doug smith training

If you've ever had a boss who treated you like you should be perfect, you know how uncomfortable and how unachievable that expectation is. As leaders, we need not ever expect perfection. What we are reasonable in expecting is constant improvement.  Even with constant improvement as an expectation, we should also realize that it is natural for people to plateau, for that level up to level off. It's like breathing. We can only inhale so much without exhaling. Expecting perfection guarantees disappointment. Expecting non-stop improvement invites burn-out. Let's be reasonably demanding leaders with the accent on reasonable. I'll try. How about you? -- doug smith  

Do you say "yes" too quickly or maybe "no" with no conviction? What if you could change the outcome of a request? What if you could more clearly decide how to get more of what is best and less of the rest? What if you negotiate situations more often? If you don't negotiate it you'll never know how good it could be.  -- doug smith Bonus Tip: The best book I've read on negotiating is "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss. 

Be kind, even when it's hard. Even when the way escapes you at first. If you can't think of a fast way to be kind, a slow way will do just fine. The point is to act with kindness. -- doug smith  

Everything is work in progress. What will you improve today? -- doug smith  

It's tempting. It's right in front of you as a leader. Someone violates your trust, or misses a goal, or fails to respond to the promise of a reward, and the logical action seems to be to punish them in some way. Take away a perk. Deny a personal day off. Refuse a good assignment. Be careful. Every punishment brings about unexpected payback. Maybe it's immediate or maybe it comes months (even years!) down the road -- but payback is coming. It could be assertive, even aggressive -- or it could be so passive aggressive that you fail to see it coming. Oh, but it's coming. You may not like that payback. You may want to consider another path. What do you think? -- doug smith 

My late friend and fraternity brother, Jim Aker, a man of serious intellect and even more serious opinions, was an avid fisher. One time in Colorado, he was fishing with a mutual friend and confounded her with the concept of "catch and release." "If you catch it after all this work, shouldn't you keep it?" she asked. Jim just smiled. Nah, he probably had a lot to say about it. Achieving your goals is not fishing, and it certainly is not "catch and release" fishing but let's face it, sometimes you have to let go of a goal that's getting you nowhere. Pretending a goal matters is ending any chance that you'll achieve it. Make the goal important enough that you will apply the discipline you'll need to achieve it -- or let it go. -- doug smith  

It hurts to feel that you're not good enough. Doubts creep in and sting with a discouraging pain. But what if there's another way to process it? Not good enough, as bad as it feels, is always true, isn't it? We can always be better. We should constantly improve. And sometimes, in that process, we can realize that good enough -- for now -- may be good enough. Until we make it better. Let's enjoy the moment, and breathe, and then focus on making it better. -- doug smith  

Your best chance for success is to do what you do best. -- doug smith  

Sometimes a normally great performers gets in a slump, like an athlete who can't find their flow. Whatever the job, it's possible to get in your flow and it's possible to fall out of your flow. The flow is the place where you do your best work, where the conditions that create your own personal space for success propel your performance forward. When our team members fall out of their flow (maybe they've got an emotional challenge, maybe their favorite piece of equipment is malfunctioning, maybe more problems than usual are bombarding them...) we can help.  By coaching constantly we can recognize each team member's flow AND recognize when they are out of their strength and into trouble.  Coaches don't fix people but they can help them find their flow. Who needs your help at finding their flow? What feedback can you share that will help them get it back? -- doug smith  More On Flow Distinctive to each person, although you may observe similarities Requires the righ...

Find your flow -- the conditions and mood when you are at your absolute best, and you've found ultimate control.  Your flow could change. You will continue to learn and to grow. Why not accelerate that learning? Start where you already flow, and go! -- doug smith

There's more to the score than winning. There is discovering, and perhaps proving your potential.  There is  making adjustments and pivoting. And, maybe most of all, there is learning. Keep score when it's required. But use the score, don't let the score use you. -- doug smith

Do you keep score on yourself?  When you set a goal, do you record your progress? How do you know when you're doing a great job? Track your results if you want to improve them. It works. -- doug smity  

How much do you practice the skill that is most important to your success? We do best what we do most. Practice. It's the best way (maybe the only way) to get better. You name the skill -- communication, leadership, problem solving, managing conflict, playing music, running, swimming, singing, dancing, acting...practice is the key. -- doug smith 

Things work out when we work out -- exercise every gift you've got.  Here are three gifts we could do more of and be better off for doing it: Listen, Love, and Learn. Listen more to what people say. Listen more to hear real meaning, real life, real emotions. Love more as a first reaction, even when it's rough. Love our work more, love our family more, love our chances to love even more. And, Learn more each day on how to be better. Better leaders, better people, better communicators. What do you think? -- doug smith  

How creative are you? How about your team. One of the best, most useful skills that I ever studied is improv. Well known as a method of live theater and comedy, improv also serves in navigating business and life. It builds resilience. It helps you think on your feet. It makes you fearless under stress (well, almost fearless...) When we learn to improvise we dramatically increase and improve our possibilities -- not just in improv, but also in everything we do. -- doug smith NOTES: Pictured: Child's Play Touring Theatre, with Doug (as the rooster) Victor Podagrosi (as the Chicken Farmer), June Podagrosi (as the chicken) and Martha Murphy-Smith. We had lots of fun and certainly made good use of our improv skills, performing stories, plays and poems by children.

  We all make mistakes. If we take the time to reflect on what happened and what we would do the next time a similar situation occurs we can build on our reserve of wisdom. It's not the only way, but it helps. We also build wisdom by continuing to learn, by reading long works (not just social postings), and thru deep, vulnerable conversations.  We cannot perfect the past but we can paint a better future.  Wisdom won't wipe out what came before, but it will provide a way to endure. What is your favorite way to build more wisdom? -- doug smith

  How important are your expectations to you? Have you adjusted them lately? Or, have they been adjusted FOR you? It's important to know what we expect and manage what we expect. Too much, and you'll disappoint yourself. Too little, and you could under-perform. We control our expectations. And, we also adjust those expectations.  Problems have a way of recalibrating our expectations. it could take longer to reach our goal. It might be impossible to reach our goal. Until we solve the problem, our expectations could stall. Life, and work, is filled with unexpected adjustments. What did you expect? -- doug smith

Maybe it's not a paradox. Maybe it just feels counter-intuitive. Still, it seems to be true: To get more done, practice creating times when you get nothing done. Schedule down-town. Focus on not focusing. Let your mind wander and explore. Creative artists know that this works. It might feel disorienting at first, yet it does work. To get more done, sometimes you've got to do less. -- doug smith  

It's a challenge to constantly strive for improvement. With an ever-raising bar there's no sense of accomplishment because we're waiting for the next improvement. Push, push, push! It may not be a science, but it sure is an art to be able to balance yourself and accept what is while working to level up more. Of course it can improve. Nothing is perfect. We are as leaders all about continuous improvement. Let's just remember to appreciate what we have already earned, what our teams have already accomplished. Imagine better, but appreciate what is. Your happy place is dynamic. -- doug smith  

This might sound like a paradox, or a riddle, at first. I think of it as a koan.  It can be hard to be honest with yourself but it's the only way to the truth. Like it or not (and sometimes I do not like it) if we are honest with ourselves we can see our tender little fragile assumptions. If we're brutally honest with ourselves we can taste the vinegar in our lies. When we insist on exploring the truth before declaring the truth we have a much better chance of finding the truth. What do you think? -- doug smith