Dealing With Mostly No

Have you ever noticed that a lot of people default to no?

If you ask them for something -- no. If you offer something for sale -- no. If you promise a truly great experience in exchange for a small investment -- no.

We are hard wired to say no.

The trouble with that is that we miss yes.

One of my favorite movies is "Yes Man." I know that it is a silly movie. I know that it's broad and insane and not at all realistic. But if you haven't seen it, give it a chance. Say yes. It's all about a character played by Jim Carrey who is in the habit of constantly saying no. Then one day he goes to a Yes Convention (or something like that.) And of course, since it's a seminar, his life is changed. He begins to say yes. At first very reluctantly, but once he gets in the flow of it he says yes to everything -- too much in fact, putting himself in danger. Of course he does, it's a movie.

I like the yes man in yes man better than the no dude.

I do not say yes all of the time. Truthfully, I say no a lot, too. But every once in a while, before we say NO, what if we paused long enough to consider the possibility. A new adventure, a new purchase, a new commitment, a new THING -- yes.

-- doug smith

Comments

Fix The Problem

Fighting a problem does not require us to fight other people. We don't need to agitate when we can collaborate. Fix the problem (which is likely caused by flaws in the process, design, or environment) and the people will be fine. -- doug smith

To Be The Best

You could rely on luck. You could depend on inheritance. Maybe you could fake it until you make it. All of those courses of action are unreliable. As an old friend used to say about buying lottery tickets: "It's for people who think that the answer is outside of themselves." To be the best work harder than the rest. That's the only secret formula you need. -- doug smith

Build The Right Connections

Build the connections that strengthen your team and release the ones that tether your team to trouble. What we hold tight might not be what we need now. Deliberate connection just might take your full attention. -- doug smith

Keep your choices open

Have you ever felt like a prisoner to your own emotions? The feelings can be so strong that they flood your being with an almost paralysis. I have found myself wandering away from a situation because my emotions were pushing so hard, even though a better choice would have been to stay, get those emotions under control, breathe, and choose. Once a bad emotion has sent you its warning, it's best to send it on its way. Emotions can drive us, but don't need to. Feel it, pause, and step away. Keep all of your choices open. -- doug smith

To Be Noble...

Goals have the power to change us, to form us, to set us up for success -- or less. But, they should serve more than your own intentions. Great goals also serve others. Make sure that your goals are noble because they will direct your behavior. And, you do want to be considered noble, don't you? -- doug smith

It's About The Cause

The art of leadership is keeping the ego out of the play. It's not about you. It's never about you. As a leader, it's about the cause. -- doug smith

Misunderstood

It's frustrating to be misunderstood. It is well worth working on our communication skills in order to minimize misunderstandings because they lead to hardships and hard feelings. But, do you know some one who just seems to always misunderstand your message, or your intention? It's almost as if they are missing the point on purpose. They probably are not -- there's just some filter in the way. Some people will misunderstand you no matter how clearly you speak. Reframe, rephrase, re-try...it's not worth letting the misunderstanding stand. -- doug smith

No Crystal Ball

"My crystal ball is broken and all the snow has dried up..." says my friend Linda whenever someone expects her to read their mind or tell the future. The information is not available. We can spend a lot of time looking for shortcuts. What passes for an insight could be instead a slight. With all the tools and software we have available we still do not have workable crystal balls. My job might be easier if I had a crystal ball, but if I did have a crystal ball then I wouldn't be needed. Worth considering? Let's not fear the future. Let's do the work that's right in front of us while keeping sight of our mission. -- doug smith

Leveraging Shared Problems

As frustrating as it is, some people don't care about your problem until you make it their problem, too. But you don't have to manipulate them into it. Talk about it. Share your concerns. Find the connections and you'll also find their investment. Once they are in, collaboration is far more likely. -- doug smith

Gain That Personal Input

Do you like it when other people make decisions for you? Me, either -- and neither do the people on your team. That's all the more true about decisions that become, or feel like, rules. Our inner rebel will rise. A rule we didn't make seems much easier to break. If you want your team to keep certain rules, first find out how they feel about those rules. -- doug smith

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