doug smith training

Do you ever struggle with difficult people?  Don't we all? It can be frustrating -- so frustrating that we do our best to avoid confrontation. It can be so troubling that we try to put distance between ourselves and those difficult people. Or, it can be so troubling that we do everything we can to return that trouble -- to confront with strength and conviction. Either way, if someone feels like a difficult person, imagine how difficult the situation feels to them. Sometimes difficult people are most difficult to themselves. Maybe they need more help than confrontation. Isn't that worth considering? -- doug smith  

Conflict isn't all bad, but it sure feels that way sometimes. That's because some conflict IS bad, very bad indeed and causes harm. Leaders need to be able to navigate conflict and evaluate when the conflict is beyond merit and only causing harm. The more you feed that type of conflict the more it will consume. The side effects take over and drown out the very issue that caused the conflict to begin with. It could have been a natural issue. It could have been a reasonable disagreement. It could have been a struggle for a better way -- and still somehow become entangled in malice. Conflict may come naturally but it doesn't have to leave satisfied. Manage the conflict for the resolution desired, not for the sake of the conflict itself. -- doug smith

Every argument contains at least one misunderstanding. Why? So often we are in such a hurry to express ourselves that we don't pay attention to what someone else is saying. Or, we confuse style with content. When we find someone's personality abrasive it's easy to disregard anything they have to offer. Right, or wrong. I learned the hard way that none of us ever has the complete picture. Even when our opinion is correct, it is incomplete. Until we see a more complete picture (we may never know all of the details) we would do well to stay curious.  Every argument starts with misunderstandings, and usually stays there. What if we dug deeper? What if we did stay curious? What if we're wrong - how will we know unless we listen? -- doug smith

Start with common ground to tame the mountain of conflict in front of you. The trail may be long, but it is certain. -- doug smith

All true leaders encounter conflict. It's what you do with it that defines your character. -- doug smith