Keep Perspective On Your Problems

Do your problems ever seem bigger than they really are?

It could be a wonderful day filled with opportunities and fascinating connections with other people and someone we get fixed on a problem that gives us permission to feel unhappy. That seems like a poor choice to me.

I've done it though. Have you?

One thing I've learned about my problems -- even as I work to solve them -- is to keep them in perspective. Compared to other problems, how do they look? Compared to other people's situations, how dire is this really? Especially knowing that with the right process and resources I'll be no doubt solving my problem, what exactly is troubling me?

I served for a while as a volunteer fire fighter. There's nothing quite like moving into a burning building or carrying a power saw on a roof to cut a hole in the top so the fire can get out to give you a sense of perspective. Suddenly, the little problems of the day fade away.

My oldest son is a paramedic. Every time I hear an ambulance siren it reminds me of his work: facing emergencies, rushing to help people at the worst moment in their lives. Working to save the lives of people with really serious problems.

I also remember, when I hear those sirens,, that somewhere somebody has a bigger problem than me.

A sense of positive perspective might not solve your problem -- but it can certainly keep it from ruining your day.

How is your perspective doing today?

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Be Fair

If you are a parent, or remember when you were a child, you've heard this many times: "It's not fair!" Probably spoken with a massive degree of indignation. There is something absolutely offensive about encountering unfairness. Injustice. If it is not fair it is not right. You know how it feels and you know it shouldn't be that way. That's one of the things that makes leadership so important. Making fair choices. Treating people with respect. Moving toward your goals without taking advantage of other people. It takes character and strength and resolve. Life may not be far, but as a leader you can be. Let's be fair. -- doug smith

Small Steps

Incremental goals make geometric goals possible. Little goals get giant goals going. Whatever your goal is, break it down into something small enough to do right now. One step forward is all you need to get going. - - doug smith

Speak Your Mind

I like people who speak their mind, people who say what they're thinking with radical honesty. You can learn a lot that way, especially when you disagree. Not everyone will appreciate radical honesty. They want you to hide the ugly truths. They want you to sugar-coat the feedback. That's why even when telling your truth without filters feels right (and it does) we still need to ready for reactions to that truth. Disagreement takes many forms. Some forms of disagreement are healthy, and some are not. You've no doubt experienced both. Speak your mind but remember that it will likely generate a response. -- doug smith

The Most Positive

What if we're the most happy when we're the most positive? It's not magic -- we still need to do the work. It's not miraculous or metaphysical -- we do still control our own destiny. But, why not make the control positive? Why not overcome any negative patterns that stand in the way? You've got this. I'm positive. -- doug smith

Co-discovery

How are you at discovering things with other people? As much as I do enjoy working alone, exploring, doing lots of discovery, I also find that it is absolutely amazing to be able to co-discover with other people. New things emerge. Synthesis arises. Jam sessions abound. When we work together we discover worlds beyond our lonely grasp. We discover what's right. -- doug smith

Practical

Build things that people need and you'll always be needed. Just remember, you may have to change how you build those things. People's needs change and those needs are often more complicated than they seem. There is also a power difference between "classic" and "obsolete." As hard as it is, leaders need to navigate that difference. Build things that people need -- practical goods. And keep improving how you do it. -- doug smith

Dream...and then get to work

It's good to have dreams. It's where most goals begin, with a meaningful dream. Picturing yourself succeeding is a great technique (used in neurolinguistic programming, NLP and elsewhere). It's not enough, though. If you think you can just conjure up success by dreaming about it or manifesting it, good luck. Take it a step (or twenty) farther than that. Do the work. Dream all you want -- and then, get to work. -- doug smith

What Can Be?

What can be possible right now? Is there a problem facing you that you've been avoiding because it feels like there are already just too many things going on? It's easy to fall into an "all or nothing" mindset where, unable to solve ALL of the problems we manage to solve NONE of the problems. That there are too many problems to solve them all shouldn't stop us from solving the ones we can. If what can be is one solution to one problem that is a wonderful place to begin. -- doug smith

Solution Resistance

Why would anyone resist solving a problem? As frustrating as that feels, there must be a reason. Even when it is counter-productive. Even when it makes no sense at all -- people will stay stuck in their problems and avoid anything that resembles a solution. Maybe they're sure it will work out on its own (it won't). Or, maybe in a tough case they unknowingly are addicted to their pain, that cycle of bringing up what hurts even though it hurts and eventually even because it hurts. It's familiar. The chemicals do their dance of doom and the darkness feels almost comforting. I'm familiar with that pattern, that rut, that doom. It wasn't judgment that pulled me out. It wasn't force. It wasn't even an intervention. It was slow, steady, patient, loving conversations. Talk about it. Listen. Empathize. Some people won't want you to solve a problem. It's worth finding out why. Just imagine the possibilities! -- doug smith P.S. I'm not a therapist (altho...

What You Need

We won't succeed every time. Some goals fall away. Some dreams perish. Keep moving. Keep growing. Try again. When one dream dies there's room for another to arise. You've got what you need to succeed. -- doug smith

doug smith training

Search This Blog