Tackle Your Limiting Beliefs

What stands in your way when it comes to achieving your goals?

Life will give us lots of obstacles. We have to learn how to deal with them. But, we also give ourselves some unnecessary barriers. We build walls out of our limiting beliefs.

Limiting beliefs are those thoughts that we believe so strongly that they prevent us from doing what would otherwise be possible. They are different from person to person, but they often sound like this: "I'm not good enough...they would never appreciate me...I failed at this before so why try again...that's the kind of person who always gives me trouble..." and on and on.

Our limiting beliefs are so deeply ingrained, many of them formed when we were very young children, that we often are not even aware that they are there -- or that they are limiting our possibilities.

Our job is to increase our possibilities and choices, not limit them. Not to take unnecessary risks or subject ourselves to danger, but to overcome the little hurdles that stop us from getting what we want.

What to do:

Take a moment to think about something that you want, and have wanted for some time, but have not made any progress toward achieving.

As you think of that, what do you think is stopping you from moving forward on that goal right now? What if you did?

When you identify thoughts that seem to be beliefs, pause, breathe, and test your assumptions around those beliefs. Are they really true? Do you have concrete evidence that they are true? Could things have changed enough that they might not be true at all or not true anymore?

We've all got more limiting beliefs than we need. Today's a good day to purge a few. I'm working on it -- how about you?

-- doug smith

Comments

Easy on that Multitasking

It's tempting when there is so much to do to heap it up on your top performers. Give them that extra project. Delegate more. While delegation is a key part of high performance leadership, be careful about giving too many things to be done all at once. You know already that multitasking is risky. When you're driving a car you are multitasking -- your hands are doing one thing, your feet are doing another thing, and your eyes are busy on another thing, and it's all perfectly fine, until you add one thing too many. Looking at your phone or changing the controls on your audio, or glancing over your shoulder at the kids in the backseat -- all it takes is one thing too many to be much more than one thing too many. Disaster awaits. Most multitasking causes more problems than it solves. Single task when possible and simply find another way. It may take longer, but it probably won't in the long run. -- doug smith

Procrastination

Procrastination increases stress. Do the thing and be done with it. -- doug smith

Reason to Talk

That misunderstanding, that festering conflict, that difficult behavior...what are we to do? Talk it over. Bring it up. Conflict is reason to talk. Conversations cost less than making assumptions. Talk about it.

Optimism

Optimism isn't a guarantee but it is fuel for improvement. You have to think anyway, why not think positively. I've had to work on this. There were times when I was way too sensitive and way to perfectionistic which lead to being pessimistic. I learned that given a choice (and we always have a choice) it is far better to think optimistically. Not irrationally. You do still need to work. Just thinking positively is no lock no matter what anyone says. But it can pull you in a positive direction, and that's helpful. What do you think? -- doug smith

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The Best Goals

Goals are not created equally. Some we plow thru because they are necessary or even assigned. But some that we choose challenge us so strongly that we grow no matter what the outcome turns out to be. Some build new skills that we will use forever after. The best goals bring you growth and joy even when you don't achieve them. Select your goals carefully. Feel the joy. -- doug smith

With Love

Emotions can get in the way of solving problems. Stirring up anger, or fear is hardly ever helpful. But what if even in the toughest of situations we solved problems with love. There can't be too much love, can there? And the supply is always renewable and inexhaustible if we stay with it. Problems solved with love stay solved longer. We also feel much better about the whole thing. What do you think? -- doug smth

Done

Trying to fix a problem from the past could cause a problem right now. When it's done, let it stay done. -- doug smith

Facts and Feelings

How do you feel about data? About half of us really don't feel anything about data, because it's the data that matters. Let's focus on the facts. The half of us really does care about how we feel about data -- or anything else. How cold it is to leave our feelings out of the equation! As winning leaders we need to focus both on facts and on feelings. We need the flexibility and the focus. We need to include anyone and everyone who will be impacted by the results of our decisions. What do you think about that? How do you feel about that? Ask both questions, and then...listen. -- doug smith

The Real Secret

A few years ago there was a lot of attention on a personal development technique known as "the secret." I'm not here to debunk the secret or throw shade in its direction, because if you've heard about it you've probably already made up your mind. Like many of other methods, if it works for you, enjoy -- and if it doesn't, choose. This is not nearly so lofty a concept I'm about to share, and it's nothing that I've made up. It's been known forever. But just because it's known doesn't mean that it's easy. Just because it's simple doesn't guarantee success. Like anything worth working for, we've got to work for it. The magic ingredient to achieving your goals is discipline. That's it. Whatever your course of action, you've got to put in the work. Whatever great habits will propel you forward, you've got to sustain the discipline to keep doing them. Is that the real secret? You decide. -- doug smith

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