doug smith training

Have you ever worked so hard on something that it made you miserable?  Major goals do take hard work. When we set a goal if we're serious about it we must be ready to work hard to achieve it. But only if it matters. Only if we know that achieving that goal will make us better and happier or perhaps perform a noble good in the world. If a goal doesn't do that -- if a goal doesn't make you happy -- let it go. -- doug smith  

A few years ago there was a lot of attention on a personal development technique known as "the secret." I'm not here to debunk the secret or throw shade in its direction, because if you've heard about it you've probably already made up your mind. Like many of other methods, if it works for you, enjoy -- and if it doesn't, choose. This is not nearly so lofty a concept I'm about to share, and it's nothing that I've made up. It's been known forever. But just because it's known doesn't mean that it's easy. Just because it's simple doesn't guarantee success. Like anything worth working for, we've got to work for it.  The magic ingredient to achieving your goals is discipline. That's it. Whatever your course of action, you've got to put in the work. Whatever great habits will propel you forward, you've got to sustain the discipline to keep doing them. Is that the real secret? You decide. -- doug smith  

Goals are important. We should always be working toward meaningful goals. While we're doing that, we sometimes stumble. We even miss or must delay great goals.  When we pay attention, we learn valuable lessons from working on our goals, even when we miss.   Sometimes the learning is worth more than the goal. Go for the goal, and be sure to catch the learning. -- doug smith

It's one thing if a team member is unable to do something due to lack of knowledge or skill or resources. It's completely different when they ARE able but are unwilling.  Especially if the only thing standing in someone's way is their laziness. It's too much work for them. They don't see the payoff. But, for the rest of the team the payoff is both obvious and necessary. It may take a little work on the part of leadership to move that laziness aside. It could take patience. Persistence. Pressing on. Why not press on by showing that you are NOT too lazy to encourage effort? Why not demonstrate the value -- and the joy -- in the work? Overcoming laziness is work well worth the effort.  -- doug smith

You could think of it as the ostrich effect - putting your head in the sand to avoid a danger. You can't see it anymore, you don't notice the discomfort, but it's still there and you're still exposed. Overlooking the complexity of a problem does not simplify it -- or solve it.  As uncomfortable as it may be, we need to face our problems with courage, deal with them using our creativity, focus on our goals with clarity, and show compassion for anyone effected by our course of action. When problems are complicated we need not hide. It's better to rise. -- doug smith  

What's the strongest emotion for you?  What's the one emotion that more often than not seems to run you instead of you running the emotion? If the answer is "none" then good for you, and maybe share how you got there because it sure is hard for most of us. Emotions once activated send all the right chemicals thru our bodies to keep us in that elevated emotional state. When we need that flush of energy it's worth experiencing the rush. When we don't, it gets in the way. We can choose. We have the ability to take emotions out of problem solving if we are willing to.  Are you willing to? -- doug smith  

Collaborative problem solving makes conflict resolution just and fair. Resolving conflict and solving problems are not the same thing, but they do share much in common and can unify efforts toward better solutions. Work together. Talk about it. Share concerns. Consider (always) the needs of others. It's not magic, it's hard work. -- doug smith 

It can be frustrating when people don't see it your way. What if you know what you're talking about? What if you've already optimized that process, that method, that protocol?  This helps me - to wonder if maybe there is also another way, maybe even many other ways. Your formula for success may be unique but it is not the only productive path. The possibilities are endless. -- doug smith   

Have you ever noticed that people can't seem to realize it when they're wrong? That makes it frustrating for both the person who is wrong and the person who is quite certain that they're wrong. We get stuck. We dig in. It happens in conversations, in conflicts, and in relationships. When we're really wrong, we're really wrong, and we don't even know it. As long as we're wrong we don't see that we're wrong. How do we fix that? (Here it is worth it to pause and wonder, hmmm, how do we?) Pause.  It's worth a try. Stay open to possibilities. Listen as if we don't already know the answer, because even if we do the answer might have (probably HAS) changed. When we're wrong we've got to pause to figure that out. And when we're right, we've got to pause to see if that's still true. There's no shame in being wrong. But, it's a total shame to stay that way. -- doug smith  

Avoiding a conflict does not make you neutral. It may be healthy at times to avoid conflict, but if your team or someone you love is suffering because of that conflict, you've got responsibilities. What do you do when conflict is necessary? High performance leaders have a plan because they've practiced sensible strategies over and over again. Maybe consider that aching conflict another practice opportunity. -- doug smith 

How much time do you spend keeping score? Our clients, our customers, our employers, even our families expect us to keep score. At this point there probably isn't any stopping it. But, it's not always the most important thing.  What if you stopped keeping score when you're enjoying something just for what it is: a sunset, a low tide, a bird on the wing, a team member who smiles when they see you...we are not always competing with each other. Sometimes, we're all in this together. What if that could happen more often? As a leader, what kind of world are you trying to create? How about a world with more smiles? -- doug smith