ask about their progress. Ask how you can help. The good news is the more that you do those three things the more you are also constantly improving. And, there's nothing like walking the talk to get more people improving. -- doug smith

Growth

No one does everything. It's not about achieving everything. You don't need to achieve all of your goals everyday, but achieving any of your goals puts you ahead. What goal are you working on today? -- doug smith

Status

How much of your leadership relies on status? Status can be granted or seized, earned or burned. A frequent cause of conflict, people often compete for status even when they don't realize it. It gives way to one-upping others, to interrupting others, to manipulating others, all in search of some magic elevation to wear the crown. It's usually a figurative crown, but palpable nonetheless. It causes people to take things personally, all in an attempt to raise their personal standing. As high performance leaders, let's take notice. As centered and balanced leaders, let's place status into the proper perspective: it is not who you are. The struggle for status inevitably disappoints. Find the common cause. Create the common ground. Wear the common hat. -- doug smith

doug smith training

Search This Blog