doug smith training

Inspiration has its own time table, but sometimes we have to shake up the clock. Maybe instead of waiting for inspiration we should meet it halfway. How else will it ever find you? -- doug smith

  Many people sense a natural gift for sarcasm. A funny remark at someone else's expense might make you laugh, but what about the person the humors is directed toward. To say afterwards "it's just a joke" misses the obvious -- there is an element of truth inside that joke or at least an element of intention. I know that I am overly sensitive about sarcasm and I know that many people find it funny. If it bothers me, though, I expect that it bothers other people, too. Even when we get the joke, we do not think it funny. It's worth asking yourself before that joke emerges floating on mean spirits with the wit whether or not sarcasm is your best choice. And when someone uses sarcasm on you, it's worth being bold enough to ask them. "Is sarcasm your best choice right now?"  Because they can do better. We can all do better. But, sarcasm does not help. -- doug smith

How do you handle disappointment? Things don't always go the way we want them to. Maybe that date didn't turn out like you planned. Maybe the team missed a deadline on that important project. Or, maybe you said something you later regretted.  There was a time when I would get stuck in my disappointment. It would turn into a binding, cringing loop of doom, waiting to repeat again and again.  Not fun. Perspective helps. In the big scheme of things, how important will this be a year from now? Five years from now?  Some disappointments could last that long, but seriously, most do not. Feel it, let it go, get over it. Disappointment simply proves that we can always make things better. And to make things better, let's move forward. -- doug smith  

Our influence is usually smaller than we want it to be but greater than we realize. That's a good thing because humility helps our influence grow. -- doug smith  

Accepting a truth does not mean endorsing it. Sometimes it really is what it is.  Until you change it. -- doug smith

Many leaders like to rely on their instincts. It's easy. It feels right. With enough experience, sometimes those instincts are spot on. But not always. If you want to trust an instinct make sure that you now and can trust the source of that instinct. Is it real? Is it relevant? Is it recent? Feelings are great, but show me the data every time.  -- doug smith  

It is challenging to be a perfectionist. Continuous improvement is noble and necessary. Perfect is impossible. I picture myself, as John Wesley said, on the road to perfection and never quite there. Imperfection is a condition, not a punishment. We all make mistakes. Let's just fix them. -- doug smith  

I'd like to follow Abraham Lincoln's approach of turning enemies into friends. That wasn't easy for him and clearly did not always work. It doesn't always work for me, either. If someone is determined to remain your enemy it is tough to change their minds. Difficult, but not impossible. The temptation is to chase them away, or to run quietly in the opposite direction and hope that it works out on its own. It seldom works out on its own. If you chase your enemy away you won't know what they're up to. Keep the conversation going. Find out what their goal is. Look for common ground. Hey, I know that is not easy. But, how well has the alternative worked so far? And how how far can you run before your enemy finds you? -- doug smith  

  What if there was a way to bridge the divide we all feel everyday, especially in our political views? What if there was a skill that could help people connect meaningfully by listening first, keeping judgment at bay, and finding common ground? UnScripted Products posed that question and launched a pilot workshop to explore ways to communicate more satisfyingly thru improv.  I've been blessed with many opportunities to practice improv with truly fabulous, sincere, and creative people all over the USA -- in New Jersey, Chicago, Michigan, Colorado, Pennsylvania -- all over. Each improv group brings their own spark and joy. One wonderful feature of participating in different improv groups is that it does not feel like we are competing with each other because improv is a community.  That makes it just about a perfect model for improving communication, crossing polarized divides, and recognizing people for the marvelously complicated but at heart well-intentioned beings that ...

Neglect is not neutral. Power comes from practice. Know it. Show it. Do it again. -- doug smith  

Peter Drucker once said "what gets measured gets done" and there is much truth to that. Point people in the direction you want and they will do their best to get there. Just make sure, very sure, that you are measure what you really want and doing it without creating paths to cheating your way there. Given an incentive, people will find a way to achieve it. Most will work fairly but some will be tempted to game the. system, to stack the deck, to churn the number on their own behalf. That's not what you want. Ask yourself this question: how can we measure quantity and quality without gaming the system? Until you've answered that question, you'll never know how accurate, or useful, the measure is. -- doug smith