Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Tell Yourself the Truth

Do you ever lie to yourself?

Most of us do. Of all the lies we tell, we lie to ourselves the most. And for what? Toward what aim?

Lying to ourselves is fruitless. Lying to ourselves is damaging. Lying to ourselves is no way to achieve our goals or to communicate effectively.

Your truth will matter more to others when it matters more to yourself. Tell yourself the truth.

-- doug smith

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Monday, January 8, 2018

Truth or Lies?

quotes on truth and communication - doug smith

When was the last time that you were lied to? Maybe you know, and maybe you don't. It could depend on the lie. The person who lied to you could be so good at lying that you still don't know. Or, maybe they didn't even consider it to be a lie -- but it is.

Lies cause hardship and heartbreak. Lies damage relationships and distort results. And yet, we all lie.

Maybe because we don't realize the extent of the harm that lies cause. Destroyed trust, broken promises, unfair distribution of limited resources, lost opportunities...

If we knew -- really knew -- how harmful lies really are we might stop telling them.

You could stop today.

I could stop today.

Let's stop.

-- doug smith

Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. 
-- Don Miguel Ruiz

"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others."
-- Fyodor Dostoevski

Friday, January 5, 2018

Find a Better Way to Ask

Sometimes the answer is no, and we don't like the answer.  We could give up. Oh well. Or -- we could ask a different way. Maybe our expectations were not clear. Maybe our intensity was not clear.

Get clear. Stay persistent.

Not all the time -- it still makes sense to remain open, curious, and able to be influenced. But when you've got to have what you've got to have, and you are struggling to get it -- try a different way.

Some suggestions:

- find the value in what you want from the other person's point of view
- show how NOT getting what you want impacts the other person negatively
- ask in a different way
- add humor (gently)
- use analogies ("On a scale of 1 to 10, this is a solid 10 for me!)
- find the mutually beneficial outcome. It could be something different.

There are always more possibilities. How do you know there are still possibilities? If you haven't gotten something you like yet.

What ideas do you have?

--  doug smith