It's possible for a leader to speak very directly and still be courteous. Speaking with respect, with dignity, and with consideration for others takes some of us more effort. It is well worth that effort. We don't have to be thrilled with someone's performance to maintain professional courtesy. Showing kindness does not mean giving in. The power of courtesy is felt immediately and lasts a long time. People will remember how you treated them, even if they forget why you treated them that way. Disagreements can dissolve into forgotten details even as the feelings linger forever. If you catch yourself being short with someone and delivering a pointed response consider pausing long enough to stay curious. What makes you tense? What are they really saying? What's going on? You might still decide on a direct spoken point of view -- sometimes that serves you well -- but you also might decide if it's worth demonstrating respect more than your status. It likely makes you e...