Tackle Your Limiting Beliefs

What stands in your way when it comes to achieving your goals?

Life will give us lots of obstacles. We have to learn how to deal with them. But, we also give ourselves some unnecessary barriers. We build walls out of our limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs are those thoughts that we believe so strongly that they prevent us from doing what would otherwise be possible. They are different from person to person, but they often sound like this: "I'm not good enough...they would never appreciate me...I failed at this before so why try again...that's the kind of person who always gives me trouble..." and on and on.

Our limiting beliefs are so deeply ingrained, many of them formed when we were very young children, that we often are not even aware that they are there -- or that they are limiting our possibilities.

Our job is to increase our possibilities and choices, not limit them. Not to take unnecessary risks or subject ourselves to danger, but to overcome the little hurdles that stop us from getting what we want.

What to do:

Take a moment to think about something that you want, and have wanted for some time, but have not made any progress toward achieving.

As you think of that, what do you think is stopping you from moving forward on that goal right now? What if you did?

When you identify thoughts that seem to be beliefs, pause, breathe, and test your assumptions around those beliefs. Are they really true? Do you have concrete evidence that they are true? Could things have changed enough that they might not be true at all or not true anymore?

We've all got more limiting beliefs than we need. Today's a good day to purge a few. I'm working on it -- how about you?

-- doug smith

Comments

Trust Requires Truth

When you catch someone in a lie, how quickly do you trust them again? What if they'd lied to you before, maybe even many times? How much would you trust them then? Trust requires truth. To be trusted you must tell the truth. Not everyone will comply, but if you do -- if you always tell the truth -- you will be greatly trusted. -- doug smith

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Necessary Conflict

Avoiding a conflict does not make you neutral. It may be healthy at times to avoid conflict, but if your team or someone you love is suffering because of that conflict, you've got responsibilities. What do you do when conflict is necessary? High performance leaders have a plan because they've practiced sensible strategies over and over again. Maybe consider that aching conflict another practice opportunity. -- doug smith

When We're Wrong

Have you ever noticed that people can't seem to realize it when they're wrong? That makes it frustrating for both the person who is wrong and the person who is quite certain that they're wrong. We get stuck. We dig in. It happens in conversations, in conflicts, and in relationships. When we're really wrong, we're really wrong, and we don't even know it. As long as we're wrong we don't see that we're wrong. How do we fix that? (Here it is worth it to pause and wonder, hmmm, how do we?) Pause. It's worth a try. Stay open to possibilities. Listen as if we don't already know the answer, because even if we do the answer might have (probably HAS) changed. When we're wrong we've got to pause to figure that out. And when we're right, we've got to pause to see if that's still true. There's no shame in being wrong. But, it's a total shame to stay that way. -- doug smith

Hard Work

Collaborative problem solving makes conflict resolution just and fair. Resolving conflict and solving problems are not the same thing, but they do share much in common and can unify efforts toward better solutions. Work together. Talk about it. Share concerns. Consider (always) the needs of others. It's not magic, it's hard work. -- doug smith

One Way

It can be frustrating when people don't see it your way. What if you know what you're talking about? What if you've already optimized that process, that method, that protocol? This helps me - to wonder if maybe there is also another way, maybe even many other ways. Your formula for success may be unique but it is not the only productive path. The possibilities are endless. -- doug smith

Emotional Options

What's the strongest emotion for you? What's the one emotion that more often than not seems to run you instead of you running the emotion? If the answer is "none" then good for you, and maybe share how you got there because it sure is hard for most of us. Emotions once activated send all the right chemicals thru our bodies to keep us in that elevated emotional state. When we need that flush of energy it's worth experiencing the rush. When we don't, it gets in the way. We can choose. We have the ability to take emotions out of problem solving if we are willing to. Are you willing to? -- doug smith

Complicated

You could think of it as the ostrich effect - putting your head in the sand to avoid a danger. You can't see it anymore, you don't notice the discomfort, but it's still there and you're still exposed. Overlooking the complexity of a problem does not simplify it -- or solve it. As uncomfortable as it may be, we need to face our problems with courage, deal with them using our creativity, focus on our goals with clarity, and show compassion for anyone effected by our course of action. When problems are complicated we need not hide. It's better to rise. -- doug smith

No Place for Laziness

It's one thing if a team member is unable to do something due to lack of knowledge or skill or resources. It's completely different when they ARE able but are unwilling. Especially if the only thing standing in someone's way is their laziness. It's too much work for them. They don't see the payoff. But, for the rest of the team the payoff is both obvious and necessary. It may take a little work on the part of leadership to move that laziness aside. It could take patience. Persistence. Pressing on. Why not press on by showing that you are NOT too lazy to encourage effort? Why not demonstrate the value -- and the joy -- in the work? Overcoming laziness is work well worth the effort. -- doug smith

Seriously

Have you ever worked so hard on something that it made you miserable? Major goals do take hard work. When we set a goal if we're serious about it we must be ready to work hard to achieve it. But only if it matters. Only if we know that achieving that goal will make us better and happier or perhaps perform a noble good in the world. If a goal doesn't do that -- if a goal doesn't make you happy -- let it go. -- doug smith

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