doug smith training

Do you keep score on yourself?  When you set a goal, do you record your progress? How do you know when you're doing a great job? Track your results if you want to improve them. It works. -- doug smity  

Have you ever pushed a car in order to get it started? Back in the day, that was a regular occurrence, especially when I drove old beater-type cars.  I had a volkswagen van once that I had to park on a hill so that it would be easy enough to start in the morning -- giving it a push downhill is so much easier. It's always harder to put a standing object in motion. Even as leaders we can get stuck and find it hard to start. Push. Give yourself a boost. Make that push to get started and momentum will be your friend. Once you're moving the rest is much, much easier. -- doug smith  

Conflict is not always bad. Sometimes it is necessary. We do get to choose how we approach it. Do we treat the opposition respectfully? Do we include dignity and opportunity as we negotiate? Even when we are uncomfortable with conflict (which is most of the time for many of us) it is only thru conflict that we can resolve issues of inequity. Peace is an excellent first choice, but not always available. Completely avoiding conflict could lead to complete surrender. Don't surrender. Negotiate. -- doug smith 

  Find the story and you can find the meaning. Find the meaning and the work gets easier. What's your story? -- doug smith

  Do you have any promises with yourself? Maybe a promise about a goal?  Sometimes I have let go of a promise and then picked it up again much later. If it ever appealed to me, there's probably still some energy there. How about you? Keep the promises alive by making progress every day. I'm working on it. How about you? -- doug smith

An outlandish, moon-shot goal means the most when it leads to dozens of small achievable goals. -- doug smith  

  A proper goal prevents wasted time. We don't have time to pursue meaningless goals. What matters most needs most of our time. Take a look at your list of goals. Prioritize the top three. The rest will matter most when the top three are done. -- doug smith

What we are grateful for stays, what we take for granted goes away. What are you grateful for today? If the list is long, there's something also to be grateful for. If the list is short, consider it more. Gratitude blesses our blessings and keeps them flowing. -- doug smith  

Ever have any days of low self-esteem? Times when your opinion of yourself was less than positive? I sure have. I don't mean a healthy amount of skeptical inquiry or proof seeking thoughts -- I mean low self-esteem that can ruin a day. Let's get out of that business! Instead, let's lift our days forward with optimism. We can be positive without being Pollyanna.  You matter! You belong! You rock! You wouldn't be you without you. Do you see how important you are? -- doug smith  

It is a question of baseline or the place that you begin. From your baseline you can decide and even balance what you think next which leads to what you do next. We all begin with some baseline. Where is your baseline? Do you begin by thinking positive, negative, or neutral when you encounter something or someone new? When the choice of interpretation is up to me, I pick positive. It's a personally positive prerogative, and enhances my chances of enjoying the ride. It's up to you? Where do you want to go? -- doug smith  

How much do you practice the skill that is most important to your success? We do best what we do most. Practice. It's the best way (maybe the only way) to get better. You name the skill -- communication, leadership, problem solving, managing conflict, playing music, running, swimming, singing, dancing, acting...practice is the key. -- doug smith 

Can you tell a hard truth and still be polite? Absolutely! We can disagree with respect. We can remain civil. We can demonstrate professionalism even under pressure. Nothing should ever prevent a true professional from being polite. -- doug smith  

Things work out when we work out -- exercise every gift you've got.  Here are three gifts we could do more of and be better off for doing it: Listen, Love, and Learn. Listen more to what people say. Listen more to hear real meaning, real life, real emotions. Love more as a first reaction, even when it's rough. Love our work more, love our family more, love our chances to love even more. And, Learn more each day on how to be better. Better leaders, better people, better communicators. What do you think? -- doug smith  

  Have you ever had a customer who you just could not please? Whether the demands are too great or the attitude is too tight, something just isn't right. The best we can do is the best we can do. Certainly, do no less, but sometimes we can not do more. Anyone who expects you to destroy yourself by serving them needs more help than you can offer. -- doug smith

Whether you serve out of humility, or duty, or trust, or dedication, or compassion, or pay -- your service will also serve you.  Start by serving others and the benefits to you become unlimited. -- doug smith

It's important to provide the best possible service to our customers. If that takes extra effort, it's well worth it in the good will that develops. If the customer feels good about the service, the organization is much more likely to prosper. And -- even better -- when your customers are happy it makes it easier for you to be happy, too. Service to others serves us the best. -- doug smith  

It's easier to face the future if you embrace the present with a smile. "Is that your answer to everything? Smile?" "Nah -- but it serves me better than frowning." "What if you don't know whether to smile or cry?" "Even a curious smile is better than no smile at all...smile? Yes!"  The more you make yourself smile, the more you will need to because there will be more to smile about -- smiles will start coming more often on their own. People will smile back. The smiles will multiply. It's harder to be mad at someone who likes you enough to smile for you, to smile toward you, to smile with you. Smile! -- doug smith

For a long time now, for many products, it's been a race to the bottom. Offer the basic thing at the lowest price and capture as much market share as you can. As customers, we've gone along with this because we do love low prices. And, it's deceptive because it feels as if many things CAN costs less without sacrificing quality. Cheap TVs are still good. Even cheap cars are better than cars of yesteryear.  But it doesn't hold up for everything -- especially anything involving human interaction, and anything involving customer service. When we reduce staffing to the bare minimums and when we allow robots to answer our questions we are pushing the quality down. Sometimes, better service and higher quality products simply cost more to produce. If we allow the lowest price items to prevail on everything, everything will end up lower in quality.  If we keep rewarding the cheapest price we'll keep creating the cheapest life.  I don't think that's what we want. How

If the rules are not fair for everyone, they will be broken. You shouldn't be surprised, though -- you should make the rules fair. -- doug smith  

  When you catch someone in a lie, how quickly do you trust them again? What if they'd lied to you before, maybe even many times? How much would you trust them then? Trust requires truth. To be trusted you must tell the truth. Not everyone will comply, but if you do -- if you always tell the truth -- you will be greatly trusted. -- doug smith

It's frustrating to solve a problem only to have it re-appear. And, even if it doesn't re-appear it seems like another problem quickly pops up. Problems don't stay solved so we must keep solving. And so...keep solving. -- doug smith  

How creative are you? How about your team. One of the best, most useful skills that I ever studied is improv. Well known as a method of live theater and comedy, improv also serves in navigating business and life. It builds resilience. It helps you think on your feet. It makes you fearless under stress (well, almost fearless...) When we learn to improvise we dramatically increase and improve our possibilities -- not just in improv, but also in everything we do. -- doug smith NOTES: Pictured: Child's Play Touring Theatre, with Doug (as the rooster) Victor Podagrosi (as the Chicken Farmer), June Podagrosi (as the chicken) and Martha Murphy-Smith. We had lots of fun and certainly made good use of our improv skills, performing stories, plays and poems by children.

Have you ever known anyone who seems to need rescuing over and over? One crisis after another, one stumble repeatedly, and no means of pulling themselves together? It is so tempting to always play the role of hero for those who have the ability to rescue. Given the right circumstances it makes total sense: why would you allow someone to suffer if you can help? But, isn't it also a balance? Aren't there times when you have to let someone feel the consequences of their own actions or neglect in order for them to learn a better way? Not to make them suffer, but to make them pay attention. Sometimes the best help is no help at all. Not always. Sometimes. -- doug smith  

A seemingly random solution to a problem is still a solution. -- doug smith

High performance leaders must do two things extremely skillfully: 1. Support your people 2. Challenge your people One great way to support your people is to appreciate them. Say thank you often and very specifically. Thank then for exactly what they did and why it's helpful. For example: "Thanks for getting your report in a day early! That gives me more time to digest the data and less time to worry about getting it on time!" "Thank you so much for listening respectfully even though I could tell you disagreed. When we're able to talk like this it's much more likely that we'll come up with great ideas and solutions to problems." "I appreciate the way you follow-up a good question with a clarifying response. That way we both understand what we're saying!" It takes practice. It might feel awkward at first. But here's something that I say every day because it's true: what gets appreciated gets repeated. If you like something, apprec

  We all make mistakes. If we take the time to reflect on what happened and what we would do the next time a similar situation occurs we can build on our reserve of wisdom. It's not the only way, but it helps. We also build wisdom by continuing to learn, by reading long works (not just social postings), and thru deep, vulnerable conversations.  We cannot perfect the past but we can paint a better future.  Wisdom won't wipe out what came before, but it will provide a way to endure. What is your favorite way to build more wisdom? -- doug smith

The struggle never ends, nor is it meant to. Signs of a struggle offer opportunities to grow. When it's right in front of you it's time to stand tall and muscle up. You have what you need. You know what to do. You've got this. -- doug smith  

It might feel like our youth abandons us, but it's always available within us. Ask questions. Try new things. Meet new people and make new friends. That field of work is also a field of play. Stay young. -- doug smith 

Your purpose, your vision, your mission matters. With all of the hard work ahead, make it worth the effort. Figure out your mission and suddenly everything makes sense. -- doug smith  

  "I don't know..." "What don't you know?" "If any of this makes sense..." "You doubt the merit of the work?" "The work, the mission, the whole thing..." Doubt is natural. It's part of any important mission. Without doubt, how can you be sure? But, doubt can be paralyzing and stop the work. Doubt can be self-fulfilling. If you are sure about your purpose, if you are sure about your mission, there is work to be done. Let doubt spark action instead of resistance.  -- doug smith

Have you thought about how many stories you add to your life? We are so interested in understanding the meaning of everything that if we can't easily find the meaning we simply make it up. We tell stories to explain what we believe, even if what we believe has zero evidence or proof. Ordinarily, that's annoying. When dealing with a problem, that's a disaster in motion. Things we do to expand that story include ascribing motives to people we believe are responsible. They include interpreting words and actions as malicious, when maybe they were simply capricious. They include telling tales of woe and victimhood that do not lead to sensible solutions. It's another problem within a problem. But we can choose. Be careful about adding a story to a problem that only makes the problem worse. You don't want to make the problem worse, do you? You want to solve it. If your story is not leading to a positive outcome, maybe just maybe the story is wrong. -- doug smith

There's a secret way to stretch your time. Well, it's not that BIG of a secret, and some people might disagree, but if it works for you, wouldn't you make use of it. Here it is: Fill your time with joy and you find you have more time. More time, better time, easier time, wonderful time. It's just a feeling, of course, because as far as we know we all have equal amounts of time -- from moment to moment. Creating great moments though last and so, tada! you find you have more time. It's worth a try...even if you don't end up with more time, you do end up with more joy. -- doug smith  

  We lead the way we communicate. It's hard to tell one from the other. The way you communicate defines your style. The way you communicate determines whether people will be influenced by you or if they will resist you. There isn't any separating the development of leadership from improving communication. You need them both. Think of all of your leadership opportunities: conversations, meetings, presentations, rallies, speeches, huddles, feedback, evaluations...all of it centered on how you communicate. If you want to be a great high performance leader, it starts with effective communication. -- doug smith

We are constantly developing leadership -- the work is never done. New challenges, new people, new goals. That includes how we lead and who we develop as current and future leaders. Developing leadership is a constant. What's your plan? -- doug smith 

Sometimes goals get too big to get done. They sound great, we care deeply about them, but then they just stand there staring at us as we stare back. They don't get done. If I want to get a big goal going, I need to break it down into smaller pieces, what Jack Canfield calls "bite-sized pieces." Write down all of the little tasks that it will take to achieve that big goal, and then tackle those little pieces one by one.  You may not finish the goal in one day and you probably don't need to. But by breaking it down into easier tasks you'll create momentum and put yourself on the path to achieving your goal. And isn't that exactly what you want? -- doug smith

Too much drama at work? The answer is almost always "YES!"  Difficult behaviors, difficult people, conflict after conflict can cause us aggravation. What's worse is when drama is piled on top of the conflict, and it almost always is. "There's so wrong!" "She's so difficult!" "He went behind my back!" "This would be a nice place to work if it wasn't for..." You get the idea and you no doubt feel the drama. We are constantly trained to be dramatic to get what we want, to respond when we don't get what we want, or to simply get attention. It's on TV. It's in literature. It's in the movies. It's even on youtube. Drama, drama, everywhere. It's natural that we'd come to think that drama is natural. Even if it is, it is still a choice. Do you want to make something dramatic, or do you want to dial it down? Do you want to remain centered and calm, or do you want to bathe yourself and others in drama?

Problems have a way of recalibrating our expectations. -- doug smith

  How important are your expectations to you? Have you adjusted them lately? Or, have they been adjusted FOR you? It's important to know what we expect and manage what we expect. Too much, and you'll disappoint yourself. Too little, and you could under-perform. We control our expectations. And, we also adjust those expectations.  Problems have a way of recalibrating our expectations. it could take longer to reach our goal. It might be impossible to reach our goal. Until we solve the problem, our expectations could stall. Life, and work, is filled with unexpected adjustments. What did you expect? -- doug smith

Managing what we control is important, even as what we control is less than what we'd like it to be. But, since our thoughts are on the list of what we control, why not control our thoughts in ways that manage our actions, our words, and our emotions? Hope is a choice. We can think about hope in ways that are empowering. Not as some magic formula. More like a guiding direction. We can choose "I have hope for the future" and  "I have hope for the team" We can have hope for the resilience to figure out just enough to keep moving positively. Our hope is less in control and more in responsiveness. We hope knowing that whatever happens, we'll respond. And by exercising the control that we do have, we are much more likely to respond positively. At least,  that's how I feel this morning! -- doug smith  

  There are good times and there are bad times. You've had both. What if your best time is still ahead? Your happiest time is always still available.  It's something to look forward to, and something to create. -- doug smith

Centered leaders must skillfully deal with one paradox after another. Here's another one: Priorities determine time, and time determines priorities. If we don't make time for our priorities, time will decide for us what is most urgent, most pressing, most noisy and we'll end up working on something we did not plan on. But, if we schedule time based on our priorities, the paradox gives way to true prioritization. I didn't make this up -- I'm just working on doing it more consistently. How about you? -- doug smith 

Maybe it's not a paradox. Maybe it just feels counter-intuitive. Still, it seems to be true: To get more done, practice creating times when you get nothing done. Schedule down-town. Focus on not focusing. Let your mind wander and explore. Creative artists know that this works. It might feel disorienting at first, yet it does work. To get more done, sometimes you've got to do less. -- doug smith  

We are a bundle of emotions. When we're at work we might try to leave our emotions at home, but they will sneak in. Emotions are powerful. Emotions are influential.  Emotions can cause problems when people over-react, melt-down, freeze-up, or fight. We become so consumed that we over-simplify. Our demands increase, our effectiveness does not. Emotions seldom solve problems. Pay attention, but be careful about serving your emotions (or anyone else's).  -- doug smith  

It's a challenge to constantly strive for improvement. With an ever-raising bar there's no sense of accomplishment because we're waiting for the next improvement. Push, push, push! It may not be a science, but it sure is an art to be able to balance yourself and accept what is while working to level up more. Of course it can improve. Nothing is perfect. We are as leaders all about continuous improvement. Let's just remember to appreciate what we have already earned, what our teams have already accomplished. Imagine better, but appreciate what is. Your happy place is dynamic. -- doug smith  

How many eighty-hour work weeks do you put in? That's not meant to judge, but to ponder. I've put in plenty of eighty and more hour work weeks and while I don't regret any of them I know that they haven't all paid-off proportionately. It's possible to work so hard that you miss what's important. It's a frequent paradox that the longer one works the less productive they become. I've learned to tell myself: Take a break. Relax. Let it all come to you, flow thru you, and go on its merry way -- if only for a little while. Drink water, exercise, meditate, pray, and relax.  Healthy leaders build healthy teams. Take care of yourself. -- doug smith  

Now is the time. My mind does wander, and when it does I lose a sense of being in the moment. Oh, I'm sure the thoughts are important, and flying all over the place looking for the next brilliant idea. Being here right now though is better. Moments that we show up for will belong to us forever. So that they'll be there for us when, you know, we should be in THAT present moment. It's not a perfect science. It's not a perfect world. Some moments DO matter more than others. I'm working to live right here in this moment. How about you? -- doug smith  

Do the people on your team get enough appreciation? Are you sure? No one wants to be taken for granted. We all benefit from recognition and appreciation. Plus, when high performance leaders give out appreciation, they discover that not only does the person who is receiving the appreciation enjoy it, it's also enjoyable for the giver. It's free, and the results are wonderful. Appreciation brings its own reward. -- doug smith

Do you share any fish stories? You know the idea, the fish you caught gets bigger every time you tell about it. I do not fish but I'm sure I've told some whopper fish stories.  Even though we cannot perfect the past, we sure do try. Intentionally and unintentionally, details change. We remember things differently. We remember the last time we remembered. The original phenomenon swims in a river that no longer exists. Our story is different every time we tell it. We don't need to change that, but we should definitely be aware of it. -- doug smith P.S. Is today's truth better than yesterday's truth? Let's just not lie about it... 

  One of my friends has a favorite expression for when she's ready to stop talking about something -- "Moving on!" It can be frustrating to hear that when you want to keep talking, and yet profoundly useful, too. We could keep getting upset about something we can't (or are unwilling to) change. Or we can move on. Maybe that's true about our mistakes, too. There were too many mistakes in the past to carry them all into the future. Let's move on. -- doug smith

There have been times when I was teaching a program called "Communicating With Tact and Diplomacy" when one or more of the participants would tell me "this is my last chance -- HR sent me here to fix me or I'm gone..." How's that for a challenge? Get fixed or get gone. I very often tell people that I can't fix anyone because people are not broken in places I know how to fix. But, that's not a great thing to say to someone who has their working life on the line. It might sound diplomatic, but it is not helpful, and maybe not entirely true. Entirely true? What even does that mean? Isn't something true or NOT? The point is, we do not need to fix anyone in order to help them fix the way they perform. In my classes I do sometimes help people become more diplomatic -- but that is a start, not an end destination. There is something better than diplomacy and that is compassionate truth. It's harder, it takes more time, it's often easily misunders

It's easy to "major in the minors..." or focus so much on small details that we miss the big goal. I've done it. Chances are that you have, too. Events wash us forward and we get "lost in the trees." Here's what I tell myself when that starts to happen, "Don't let little goals get in the way of big goals." It's another note to self, but you're free to benefit from it, too... -- doug smith  

This might sound like a paradox, or a riddle, at first. I think of it as a koan.  It can be hard to be honest with yourself but it's the only way to the truth. Like it or not (and sometimes I do not like it) if we are honest with ourselves we can see our tender little fragile assumptions. If we're brutally honest with ourselves we can taste the vinegar in our lies. When we insist on exploring the truth before declaring the truth we have a much better chance of finding the truth. What do you think? -- doug smith

  Leaders, when they are smart, develop their strengths. Wherever you begin, you can always develop more courage, clarity, creativity, and compassion as strengths. However strong you get, you can always get stronger. Strong character recognizes its own imperfection. Humility is a strength, too. -- doug smith

Have you ever noticed that once you've achieved a goal that you gain more than one outcome? You gain what you set out to achieve, which is wonderful, AND you often gain a deeper, stronger, more collaborative relationship with at least one other person. When it takes more than one person to achieve a goal, you gain that extra closeness with someone that is hard to get any other way. Some goals wouldn't be worth achieving except for the relationships that they build -- and that makes them well worth achieving. -- doug smith

Ahead of every goal is a problem, and within every problem is a goal. -- doug smith

We all know the temptation to cut corners, skirt rules, and dance along the line of cheating. But, whatever it takes, however hard it is, it is best to play fair.  When the truth discovers you, let it be a truth worth sharing. Play fair. It does take extra work. It's easy to find people who do not play fair and who seem to be getting ahead. That's not for you. It's much better to feel the complete satisfaction of leading with integrity. If you game the system you ultimately game yourself. Play fair. -- doug smith