doug smith training

Can you tell a hard truth and still be polite? Absolutely! We can disagree with respect. We can remain civil. We can demonstrate professionalism even under pressure. Nothing should ever prevent a true professional from being polite. -- doug smith  

Wouldn't it be great if respect came naturally and we didn't even need to think about it? It doesn't. We carry around so many tensions, stresses, and levels of bias that sometimes respect comes very hard indeed. It might even feel impossible. Respect takes practice. It takes practice to demonstrate respect all of the time, and so it is always practice. Intentional, studied, demonstrated practice. I'm still practicing. How about you? -- doug smith  

Have you ever noticed that behavior is contagious? If someone is yelling at you, it's easy to start yelling back. Conversely, if someone smiles at you, it's likely that you'll smile in return. Behavior is contagious. Character thought takes more work and more development. Building the type of character strengths that you want helps you decide what behaviors you'll show. If pettiness is not part of your character, you're less likely to act in a petty manner, no matter how misbehaved someone is around you. You never need to make someone else's character flaws your own. Just build your strengths, remember that no one around you will ever be perfect, and manage your emotions.  How do you manage your emotions? What do you do to keep contagious negative behaviors from infecting you?  -- doug smith

Do people in your organization gossip? It's not harmless chatter. Gossip creates problems with reputations and generates disrespect. Without a person there to defend themselves, gossip is a poisonous mix of half-truth and hyperbole. It's bad stuff. When I worked at GE we had a guideline that made perfect sense: honor the absent. If you wouldn't say something if someone was sitting right next to you, then do not say it. Honor their absence and their humanity. Whether or not we agree with the goings-on and accounts of someone, if they are not there to defend themselves, maybe silence is the nobler path. Smearing them, swearing about them, and telling stories that are at least partially (and possibly, completely) untrue are behaviors that are beneath us. It's better to avoid gossip completely. High performance leaders know that to communicate for results it pays to stick to the truth AND to respect the people involves. Respect your audience, respect your topic, ...