doug smith training

In every workshop I facilitate - every one - I share this important piece of wisdom from one of my mentors, Andrew Oxley: "if you don't like the answer to a question, ask a better question." That's profound. That's powerful. That's endlessly useful. Often, people will struggle with that. Sometimes they ask, "How do you ask better questions? What if you can't think of one?" Here's the answer. Ask with curiosity and you'll think of better questions. Stay curious, my friend. -- doug smith

Sometimes the answer is no, and we don't like the answer.  We could give up. Oh well. Or -- we could ask a different way. Maybe our expectations were not clear. Maybe our intensity was not clear. Get clear. Stay persistent. Not all the time -- it still makes sense to remain open, curious, and able to be influenced. But when you've got to have what you've got to have, and you are struggling to get it -- try a different way. Some suggestions: - find the value in what you want from the other person's point of view - show how NOT getting what you want impacts the other person negatively - ask in a different way - add humor (gently) - use analogies ("On a scale of 1 to 10, this is a solid 10 for me!) - find the mutually beneficial outcome. It could be something different. There are always more possibilities. How do you know there are still possibilities? If you haven't gotten something you like yet. What ideas do you have? --  doug smith