Working to Judge Less, Maybe Not At All

Wisdom does not judge.

-- doug smith

We're all good at judging. I judge all the time - not as much as I used to, though. My goal is to stop judging altogether because it just doesn't give me what I want. People do not respond to it. People do not change their behavior. Judgement just makes us bitter because it doesn't work.

I'm not saying that there is no place for judging. Justice is (sadly) as important as peace. You cannot have one without the other if judgment is needed and lacking. We just don't gain anything from being our own personal judges. The bitterness remains, and so does the cause of the reaction.

I'm working instead on maintaining unconditional positive regard. People will make mistakes, sometimes even on purpose. Some people will try to take away things of value. They just don't know, or they just don't care. Will my judgment change them? Most certainly, no. Will my unconditional positive regard change them? Probably not. But then I won't need to swallow the bitter pill of judgment.

What do you think?

-- doug smith

Comments

Nobody's Perfect

If you've ever had a boss who treated you like you should be perfect, you know how uncomfortable and how unachievable that expectation is. As leaders, we need not ever expect perfection. What we are reasonable in expecting is constant improvement. Even with constant improvement as an expectation, we should also realize that it is natural for people to plateau, for that level up to level off. It's like breathing. We can only inhale so much without exhaling. Expecting perfection guarantees disappointment. Expecting non-stop improvement invites burn-out. Let's be reasonably demanding leaders with the accent on reasonable. I'll try. How about you? -- doug smith

Courage Against Corruption

Even when it looks like corruption is everywhere, we do not have to let it rule. Leaders need the courage to resist corruption -- no matter how small and no matter how large and no matter for how long. When in doubt tell the truth, play fair, and act with integrity. Anything else will always catch up to you. -- doug smith

The Need to Act

Some of us like to analyze. Some of us like to act and let someone else analyze. Solving problems takes a balance. The most brilliant analysis producing the most wonderful ideas is all useless until someone acts. Some problems encourage eternal analysis, but that does not mean that eternal analysis is best. Some analysis is best accomplished with action. Think carefully, of course. Act boldly, also of course. -- doug smith

A Better Future

It's too late to perfect the past but it's not too late to learn a better future. Where is your next lesson taking you? What future are you working to create? -- doug smith

Find the Promise

Every problem contains a promise. That promise is a solution that leads to improvement, that leads to satisfaction, that leads to success. It's not guaranteed, of course, but the promise is there. Why hide from it? The promise of a problem sparks the seeds of success. Find the promise, it will pull you toward the solution. -- doug smith

Make It Fun

When you need service, do you really want it to feel like a chore to the person providing that service? Do you flinch just a little after a "thank you" when the other person says "no problem"? I'm glad it wasn't a bother. I do wish it had a little heart in it. Maybe even a little fun. The best jobs at their peak appear to be fun for those observing. "How interesting!" "How magnificent!" "How effortless!" and yes, "How fun!." The best service feels more like play. Instead of the all-too-common "no problem" what if we said a heart-filled, fun-boosted "my pleasure!" And, don't lie about it, make it fun. -- doug smith

Just Keep Learning

How many times a day are you aware of forgetting something? Where you put your keys, where the phone is, what time that appointment is, why you walked into the room you just walked into...we forget things all the time. While it does make sense to do what we can to develop and retain our memory, we just aren't ever going to remember everything. Plus, most of the stuff that we once tried so hard to remember just doesn't even matter anymore. That ninth grade algebra test? That phone number to an office that no longer exists? The mission of that business that would not hire you? Gone and gone and gone. We forget more than we'll ever remember so just keep learning. Keep learning new material. Keep learning new skills. Keep learning new things about the people you love (and the people you don't yet love!) Keep learning! What have you learned today? -- doug smith

Proof of Life

Change is not a burden. Change is proof of life. -- doug smith

When To Dance?

Have you ever danced to a tune you didn't like? Maybe it was at a wedding, or a holiday gathering, or a nightclub, or some other place. Dancing was around you and so you danced. Dancing is usually a choice. Unless it is against your belief system (as a child I remember people in my family who thought that dancing was a sin) dancing is on the whole more beneficial than difficult. I used to believe that I was a good dancer -- until my partner broke up with me and I discovered that SHE was the good dancer, so good that she makes anyone she dances with look like a better dancer (even me). And yet, still I dance. I remember the celebration dinner for a project that I worked on when the president of the company joined the rest of us on the dance floor to do a fun line dance. I'll admit, he danced better than me. For one of the programs that I teach I offer the participants the opportunity to dance in a brief virtual dance party. Some people do (and seem to enjoy it) and some people

No Excuse

Why do people make excuses? It does not dismiss their responsibility. It does not solve any problem. It simply delays the next step in the process. As one of my best leaders from my days with Whole Foods, Bruce Green, once said "Nobody cares about your excuses." An excuse is all price and no payoff. Why not let go of the excuse and get busy with the process? -- doug smith

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