doug smith training

Any time I'm tempted to judge I want to reach for love instead. It's better for others, and also better for me. -- doug smith

Wisdom does not judge. -- doug smith We're all good at judging. I judge all the time - not as much as I used to, though. My goal is to stop judging altogether because it just doesn't give me what I want. People do not respond to it. People do not change their behavior. Judgement just makes us bitter because it doesn't work. I'm not saying that there is no place for judging. Justice is (sadly) as important as peace. You cannot have one without the other if judgment is needed and lacking. We just don't gain anything from being our own personal judges. The bitterness remains, and so does the cause of the reaction. I'm working instead on maintaining unconditional positive regard. People will make mistakes, sometimes even on purpose. Some people will try to take away things of value. They just don't know, or they just don't care. Will my judgment change them? Most certainly, no. Will my unconditional positive regard change them? Probably not. But ...

Listening seems easy until you try it without judging. We're trained to judge from an early age. We judge nearly everything. We like it, we don't like it, we have our reasons our logic our standards and so we judge. Like a celebrity judge on a talent show we judge with confidence and assurance that of course we are right and entitled to judge. Completely. And yet -- what is the point? Do you know anyone who wants your judgement? Do YOU desire anyone else's judgment? Go ahead and judge if you want to, if you must. Here's what I know: if you truly want to listen, listen without judging. Listen with curiosity, as if you don't know the answer already. Because maybe, just maybe, you don't. And, by listening without judgment, you might actually hear. -- doug smith

Do you find it easy to judge? We are taught in so many ways to judge things, to judge people, to judge circumstances...to judge. From some imaginary position of perfection we assess others as if they were lacking some essential ingredient. Or, in some cases, we let judgment of our own skills keep us from trying something new, from forging new ground, from creating. That's a mistake. We need creativity. We need to try new things. We need to explore territory where we won't be instantly criticized, by ourselves or others. High performance leaders value creativity so much that they suspend their sense of judgment often enough to allow creativity to flourish. How about you? Can you allow creativity to flourish? To grow? To blossom? We are more creative when we are less judgmental. Send your inner judge out for milk and cookies. It will make her happy and you'll be free. -- Doug Smith

Send your inner judge out for milk and cookies.  Is your inner judge constantly working? Do you hear your inner critic finding fault with things? We need to be able to analyze. It's useful to be able to differentiate, evaluate, and decide. But, our inner judge is such a strong voice that it sometimes drowns out everything else. When that happens, nothing looks right. When that happens, our creativity suffers. Your creative muse is not in love with your inner judge. Your creative muse would like a break, now and then, from an endless stream of criticism. Some ideas are going to be wild. Some musings will be suspicious in usefulness. Some creations might fall apart eventually. But they all need time to percolate, time to brew, time to stew, and time to form legs enough of their own to survive the inner critic in us. So give your creativity a break from your inner judge. Your ideas will thank you for it. -- Doug Smith