Turn That Feedback Upside Down

image: https://pixabay.com/photos/feedback-report-back-business-people-3653368/

Is feedback painful? Do you hate both giving AND receiving feedback?

Most people, in my experience, tend to avoid feedback because there is pain and even emotional trauma attached. Critical feedback hurts. Positive feedback, when it comes at all, isn't always enough to counter the trauma of the critical feedback.

We do need critical feedback. We need to be able to benefit from observations and experiences to improve our performance going forward. As leaders, we have a responsibility to provide our team members with both support and challenge. Feedback should be part of that challenge.

But it's not really "feedback" unless it's flipped upside down.

image: https://media.musiciansfriend.com/is/image/MMGS7/Vintage-1974-Fender-VIBROSONIC-Tube-Guitar-Combo-Amp/000000119462487-00-500x500.jpg

On my Fender amplifier, if I play my guitar too loud and too close to the speaker the sound feeds-back. I like that sound (it reminds me of Jimi Hendrix) but many people don't and it certainly would not fit in most worship services or orchestra pits. The feedback is essentially telling me to turn it down.

But I don't need (nor want) anyone else to tell me that. I can simply observe the noise and adjust the sound by taking action.

What if we thought of feedback (or advice) like that? What if we turned it upside down?

Most models of feedback recommend a process that starts with connection (good so far) and then as early as step two give your advice, state your data...something like that. To the person receiving the feedback, it's when you unload on them.

Ouch.

I've got a better way. Turn it upside down.

Agreement: connect and agree to share some observations about a recent performance.
Their observations: ask them first for their observations on the performance. What worked well for them? What, if anything, would they change next time?
Ask if they'd like to hear your observations. If they say "yes" then provide your observations. If they decline, explore their reluctance and look for an agreement for when would be a good time to share your observations.
Commitment: close on an agreement for what to expect in the future. What changes, if any, will be made? How important is the agreement? How committed are you both at supporting the change?

Here's the slide from one of my Feedback classes:

It's not the ONLY way to approach feedback. It IS one more thing to remember but it's easy enough: just reverse the order of the feedback. THEY go first, and THEN you go. Often, their self-evaluation will be far more critical than yours ever would have been and you can simply agree "what an accurate observation -- that's what I thought..."

Try it. See what difference it makes.

-- doug smith

Comments

Build and Connect

The world is full of "buts" in search of more "ands." In improv. In leadership. In life. Let go of the fear and build on what's here. -- doug smith

Better Traditions

It's easy to tear down the past and wreck the present. It does not take much thought to condemn what seems to be ill-suited for our present needs. We might even take glee in crushing part of our past. But before we do, we should ask a question or two. What if we improved our traditions instead of destroying them? What if that's a better solution? -- doug smith

Pause First

Falling behind might not mean catching up. It could also reveal change and opportunity. Would you rather chase, or lead? Has one moment or movement gone leaving room for something new? Don't let a treadmill turn into a dread mill. Haul that rock up the hill if it is part of your future, not just because it was part of your past. -- doug smith

Practice

If practice was easy we wouldn't need it. -- doug smith

Wrong Is Wrong

There may be more than one right way to do something but that does not make the wrong way right. -- doug smith

In Search of the right steps...

Three step processes. Four step processes. Seven step processes. Even more. A problem is a dynamic in search of a dance. Follow the science, of course, but also find the dance. -- doug smith

Speedy, Pause

Speed is great. It overcomes indifference, it outruns hesitation, it gets things started. It can also lead to mistakes. Sometimes a mistake comes from moving too fast. Pause. Practice patiently to filter out the flaws. -- doug smith

Found

Everyone wants to do meaningful work. Work of value. Work that matters. Work that uses your skills, your gifts, your best intentions. Is that hard to find? Does it require a massive search? Embrace the search for meaningful work but remember that it is right in front of you. -- doug smith

Be Careful of Your Measures

Peter Drucker once said "what gets measured gets done" and there is much truth to that. Point people in the direction you want and they will do their best to get there. Just make sure, very sure, that you are measure what you really want and doing it without creating paths to cheating your way there. Given an incentive, people will find a way to achieve it. Most will work fairly but some will be tempted to game the. system, to stack the deck, to churn the number on their own behalf. That's not what you want. Ask yourself this question: how can we measure quantity and quality without gaming the system? Until you've answered that question, you'll never know how accurate, or useful, the measure is. -- doug smith

Too Much?

Don't we all just love information? We love to stay informed. We need to keep up. We believe that our people and our customers need the same. But is there such a thing as too much? How many emails do you get each day that you never read? How many reports do you just scan or skip over entirely? Yes, we need to keep up. Yes, we need the data. Too much information ends up about as useful as too little information. High performance leaders find the balance. -- doug smith

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