doug smith training

What should we do with bad rules? If you added up all of the rules you are subject to during your life they would likely fill a three-hundred page book (and that's NOT counting the Apple User Agreement...) If we distilled all of those rules down to the really necessary ones, you could fit them all on one page. But instead, we face volumes and volumes of rules written by other people who have only THEIR interests in mind, who do not consult us on our preferences, and who expect to enforce those rules as if they were the Ten Commandments. What do you think of that? The other day an organization that was interested in influencing me listed a set of rules so arcane, so arduous, and so mean that I couldn't even READ them all (without gagging) much less agree to them. Where does that arrogance come from? What makes people think that other people will adhere to such one-sided rules? Doesn't that make it harder to defend the rules that DO make sense? If we confront people with enou

Leaders get stuff done through other people. We establish visions, follow our mission, and set goals. Goals are a way to remind ourself to get stuff done, but it's the work that you do that gets stuff done. Do the work. -- doug smith  

Change, change, change. We break things apart. We tear down walls and build new ones. We erase boundaries and discover traps underneath. Change is hard enough, and so we make it fast. We accelerate. Go, go, go! Behind us, structures and visions and experiences so easily forgotten that they fail to lead us on. Do we dare forget? Would we be better served to honor what went before as we forge our way ahead? Remember, that the wisdom of the past may be filled with flaws, but there's also much relevant truth. Study what is true, because it matters to you. -- doug smith  

What if you declared yourself a leader but nobody followed you? It's not automatic. Even when it is your job title, in the end people decide whether or not they will follow you. I've done my best whenever I'm in a leadership position to create an environment of shared leadership. I'd rather facilitate success than drag everyone there. Still, not everyone responds the way you'd expect. Ever have someone resist following you? Ever have someone act in an insubordinate way publicly? Even escalating the energy might not work if they refuse to follow. It is a fair question to ask someone if they will follow you.  They could say "no" and if they do, maybe one of you is in the right place -- or maybe you've just got some more influencing and sharing to do. But, they can't say "no" forever, can they?  Check the rest of the team. Are you, as a team, moving forward the way you planned? Are you achieving your goals? Are you leading, in whatever your

Is there something important that you need to say to someone you're not getting along with at the moment? Are you reporting a problem to people in your organization? Is that conversation difficult, controversial, or problematic? Say it with respect and kindness or keep it to yourself. -- doug smith 

Do you ever catch yourself relying on old tools? We've all got those tools that just seem to fit comfortably into situations that we feel the need to fix. Stock quotes, favorite lines, basic interventions, templates left from some long ago project... It's not that they won't work (sometimes they do!) or that we should abandon them forever. Instead, it's a matter of branching out, dancing faster, jumping into new waves of motion. Learn how to use new tools, give the old ones a rest, and see how much more useful your whole set of tools becomes.  I'll try that -- how about you? -- doug smith

If you've attended any of my events on communication or leadership, you know that I believe that curiosity is powerful. It is more powerful than many alternatives. Curiosity is more powerful than rhetoric, dogma, or unquestioned truth. Curiosity is more powerful than judgement, or data, or drama.  Stay curious, and see how powerful it is! -- doug smith  

Life is simpler when you follow a clearly prescribed set of ethics and base every decision on it. Or, at least how it feels at first. It's not so simple after all. We are frequently faced with ethical decisions that require either an iron-clad adherence to a principle that will result in an outcome we do not want, or exercising some flexibility in our choice which then risks throwing the entire value out. It is complicated. It requires learning. It requires sophistication not easily developed.  The trouble with unbreakable codes is that they will eventually break you. The trouble with situational ethics is that it might not regard your situation very highly at all. It takes work. It takes clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion in balance to know what is right. And, it takes the patience to realize that after that balance is measured carefully and applied we will still make mistakes. Love first, and step lightly around the rest. -- doug smith  

Communicating effectively includes talking about the tough stuff. We might even appear confrontational when we oppose with strength and courage. We can disagree and keep talking. As long as we listen and keep an open mind, we can influence best when we are open to being influenced. Part of that is speaking, and listening, with respect and kindness. Creating, and preserving a sense of dignity.  When we cana talk about it with respect and kindness we can talk about anything. Seems like a good place to start. -- doug smith  

How often is your truth tested? How often do people check to make sure that everything you've communicated to them is true? When it comes to your team, the answer is every day. High performance leaders can not stand to slip and deceive anyone on the team because it is sure to be caught. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe some time down the road, but it will surely be caught and when it is, the team becomes a bit less effective Every day your truth is tested so you might as well make it true. If you're going to be tested, you might as well test true.  -- doug smith  

If you've ever had a boss say something mean to you, it's likely that you still remember it vividly. You probably won't ever forget it. Leaders do need to provide feedback and much of that feedback may be constructive -- coaching involves helping others improve their skills in order to achieve their goals -- but that constructive feedback can, and should, be delivered in a positive, dignified way. Not mean. Not nasty. Not insulting. Words meant to hurt are better left unsaid. -- doug smith

Circumstances influence how we act. While we all do have limitations, we can all also exceed and overcome many of those limitations. To be honest, we can all be amazing when we need to be. Whatever is going on, that capacity, that ability awaits. Push that button. Ignite that fire. Step on the gas. We can be amazing when we don't have any other choice. Remove the other choices because they are not for you. Instead: be amazing! -- doug smith    

Do you remember your last wrong decision? It probably felt right at the time. Surely, the logic that you used was precise and strong. But, still it didn't turn out the way that you'd prefer. Leaders benefit from multiple opinions and varied views. We can get so locked into a decision that we forget to truly test it. Are we getting carried away? Have we forgotten about hidden bias? Is it just too emotional a reaction to the situation? The trouble with a gut reaction is that it often eventually makes you sick. Instincts often stink. We need reminders, we need calibrators, we need alternatives. Our own memories are so flawed that they are hardly trustworthy. Test those assumptions, validate those memories, get the help that you need. -- doug smith

High performance leaders know that any initiative takes both logic and emotion, but which comes first? Which will get you moving, and which will keep you on course? Knowing that you can't live without either one, it's useful to organize the team in ways that optimize your chances of success. Logic usually waits for emotions to express themselves before anyone cares about logic.  Tune up your team's emotions, or the logic will fall flat.  -- doug smith

Leadership is a climb. To make that climb, sometimes we need to clear the path. Sometimes, we need to build the bridge. Always, we need to work well with others. When resistance gets in the way of a noble cause, high performance leaders push on. They act, they show resolve, they mobilize with unrelenting energy. That takes guts. That takes courage. Courage may not always provide answers but it certainly does empower them. Get the answers you need, but by all means lead. -- doug smith  

When it comes to problem solving, when it comes to change, when it comes to leadership -- agreement is what propels you forward. Reach agreement on the motivation for your initiative and the rest is scalable details. -- doug smith

High performance leaders ask many questions before giving any answers. When in doubt, ask first. -- doug smith  

Have you ever had a great thought that somehow escaped you and never found any traction? It's common for me to think I have a great idea (thinking about the thinking!) and then just letting is fade away like some mist on a foggy day. Where's the motion? Where's the action? Philosophy has to move from the head to the hands to do any good. Do you have commitments? Great! What are you doing about them? -- doug smith  

Have you ever had a leader who felt the need to let you know how stressed they were? "There's all this pressure on financials..." or "it's not easy being in charge..." or "I need you to consider my needs, too..." and so on. Leadership comes with stress. Leaders need to rise above the safe levels of just letting things roll around you. Stepping up comes at a cost of uncertainty. What if that's not a bad thing, but rather a stimulating thing? Your stress ins not your team's problem. They've got stressors and problems of their own. They'll do their best until they learn a better way to do it. They've got time to improve. What they don't have is time to fix your stress. You know who IS in charge of your stress? Of course you do. That's you. -- doug smith

Dear Leaders everywhere: Results matter! Of course. We all know that. Let's remember this, please: People matter more. -- doug smith