doug smith training

Do you like it when other people make decisions for you? Me, either -- and neither do the people on your team. That's all the more true about decisions that become, or feel like, rules. Our inner rebel will rise. A rule we didn't make seems much easier to break.  If you want your team to keep certain rules, first find out how they feel about those rules. -- doug smith

You don't need excuses as much as you do courage. In those moments when you're not sure if you should do what you're about to do because it just doesn't feel right -- maybe it seems to collide with one of your values -- what if you used that pause, that hesitation, to think it thru? There's always a catch if your values don't match. Something will always give. If it's one of your values that has to give, how will you feel about that later? -- doug smith  

It's become almost glamorous to break rules. There's a kind of excitement to rebelling, to tearing apart a carefully constructed boundary. It might even be necessary. Before breaking that rule, though, it's worth wondering if that is also a dangerous thing to do. The more a rule is broken, the easier it is to break. The more rules that are broken, the more it seems acceptable. The more acceptable it seems to break rules, the more anarchy and chaos prevail. Choices sneak up on us and change everything that came before. If someone will break a rule for you they will eventually break a rule that you care about. How do you treat rules? -- doug smith  

I think we all have a rebellious ten-year old inside of us who does not like rules. Whenever that inner child encounters rules our natural tendency is to find ways to invalidate or violate the rule. We do not like rules imposed on us by other people, even when the rules make sense. Even when the rules are in our own best interest - I can remember years ago when many people resisted wearing seat belts even though riding in a car is MUCH safer with the seatbelts on. It didn't make any sense to violate the rule, but a rule begs to be broken. Yet, we do need rules. If you as a leader are tempted to make up rules because your team or your organization is struggling with boundaries, you can set rules -- you just shouldn't do it all by yourself. Get help. Ask people what rules they need. Find out what will be enforceable and what will not, and even more importantly find out what rules are so useful and sensible and sensitive to the desires of others that they don't even need ...

One of my favorite lines comes from the character Lou Grant. It was either the Lou Grant Show or Mary Tyler Moore. He essentially played the same somewhat surly yet lovable boss on both shows. His line went something like this: "I don't like to make a lot of rules because then I just end up enforcing them." That seems like useful advice. As centered, high performance leaders we shouldn't need a lot of rules. And, we should be extra careful about being fair in the rules that we do create. If our rules create losers, why would anyone want to play? -- Doug Smith