Working to Judge Less, Maybe Not At All

Wisdom does not judge.

-- doug smith

We're all good at judging. I judge all the time - not as much as I used to, though. My goal is to stop judging altogether because it just doesn't give me what I want. People do not respond to it. People do not change their behavior. Judgement just makes us bitter because it doesn't work.

I'm not saying that there is no place for judging. Justice is (sadly) as important as peace. You cannot have one without the other if judgment is needed and lacking. We just don't gain anything from being our own personal judges. The bitterness remains, and so does the cause of the reaction.

I'm working instead on maintaining unconditional positive regard. People will make mistakes, sometimes even on purpose. Some people will try to take away things of value. They just don't know, or they just don't care. Will my judgment change them? Most certainly, no. Will my unconditional positive regard change them? Probably not. But then I won't need to swallow the bitter pill of judgment.

What do you think?

-- doug smith

Comments

Goals are for People Like You

It's hard work. Most people are not willing to put in that work. Waiting for miracles or hoping to luck into achieving your goals might sound great for a video spin as a win but usually does not pay off -- it doesn't work unless YOU do. Goals are not meant for lazy people. Goals are for people willing to work in order to get what they want. People like you, right? -- doug smith

Finding Collaborators

Who do you call on a project when you need help? Do you have a team of people you rely on? Or, is every project a struggle to find help? Maybe we should be constantly looking for help. Teaming up. Partnering up. What if we spent some of our strategic planning time in finding collaborators? Anyone could be a collaborator. They could be working in another department or process. They might even be in a different organization. You might not have even met yet. Still, the potential is there. Anyone could be a collaborator and sometimes we just need to ask. "Hey, I've got this great project I'm working on. Can I tell you about it?' If it really IS a great project, why wouldn't they want to hear all about it? And then, if they''re right for the project, your team could be about to grow. -- doug smith

Make It Happen

When you decide you'd like to have something, or achieve something, how do you begin? It's easier to get what you want when you first set a goal. Make it clear, make it appealing, make it possible...and then, make it happen. -- doug smith

Move Past Doubt

So many times I have allowed doubt to get in my way. While it's wise to pay attention to risks and to create plans for overcoming obstacles, doubt is often an unnecessary encumbrance. It holds back without giving. It hinders without helping. When we develop the skills we need to achieve our goals, doubt is just annoying. Doubt doesn't diminish your ability unless you let it. Hear the doubt, then do what is necessary. Figure it out, then move past the doubt. -- doug smith

Accept and Level Up

It's a challenge to constantly strive for improvement. With an ever-raising bar there's no sense of accomplishment because we're waiting for the next improvement. Push, push, push! It may not be a science, but it sure is an art to be able to balance yourself and accept what is while working to level up more. Of course it can improve. Nothing is perfect. We are as leaders all about continuous improvement. Let's just remember to appreciate what we have already earned, what our teams have already accomplished. Imagine better, but appreciate what is. Your happy place is dynamic. -- doug smith

This Time Is Yours

If it feels like other people are deciding things for you, take comfort in the fact that it has always been the case -- always -- that some people will do their best to decide everything for you. Whether you allow that or not is up to you. Whether you lead ahead or follow (and fall) behind is also up to you. This time is your time -- embrace it completely. -- doug smith "The present time has one advantage over every other -- it is our own" -- Charles Caleb Colton Source

The Word of the Day

The word of the day is love. The word of the month is love. The word of your life is love. Isn't that the best word -- and advice -- ever? -- doug smith

Are You Eager?

Maybe that road is speckled with potholes. Maybe that highway is heavy with tolls. How much do you want to go where you need to go? You can handle any rough road if you're eager enough to reach your destination. -- doug smith

Create a Better Future

Who is the future up to? Someone else? All of us? Today, this moment, I want to think about some problem that I can help solve. Some person that I can comfort. Something outside of myself that will make a difference. How do you feel about that? Solving problems is about creating a better future. That's something each of us can do, and needs to do, to see that better future come. What do you think? -- Doug Smith

Change and Understanding

Do we have enough time to completely understand everything that we need to change? Of course not. We should understand with clarity what it is that is changing, and especially those things that we cause to change. But some change is completely new. Some change is game-changing. It's a dance on a wet floor. It's a jam session in twelve-tone jazz. It's a dish off the menu. Exciting, breathless, thrilling, risky, and sometimes scary. Changing something you don't understand will produce results you don't expect. Are you ready for the unexpected? -- doug smith

doug smith training

Search This Blog