Keep Perspective On Your Problems

Do your problems ever seem bigger than they really are?

It could be a wonderful day filled with opportunities and fascinating connections with other people and someone we get fixed on a problem that gives us permission to feel unhappy. That seems like a poor choice to me.

I've done it though. Have you?

One thing I've learned about my problems -- even as I work to solve them -- is to keep them in perspective. Compared to other problems, how do they look? Compared to other people's situations, how dire is this really? Especially knowing that with the right process and resources I'll be no doubt solving my problem, what exactly is troubling me?

I served for a while as a volunteer fire fighter. There's nothing quite like moving into a burning building or carrying a power saw on a roof to cut a hole in the top so the fire can get out to give you a sense of perspective. Suddenly, the little problems of the day fade away.

My oldest son is a paramedic. Every time I hear an ambulance siren it reminds me of his work: facing emergencies, rushing to help people at the worst moment in their lives. Working to save the lives of people with really serious problems.

I also remember, when I hear those sirens,, that somewhere somebody has a bigger problem than me.

A sense of positive perspective might not solve your problem -- but it can certainly keep it from ruining your day.

How is your perspective doing today?

-- Doug Smith

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The Games We Play

Last week I had some fun, with two different classes, in an activity to re-invent games with no losers. The only other condition was that each game also had to be fun. As it turns out, competition is not necessary in order to have fun. The creativity won the day as games developed without any losers. Imagine that. Playing a game without disappointment. Playing a game of cooperation, of collaboration, of mutually beneficial outcomes. It's possible. It's fun. And, there are no side-effects. The games we play form us in ways we may not expect. If we can invent more games, more situations, more relationships where everybody wins imagine what a world that would be. -- doug smith

Of Course...

Are you on course to achieve your biggest goals? Is your plan in motion and working? Of course! Will you need to make some adjustments along the way? Of course! If your goal really matters -- to you with some intensity, you will do what you need to do in order to achieve that goal. If it doesn't really matter, there's almost nothing to be done. You need the joy. You need the spark. You need the course of action that lights you up so much that it lights up your path to success. The reason for your goal is as important as your goal. Why does your goal matter? Why now? Why you? Does that level of focus really make a difference? Of course! -- doug smith

Personal Reminder

If you think about something that needs to be done but don't do it now, when will you do it? Now would be good. Now is the time. -- doug smith

Seriously

If you take your goals seriously they will take you where you need to go. -- doug smith

Up to You

Other people can help, but achieving your goals is up to you. -- doug smith

Save that thought...

Whenever I ask a class "have you ever said anything that you regret saying?" the answer is always 100% yes. A mumble easily becomes a stumble when it's tainted with trauma, distrust, anger, or sorrow. There are things we could say that don't help in any way. It's better to keep those things to o oneself. I had a boss once who wisely told me "Doug, when you're upset, pause and count to ten." "And what if I stay upset?" "Then count to a hundred." She might as well have said count to a thousand, because I knew exactly what she meant. Some things do not need to be said. We've all got better words inside us willing to take that mistake away. -- doug smith

Competition?

I often ask my classes "What's the difference between conflict and problem solving?". The leading answer is "competition." Conflict is a problem with opposing solutions. Two opposing goals. Competition. That can still be resolved, but it may need to be managed. Recognizing what you've got is a good start. -- Doug Smith

A Touch of the Poet

Highly structured? Wildly improvised? Harmonic, or distorted? Fast or slow? Analytics help, but there's nothing quite like a touch of the poet in solving problems. The deep pondering, the pedantic piecing together, the frantic splash of passion. Whether or not they know it every problem solver has a touch of the poet. Are you in touch with your touch of the poet? -- doug smith

A Daily Goal

Some people take a vitamin every day. Some people read a passage from a favorite book every day. Positive daily habits support a successful life. Set a goal at least once a day and then achieve that goal. It builds the kind of momentum that leads to wonderful things. And you do want wonderful things, right? -- doug smith

Not So Obvious, Is It?

People work on bad goals far too often. It sounds good, it reaches for some vague feeling of satisfaction, and yet the goal is a poor match for who they are or where they are. How you form your goals matters. Get the goal right before you work on it to save yourself lots of aggravation. Keep it simple: action word, result, and time. Keep it ambitious but possible. And check to make sure that what you want is what the goal will give you. Otherwise, that poor goal is a waste of time. -- doug smith

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