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Showing posts from April, 2019

Video: Gain Respect by de-escalating the drama

From Don Miller, author of StoryBrand, who shares brief, useful videos he calls Business Made Simple Daily. I find the insights so useful that I recommend subscribing. Most are only a couple of minutes long and can get your day off to great, ambitious, energetic start.

This video is about gaining respect. One fast way is to deal more effectively with drama. Too often a situation is overly dramatized and while that can get attention, it can also lose respect.



The fast way to gain respect? De-escalate drama and tension. Remain calm, pull away slightly, and imagine the least dramatic solution to the problem.


Video: Regression to the Mean

Fascinating video on the impact of feedback on performance and how our expectations are often deceived. Is positive feedback more effective, or is negative feedback a higher impact to performance?




Refection Questions What do you think?

If regression to the mean (falling back or rising up to the average) is to be expected, which type of feedback do you think is more effective - negative or positive?  Why is that?








You Know About Assumptions

Assumptions are short cuts. Assumptions are lazy paths to uncertain places. Assumptions get us lost more often than they get us found.

You know about assumptions: don't make them.

Like many simple concepts, that's easier said than done and yet completely necessary. I'm so good at making assumptions and making things up that I have to constantly remind myself not to do it. The best habit to prevent assumptions is to ask questions. Clarify, clarify, clarify. Get the real facts. Discover the honest feelings. Clarify, confirm, test those assumptions!

Assuming you know means that you don't. Communicate better by asking.

-- doug smith



Should You Talk About Your Problem?

How often do you share your problems with other people? There was a time in my life when I kept everything to myself, considering it too personal and figuring that no-one had time to help me with my problems. But, you know what? Sometimes we share problems even when we don't share. People can tell. Problems effect performance. Problems effect service, Problems rob us of happiness and sap us of our energy. We need to solve our problems, not hide them.

You might not solve that problem by talking about it, but what if you did?

Centered problem solvers create dialogue. They listen and share in order to reach mutual understanding. The first step to mutual agreement on the solution to a problem is to understand the problem AND each other.

Got a problem? Talk about it.

-- doug smith

Should You Do a Team Building Event?

Team building is great and can be a true morale booster -- if your team is ready for it. If the team morale is already low, though, a team building event might be the last thing you need. How do you know?

Before scheduling a team building event, check to see how each team member would feel about it. That means spending time with each of them, one on one, to discover how things are going. How are the dynamics? Does everyone enjoy working on the team? What are the challenges and the issues?

You could even introduce some low risk team building activities into your regular meetings. You don't need a zip line or trust falls in the wilderness to get closer as a team. Sometimes, just a warm-up question before a meeting is enough to start the bonding. Questions like "if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?" and "if money were no object, what would you do?" and "if you could make one fundamental, game-changing change to our business,…

Video: Four Words - Tom Peters

In this brief video, Tom Peters explains two key ideas: 18 seconds (the average time before a doctor interrupts a patient) and four words (a powerful way to keep you listening.)



Video: Summary of "Crucial Conversations"

I do recommend reading the book. It will help you handle conversations that feel like confrontations and to do it in ways that honor everyone in the conversation. In the meantime, watching this quick summary video from The Productivity Game will give you immediately useful tips on navigating those crucial conversations.












No Giving In

Are you ever tempted to give up?

I don't mean in the big scheme of things -- of course you should not give up on that -- life is a beautiful gift and meant to be meaningful and joyful. But, on the smaller, less grand things. I am often tempted to give up or give in because:

a) I want to be cooperative and in-service to others, and
b) I do not like conflict

The trouble with giving in is that you don't get what you want. And while it's easy to see that is not your best outcome, it's also not great for those who must work with you.

Think about it. If you yield to every autocratic order barked your way and every bureaucratic nonsensical procedure how much would that slow you down? It might slow you down to, oh say, zero.

We must sometimes confront the thing that stands in our way. Stands in our way of justice, stands in the way of our freedom, stands in the way of our dignity. (You could build a wall of all the bricks of injustice that stand in our way.)

Leaders don't…

Dealing With Mostly No

Have you ever noticed that a lot of people default to no?

If you ask them for something -- no. If you offer something for sale -- no. If you promise a truly great experience in exchange for a small investment -- no.

We are hard wired to say no.

The trouble with that is that we miss yes.

One of my favorite movies is "Yes Man." I know that it is a silly movie. I know that it's broad and insane and not at all realistic. But if you haven't seen it, give it a chance. Say yes. It's all about a character played by Jim Carrey who is in the habit of constantly saying no. Then one day he goes to a Yes Convention (or something like that.)  And of course, since it's a seminar, his life is changed. He begins to say yes. At first very reluctantly, but once he gets in the flow of it he says yes to everything -- too much in fact, putting himself in danger. Of course he does, it's a movie.

I like the yes man in yes man better than the no dude.

I do not say yes all of the…

How to Deal With Change You Don't Like

Who likes change?

At one time or another (and probably MOST of the time) we resist change. It's causing us to do something differently and that is an effort we probably did not ask for. If it's not your idea, change is an aggravation.

I don't like it when my phone decides to upgrade. Every single new release for the past two years has been worse, not better than the previous one. And yet, I have no control over it other than to switch to another phone that will likely offer the same aggravation. My current choice is to get over it and move on.

If I control something, I make the changes that I want (most of the time.) New car? That's up to me. New coffee cup? Ditto. New client? That's in an area of influence, but not control.

That's why the flow chart I've created. Do you control it? Then do that.

Can you influence the change? Then get busy and build more influence.

If you cannot control OR influence a change you still have two choice. You can roll with -- …

One Thing to Let Go

What's your reaction if someone on your team makes an excuse for failing to achieve a goal or complete a task?

That's what I thought. I don't like it, either.

And here's the thing -- no one believes excuses. There is zero payoff to an excuse.

We might as well break the habit, face the facts, and tell the truth. We completed the task or we didn't. If we didn't, there is no-one but ourselves responsible.

There are no believable excuses. We might as well stop trying to use them.

-- doug smith