Building Your Team: Start One on One

Find out what your team means to each team member and then build from there.

-- doug smith

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Co-discovery

How are you at discovering things with other people? As much as I do enjoy working alone, exploring, doing lots of discovery, I also find that it is absolutely amazing to be able to co-discover with other people. New things emerge. Synthesis arises. Jam sessions abound. When we work together we discover worlds beyond our lonely grasp. We discover what's right. -- doug smith

Feedback is Fuel

Have you ever avoided feedback? Do you know anyone who avoids feedback? Even when we know we benefit from feedback, we'll do our best to avoid that feedback if it hurts. Unkind critical feedback stings so much that we pull away. As leaders, we can fix that. Take the sting out. Make feedback feel useful and kind. Not by coddling or being polly-annish. Not by being toxically positive. By being accurate, unemotional, and kind. By listening first and sharing feedback second. Lower the temperature, raise the compassion, increase the frequency, and develop a team with a culture of sharing observations and eventually people will embrace the feedback instead of avoiding it. Feedback is fuel for growth. Feedback is best built with trust. -- doug smith

Solution Resistance

Why would anyone resist solving a problem? As frustrating as that feels, there must be a reason. Even when it is counter-productive. Even when it makes no sense at all -- people will stay stuck in their problems and avoid anything that resembles a solution. Maybe they're sure it will work out on its own (it won't). Or, maybe in a tough case they unknowingly are addicted to their pain, that cycle of bringing up what hurts even though it hurts and eventually even because it hurts. It's familiar. The chemicals do their dance of doom and the darkness feels almost comforting. I'm familiar with that pattern, that rut, that doom. It wasn't judgment that pulled me out. It wasn't force. It wasn't even an intervention. It was slow, steady, patient, loving conversations. Talk about it. Listen. Empathize. Some people won't want you to solve a problem. It's worth finding out why. Just imagine the possibilities! -- doug smith P.S. I'm not a therapist (altho...

Be Fair

If you are a parent, or remember when you were a child, you've heard this many times: "It's not fair!" Probably spoken with a massive degree of indignation. There is something absolutely offensive about encountering unfairness. Injustice. If it is not fair it is not right. You know how it feels and you know it shouldn't be that way. That's one of the things that makes leadership so important. Making fair choices. Treating people with respect. Moving toward your goals without taking advantage of other people. It takes character and strength and resolve. Life may not be far, but as a leader you can be. Let's be fair. -- doug smith

Set Your Intentions

We grow in the direction of our intensions -- so set your intentions clearly and positively. I can't think of a better alternative, how about you? -- doug smith

How To Lead

I don't have all the answers. This isn't an absolute, reductionist formula, but it couldn't hurt. It feels like a good way to lead. Ready? Lead with the eagerness of a child and the wisdom of an elder. That's it. I thought about substituting "patience" for "wisdom". Either one (or both) will do. Stay curious. Stay patient. Lead with kindness. What do you think? -- doug smith

Goals are for People Like You

It's hard work. Most people are not willing to put in that work. Waiting for miracles or hoping to luck into achieving your goals might sound great for a video spin as a win but usually does not pay off -- it doesn't work unless YOU do. Goals are not meant for lazy people. Goals are for people willing to work in order to get what they want. People like you, right? -- doug smith

Dancing Shoes

The problem with perfection is that it's not sustainable. As soon as you get there, the landscape shifts. Standards change. Details emerge that switch everything up. We can get upset about that, but it won't change the inevitable. It's better to flex, to move, to dance with the waves Are your dancing shoes ready?

Change and Understanding

Do we have enough time to completely understand everything that we need to change? Of course not. We should understand with clarity what it is that is changing, and especially those things that we cause to change. But some change is completely new. Some change is game-changing. It's a dance on a wet floor. It's a jam session in twelve-tone jazz. It's a dish off the menu. Exciting, breathless, thrilling, risky, and sometimes scary. Changing something you don't understand will produce results you don't expect. Are you ready for the unexpected? -- doug smith

Is That Wise?

I love famous quotations, but sometimes they are just wrong. They might be out of context. They might be out-dated. What once rang truth now sours with disharmony. What might seem wise could be disguised. I've learned to think it thru. What's really being said? What's really being advised? Does that make sense? Is that wise? Wisdom misinterpreted isn't helpful. What do you think? -- doug smith

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