doug smith training

Be kind, even when it's hard. Even when the way escapes you at first. If you can't think of a fast way to be kind, a slow way will do just fine. The point is to act with kindness. -- doug smith  

Are you gifted with sarcasm? Many people are. What's the harm, right? A little jokey joke here and there, just kidding, no big deal... What if it is a big deal? What if people misinterpret your jokey joke as a raging insult. Do you think it's possible that within every sarcastic comment there is a kernel of truth? That kernel of truth, once exposed, could lead to a productive and deep discussion of major issues -- or it could lead to the deterioration of a relationship. I leave it to you to decide which you think is more likely. Whenever possible (and...I think that is always...) I like to embrace humor while eschewing sarcasm. Why be bitter or biting when there are so many other ways to laugh? Kindness costs nothing while sarcasm leaves scars. Let's stay kind. -- doug smith

Communicating effectively includes talking about the tough stuff. We might even appear confrontational when we oppose with strength and courage. We can disagree and keep talking. As long as we listen and keep an open mind, we can influence best when we are open to being influenced. Part of that is speaking, and listening, with respect and kindness. Creating, and preserving a sense of dignity.  When we cana talk about it with respect and kindness we can talk about anything. Seems like a good place to start. -- doug smith  

Kindness may come at a cost, but that cost is covered by an endless, limitless currency. There is no limit to love. -- doug smith

Have you known any leaders who let power go to their heads? Some people, once they gain leadership responsibility, allow their self-image and self-interests to take on outrageous proportions. But, leadership is not about selfishness. There is a major difference between healthy self-image and limitless self-interest. High performance leaders care about other people. The results are important, and so are the people. To get there, to take care of people to such a degree that they of course work hard to achieve the desired results, a leader must control that ego. A leader must be humble. You'll know when you are practicing humility: you'll be curious. You'll be patient. You'll be kind. If you're doing all that already, excellent and please continue. If you're not, the opportunity is there. True influence and power requires humility. Humility is an early sign of understanding, and it's in the understanding that we begin to agree, to change, to grow, and ...

Do people need to earn your respect? Some people do believe that it is necessary to prove yourself worthy of respect before someone should grant you respect. What's the problem with that? When we put ourselves into the position of judge we also open the door wider to being judged. Can people tell when you respect them?  Undoubtably. We seem to have an inner radar that differentiates respect from disrespect -- or worse, disregard. We can tell, and we care. Deeply. Whatever a person has done in the past that we might question, it is still possible to treat them with respect. Kindness, compassion, even love know no limits. Respecting someone does not mean that you agree with everything that they've ever done -- or even with what they are  doing or saying right now. Respect means that you treat them with human dignity, fairness, compassion, and honor. I know that it can be tough to show respect in the heat of an argument or when someone is not acting in a likable mann...

"What do you mean, it isn't true?" "It isn't yet at its best until it's kind." "But, it can still be true..." "Is incomplete still true? Is it still true if it does not return the best possible result?" "It's the results that I want, I'm just in a hurry. I don't have time to be kind!" "Maybe. But also, maybe you don't have time NOT to be kind. Think of the reactions. Think of the changes. Think about whether someone feels resentment instead of contentment. No matter how well you say it, won't it sound better with kindness?" -- doug smith