Hard Truths Anyway

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There have been times when I was teaching a program called "Communicating With Tact and Diplomacy" when one or more of the participants would tell me "this is my last chance -- HR sent me here to fix me or I'm gone..."

How's that for a challenge? Get fixed or get gone. I very often tell people that I can't fix anyone because people are not broken in places I know how to fix. But, that's not a great thing to say to someone who has their working life on the line. It might sound diplomatic, but it is not helpful, and maybe not entirely true.

Entirely true? What even does that mean? Isn't something true or NOT?

The point is, we do not need to fix anyone in order to help them fix the way they perform.

In my classes I do sometimes help people become more diplomatic -- but that is a start, not an end destination. There is something better than diplomacy and that is compassionate truth. It's harder, it takes more time, it's often easily misunderstood, and it opens the door to conflict. It just happens to be more authentic and carry more integrity.

Here's why:

Diplomacy encourages lies. We soften the "truth" to make it tolerable. Isn't that a lie?

To be both diplomatic and truthful takes more work, ore rapport, more time, and deeper relationships. My favorite relationships are with those people who I am so comfortable with that we can tell each other the absolute truth without taking offense. We might not agree. We might verbally spar a bit. In the process we explore the truth before we declare the truth.

It's hard to tell the truth all of the time. And, if we don't have the foundation of a strong relationship to carry the truth, it could do hard, so diplomacy is sometimes necessary. It't just not the best end destination.

-- doug smith

Comments

Go Get It

It might seem that all you need to achieve that goal is a little help. A bit of a boost. Someone to provide feedback and encouragement. You're right. If all you need is a little help to achieve your goal, then definitely go get that help. The person who could help you really does want to help you. -- doug smith

Not Perfect?

Have you ever held onto a problem just because you couldn't find the perfect solution, an elegant, efficient, bruise-free choice? That effort -- for perfection -- has slowed me down a number of times. Perfection can be such a bother, because nothing is perfect in this life and never will be. There's no perfect way to solve a problem -- but you don't need perfection to solve it. If you can find the best way, that is certainly good enough. -- doug smith

Time and Feelings

Using time productively is of course important. Managing work and activities, reducing wasted time, optimizing performance, these all matter. And you know what else matters? How you feel about it. The time is yours. Even when other people make decisions about your time, your approach to what you do is always up to you. It's not just what you do with your time that matters, it's also how you feel about what you do with your time. What's your answer? -- doug smith

Time and Possibility

There was a time when time seemed to close in on me like a shrinking cell. I could hear the ticking like a serious soundtrack constantly reminding me that urgency had to rule or time would shrink away. But time doesn't shrink away. Time does not care what you do about it and if you hear ticking it's from a real clock, not your lost time. Time is not a ticking clock, it's a fluid sea of possibility. Find the wave and ride. Connect with your school of creatives and invent new boundaries. Swim and win. The possibilities are endless. And...so is time. -- doug smith

A Winning Game

It would be nice to win the game. But, do you ever feel like you're in a game that keeps shifting the rules and making it easy to make progress but impossible to win? You've probably noticed lots of game elements creeping into service. Points, incentives, expiring coupons followed by new expiring coupons, leader-boards...on an on a relentless attack on service comes from playing a game designed -- you guessed it -- to maximize profit. If the customer is happy, fine, but the point is to make money. Not to put too fine a point on it but that's a lousy point. What if there could be something better? What if customer service excellence became playing a game where the customer always wins and that makes you happy? You don't have to. "give away the store" to achieve a winning game for all of the players. Just stop stacking the rules against customers and watch how much more they will want to do business with you. -- doug smith

Good News, Bad News

The bad news is that you are the biggest thief of your time. The good news is that you can change that. We all waste time. We can all waste less. Productivity is a choice. -- doug smith

You've Got More

Do you know what is the best thing about potential? You've always got more. It's the same for capacity -- you can always dig deeper, extend farther, lift more. Think about some of the best things you've ever done. You're amazing, aren't you? There's more in the tank. There's great work ahead. The best you can do is better than you think it is. Won't it be fun when you discover that? -- doug smith

Enthusiastic Support

You can achieve many great goals on your own. Getting help from others will increase your successes. Why would anyone help you? Maybe if they owe you a favor, but much more likely it's when your goal ignites something in them. Lights up their enthusiasm. Makes them more motivated. A poorly written goals is easily ignored. A great goal, one that is clear, gains interest and support. Write a great goal and see what it attracts. Great goals gather enthusiastic support. -- doug smith

Details

"It's all in the details." "Measure twice, cut once." "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." "Get it right, get it right, get it right..." Details. As a front line leader it is ever so tempting to pour on the details until they completely cover every possible contingency. As a highly analytical person, I've given into that temptation many times. The risk to making instructions too detailed is that they will not be followed. That doesn't imply malice, it simple acknowledges that: our attention spans are short no process is perfect anyway action creates momentum That third one is key. Action creates momentum, so get moving. Correct as we proceed, but for heaven's sake, get moving. -- doug smith

The Goal Sequence

Every goal leads to another goal. If you've achieved your goal, the next goal gives you increased opportunity to grow. If you've missed your goal, the next goal gives you a chance to learn and correct. Nobody achieves all of their goals but every goal gives you something. Get that goal done and see what great goal comes next. -- doug smith

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