Be Careful of Setting Rules

I think we all have a rebellious ten-year old inside of us who does not like rules. Whenever that inner child encounters rules our natural tendency is to find ways to invalidate or violate the rule. We do not like rules imposed on us by other people, even when the rules make sense. Even when the rules are in our own best interest - I can remember years ago when many people resisted wearing seat belts even though riding in a car is MUCH safer with the seatbelts on. It didn't make any sense to violate the rule, but a rule begs to be broken.

Yet, we do need rules. If you as a leader are tempted to make up rules because your team or your organization is struggling with boundaries, you can set rules -- you just shouldn't do it all by yourself. Get help. Ask people what rules they need. Find out what will be enforceable and what will not, and even more importantly find out what rules are so useful and sensible and sensitive to the desires of others that they don't even need enforcement because people comply out of respect and appreciation.

Get people involved in governing themselves. Get people involved in creating whatever rules you need.

If you make ALL the rules, expect others to break them.

-- doug smith

Comments

Sizing Our Influence

Our influence is usually smaller than we want it to be but greater than we realize. That's a good thing because humility helps our influence grow. -- doug smith

Acceptance vs. Endorsement

Accepting a truth does not mean endorsing it. Sometimes it really is what it is. Until you change it. -- doug smith

Some of What It Takes

Leadership is hard. Challenges peck away at us, demanding response. I don't have all of the answers (who does?) but this might help a little. A little advice to myself that I am happy to share. It takes clarity to know where you are going, creativity to inspire new ways to get there, compassion to help those who are in you way, and courage to stay the course even in the face of opposition. Which of those strengths do you excel in the most? What's your secret to leadership success? -- doug smith

Shake It Up

Inspiration has its own time table, but sometimes we have to shake up the clock. Maybe instead of waiting for inspiration we should meet it halfway. How else will it ever find you? -- doug smith

Portable

Leadership, no matter how much it is intended to be permanent, is temporary. A day comes when the direction changes, the dance shifts, and the once stable boss is lost. Lost in direction, lost in relevance, lost in the times. What if we kept our leadership portable? Leadership could be fluid, flexible, and responsive as it remains centered. As circumstances change, our leadership must flow with it while finding the strength of a foundation without the chains of stagnation. That's not easy but it's part of the art of leadership. Partly science, partly art, leadership requires us to know when it's time to stand and know when it's time to flow, and yes even know when it's time to go. Portable is more powerful than authority if authority is not portable. We don't need to ask for change in order for change to change us. -- doug smith

Connections

It's in our differences that connections are made. -- doug smith

Build and Connect

The world is full of "buts" in search of more "ands." In improv. In leadership. In life. Let go of the fear and build on what's here. -- doug smith

Instincts?

Many leaders like to rely on their instincts. It's easy. It feels right. With enough experience, sometimes those instincts are spot on. But not always. If you want to trust an instinct make sure that you now and can trust the source of that instinct. Is it real? Is it relevant? Is it recent? Feelings are great, but show me the data every time. -- doug smith

We're All Imperfect

It is challenging to be a perfectionist. Continuous improvement is noble and necessary. Perfect is impossible. I picture myself, as John Wesley said, on the road to perfection and never quite there. Imperfection is a condition, not a punishment. We all make mistakes. Let's just fix them. -- doug smith

Diplomatic Strategy

I'd like to follow Abraham Lincoln's approach of turning enemies into friends. That wasn't easy for him and clearly did not always work. It doesn't always work for me, either. If someone is determined to remain your enemy it is tough to change their minds. Difficult, but not impossible. The temptation is to chase them away, or to run quietly in the opposite direction and hope that it works out on its own. It seldom works out on its own. If you chase your enemy away you won't know what they're up to. Keep the conversation going. Find out what their goal is. Look for common ground. Hey, I know that is not easy. But, how well has the alternative worked so far? And how how far can you run before your enemy finds you? -- doug smith

doug smith training

Search This Blog