Questions about Advice

Do you like to give advice?

I don't know how many times people have asked me for advice and in return I just let them hear what I had to say about what I thought they wanted to know. That has two big problems:

Maybe I haven't really understood their issue, and
Maybe they aren't really ready for advice until they've thought it through

By asking questions, I can learn more about their situation to find out if I even have advice worth sharing on that situation. Sometimes, they have all they need to solve the problem by themselves.

Also, by asking questions and letting them think through the situation in greater detail, they can tell that I'm not just going to pull out a stock answer -- and the answer will come from our dialogue together, not some ready-supply of world wisdom. I'm smart, but I can't solve everyone's problem.

How about this -- do you like to get advice?

Asking for advice (without paying for it) can be an imposition. It can also be rude. It can also be risky because once you ask for advice whoever provides that advice will expect you to follow it.

Before I ask for advice now, I ask questions to explore whether my inquiries are both welcome and useful for both of us. I'm more interested in collaborating solutions than consuming them.

Or, how about this -- does anyone ever offer you advice you didn't ask for?

That's always fun isn't it -- or not! When that happens I've learned to ask questions to find out why they think I need or want that advice. Maybe I do and I just don't realize it yet. Or, maybe I don't and any advice will get in the way of a plan already in place. Once again, I'd rather collaborate than consume.

When in doubt, when put out, when you feel about to shout -- ask questions.

Ask questions before giving advice and ask questions before taking it.

The right questions can save you hours of aggravation and misunderstanding.

-- doug smith

Comments

Go Get It

It might seem that all you need to achieve that goal is a little help. A bit of a boost. Someone to provide feedback and encouragement. You're right. If all you need is a little help to achieve your goal, then definitely go get that help. The person who could help you really does want to help you. -- doug smith

Not Perfect?

Have you ever held onto a problem just because you couldn't find the perfect solution, an elegant, efficient, bruise-free choice? That effort -- for perfection -- has slowed me down a number of times. Perfection can be such a bother, because nothing is perfect in this life and never will be. There's no perfect way to solve a problem -- but you don't need perfection to solve it. If you can find the best way, that is certainly good enough. -- doug smith

Time and Feelings

Using time productively is of course important. Managing work and activities, reducing wasted time, optimizing performance, these all matter. And you know what else matters? How you feel about it. The time is yours. Even when other people make decisions about your time, your approach to what you do is always up to you. It's not just what you do with your time that matters, it's also how you feel about what you do with your time. What's your answer? -- doug smith

Time and Possibility

There was a time when time seemed to close in on me like a shrinking cell. I could hear the ticking like a serious soundtrack constantly reminding me that urgency had to rule or time would shrink away. But time doesn't shrink away. Time does not care what you do about it and if you hear ticking it's from a real clock, not your lost time. Time is not a ticking clock, it's a fluid sea of possibility. Find the wave and ride. Connect with your school of creatives and invent new boundaries. Swim and win. The possibilities are endless. And...so is time. -- doug smith

Good News, Bad News

The bad news is that you are the biggest thief of your time. The good news is that you can change that. We all waste time. We can all waste less. Productivity is a choice. -- doug smith

A Winning Game

It would be nice to win the game. But, do you ever feel like you're in a game that keeps shifting the rules and making it easy to make progress but impossible to win? You've probably noticed lots of game elements creeping into service. Points, incentives, expiring coupons followed by new expiring coupons, leader-boards...on an on a relentless attack on service comes from playing a game designed -- you guessed it -- to maximize profit. If the customer is happy, fine, but the point is to make money. Not to put too fine a point on it but that's a lousy point. What if there could be something better? What if customer service excellence became playing a game where the customer always wins and that makes you happy? You don't have to. "give away the store" to achieve a winning game for all of the players. Just stop stacking the rules against customers and watch how much more they will want to do business with you. -- doug smith

You've Got More

Do you know what is the best thing about potential? You've always got more. It's the same for capacity -- you can always dig deeper, extend farther, lift more. Think about some of the best things you've ever done. You're amazing, aren't you? There's more in the tank. There's great work ahead. The best you can do is better than you think it is. Won't it be fun when you discover that? -- doug smith

Enthusiastic Support

You can achieve many great goals on your own. Getting help from others will increase your successes. Why would anyone help you? Maybe if they owe you a favor, but much more likely it's when your goal ignites something in them. Lights up their enthusiasm. Makes them more motivated. A poorly written goals is easily ignored. A great goal, one that is clear, gains interest and support. Write a great goal and see what it attracts. Great goals gather enthusiastic support. -- doug smith

The Goal Sequence

Every goal leads to another goal. If you've achieved your goal, the next goal gives you increased opportunity to grow. If you've missed your goal, the next goal gives you a chance to learn and correct. Nobody achieves all of their goals but every goal gives you something. Get that goal done and see what great goal comes next. -- doug smith

Win Some More

Everybody likes to win. Can we win when it's not even a competition? Sure we can. When we can will without requiring that someone else lose, the win is magnified. Celebrated. Treasured. Try saying the words "you win" and see how it changes the outcome so that you win, too. It's not surrender -- it's collaboration. -- doug smith

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