doug smith training

Figure out what your body language is saying and your words will come much more easily. -- Doug Smith

Here's a funny video that shows (in a small way) the importance of voice tone and how we can counter our message with neutral sounding words. John Cena Teaches Hugh Jackman Reverse Trash Talking

You don't have to communicate perfectly, but you do have to communicate. -- Doug Smith

Do you paraphrase when you're listening? Communication is a two-way dynamic. It's so easy to assume that we're being understood. More often than not, the door to misunderstanding is open wider than we know. People read between the lines. Attention wanders. We make stuff up. Clear the fog. Listen actively for clarity. It's so important to understand. I don't think we can ever reach a meaningful and fair agreement with someone UNTIL we understand them. Completely. Clearly. Without a hidden agenda or misrepresentation. I will do my best to paraphrase someone I am in dialogue with so that I can clarify MY misunderstandings and help them make their meaning clear. I crave that understanding. How about you? Are you actively paraphrasing the people you listen to? I don't know what you've heard until you tell me. What do you think? -- Doug Smith

You've been there -- stuck in small talk. Circles upon circles of who-cares kind of banter. Sports, the weather, political situations you can't change. Blabber. I don't wait for it to change on its own, because it won't, unless you're talking with a highly skilled conversationalist. And, if you're not, it's up to you. Take the conversation deeper. Ask questions. Find out how your conversational partner feels. Find out what they think. Dig deeper. It's as if you are conducting the best interview ever, with no secret agenda. You're not there to embarrass or expose anyone -- you just want to understand them. And, only after THAT has happened, help them to understand you as well. Ask for a deeper conversation and see what happens. Show the way. I find that my CLUES to success helps here: - Create agreements - Listen with curiosity - Understand the facts and feelings - Express yourself clearly and positively - Share responsibility for su

If we can talk about it, we can deal with it. It all stacks up. We face conflict around every corner. Even from people who with think are our closest friends and allies, we occasionally (daily?) feel the discomfort of disagreement. It's a time to stretch. It's a time to learn. It's a time to start and sustain conversations that reach for understanding, even when agreement is our of view. When we can understand each other, we can begin to dig the conversation deeper into new territory. We can feel each other's pain, appreciate each other's passion, and calculate sensibly each other's logic. If we can talk about it, we can deal it. No matter how big the problem. No matter how distant the goal. Find the person who troubles you the most and start that conversation. You'll be glad that you did, if you listen to understand. What do you need to talk about today? -- Doug Smith