Working to Judge Less, Maybe Not At All

Wisdom does not judge.

-- doug smith

We're all good at judging. I judge all the time - not as much as I used to, though. My goal is to stop judging altogether because it just doesn't give me what I want. People do not respond to it. People do not change their behavior. Judgement just makes us bitter because it doesn't work.

I'm not saying that there is no place for judging. Justice is (sadly) as important as peace. You cannot have one without the other if judgment is needed and lacking. We just don't gain anything from being our own personal judges. The bitterness remains, and so does the cause of the reaction.

I'm working instead on maintaining unconditional positive regard. People will make mistakes, sometimes even on purpose. Some people will try to take away things of value. They just don't know, or they just don't care. Will my judgment change them? Most certainly, no. Will my unconditional positive regard change them? Probably not. But then I won't need to swallow the bitter pill of judgment.

What do you think?

-- doug smith

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Advice can be tricky. Have you ever heard advice that says "forget the past" or "release what was"? That could be helpful. That might be good therapy sometimes. And, sometimes it is a big mistake. The more we pretend the past doesn't matter the more likely it is to haunt us. We cannot change the past -- true. Should we ignore it? Or better yet, should we learn from it? -- doug smith Reflection: What does the image of that broken bridge remind you of in your past? Are you finished dealing with that part of your past? What did you learn?

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