doug smith training

I'd like to follow Abraham Lincoln's approach of turning enemies into friends. That wasn't easy for him and clearly did not always work. It doesn't always work for me, either. If someone is determined to remain your enemy it is tough to change their minds. Difficult, but not impossible. The temptation is to chase them away, or to run quietly in the opposite direction and hope that it works out on its own. It seldom works out on its own. If you chase your enemy away you won't know what they're up to. Keep the conversation going. Find out what their goal is. Look for common ground. Hey, I know that is not easy. But, how well has the alternative worked so far? And how how far can you run before your enemy finds you? -- doug smith  

Anger. Resentment. Pain. Things get in the way of listening when we see an enemy in front of us. Even when we did not choose the enemy because the enemy chose us. Listening to our enemies is tough. Is it necessary? What are the comparative risks and costs: listening to not listening? It's hard to listen to our enemies and it's so much harder when we don't. When we don't listen to our enemies we miss opportunities to understand the thinking behind their moves. We miss hints and signs of trouble. And, we miss the ability to reach shared meaning and perhaps shared understanding. Even if compassion is not instantaneous, leaders have an obligation to keep it possible. Listen. It is a slow way to peace, but so much faster than fighting. -- doug smith