doug smith training

Look for team members who take responsibility without being asked to because those are your future leaders. -- doug smith  

The best leaders tell the truth. People know that, even when they don't do that. We live in a world filled with so many lies that people have stopped even believing in truth. If it's all relative anyway then just say what you want, right? No. It's not all relative. And, while the truth will change, and while none of us can be absolutely sure about all truth, we can all tell the truth instead of purposely deceiving others. Maybe it's by design.  Lies reveal hidden desires. And, no matter what that desire is, if you have to lie to get it, you won't keep it long. -- doug smith Reflective exercise: What's the biggest lie you've ever told?  How long did it remain a secret?  What was the final outcome? What do you think would have been the outcome if you'd simply told the truth?

Do you have too much drama at work? Whenever I ask a class this during one of my Managing Conflict programs the answer is almost always "Yes!" (sometimes, it looks like this: YESSSS!!!!) Drama. It's all around us. Conflicts that are hard to resolve. Personality differences. Political incongruities. Societal hypocrisies. Fractured relationships and sore self-esteem. Drama. We like drama. It ignites us. It gets the heart beating faster. But do we really need it when our team just needs to finish a project? Do we really want it when what we should do instead is communicate more effectively, lead with influence instead of power, and reach mutually beneficial outcomes in change? Of course. Drama makes us feel so alive that even when it isn't necessary we tend to invent it. Given a choice, why invent the unnecessary? -- doug smith Notes: Here’s the process we cover in our program on Managing Conflict: 1. Uncover the causes. 2. Defuse the drama 3. Identify your choices 4. Fi...

We've all done it, haven't we -- smiled and nodded when we weren't sure we'd agreed? It seems so polite and yet ambiguity is not always our friend when we seek to lead others. Don't pretend that you know. Find out. Don't pretend you agree -- talk about it. Clarify, clarify, clarify! The truth may be moe muddled than you know. -- doug smith  

How important is it for us to be clear? Clear about our intentions. Clear about our resolve. Clear about our willing to share responsibility for success. High performance leaders are clear. Clarity prevents multiple misinterpretations. Is your message really clear? Do your team members all share understand of that message? -- doug smith  

It's too easy to say the wrong thing. We get excited. We feel insulted. We jump to conclusions and blurt out something not quite what we meant. I've done it. You've probably done it, too. What if we thought about it for just a moment? What if we set out to be kind, compassionate, and still courageous? There is always more than one way to say what we feel, and the way that we say it matters -- sometimes more than what in that moment we feel and believe. Something we say in passing could be remembered forever. What if we made that memory kind? -- doug smith  

How often do you avoid a conversation because it feels difficult? All too often? Once in a while? Always? The conversations we avoid can come back to haunt us. Don't run away. Talk about it. -- doug smith  

Maybe it didn't turn out \exactly as you planned. Maybe the problem is still clanking around in the background or even right in front of you.  There you are. Calm. Focused. Centered.  Centered problem solvers are OK even if their problem is not yet solved. -- doug smith  

Simply buying some one's solution solves one problem but it might not be yours that it solves. Consider the source. Consider the agenda. Consider the ramifications. Centered problem solving could take longer, but you'll like the results more. -- doug smith 

We tend to claim that we don't want problems. Let's just keep it smooth. Let's not rock the boat. And yet, worry and anxiety and low self-esteem can produce an unlimited amount of concern. There must be a problem, right, because there always is a problem? It's hard to talk yourself out of a problem that you talked yourself into. What do you tell yourself about your problems? Maybe that's a place to start. -- doug smith  

Have you ever completely forgotten about a goal? Honestly, I have. Those kind of goals have a built in resistance that is trying to tell us something. It's not the same as a goal that makes you uncomfortable because that could be a good thing. Rather, it's a goal that does not even seem to interest you. Pick goals you can't stop thinking about -- those are the ones you really want.  -- doug smith

Problems are discouraging. They slow us down. Often a problem will confound us. Problems can polarize us into immobility if we let them, afraid to make any decision because it might make the problem worse. Keep solving. Keep analyzing. Keep working on better choices. A problem won't stop you if you don't stop. Keep going. -- doug smith