The Easy Tree

Twitter can be fun sometimes because you can follow famous people and even respond to their musings. Sometimes, they might even respond to your response, somehow validating an otherwise humble existence.

In teaching for decades I've often asked as a warm-up question "what famous person have you met?" and I was initially surprised at how many people have actually met a famous person. Nearly everyone in nearly every room has met or encountered at least one famous person. We're all so close to connection that it's wonderful.

One of the famous people I've met (who no doubt will not remember me) is the writer and producer Gennifer Hutchison. We met at a wedding in California. She's closely associated with the TV show "Breaking Bad" which I loved so it was a thrill to meet her.

That's all just me bragging and pretending that it's establishing context for this tweet that I'd like to respond to:

What's the tree you climbed as a child that you still think about?
— Gennifer Hutchison (@GennHutchison) September 7, 2021

I still think about the Easy Tree.

There were two prominent trees in our neighborhood in Southern New Jersey -- one that was tall and complicated and hard to climb because it was dangerous.

The other had big limbs, strong branches, and ample space that made it easy to climb. We of course called that the Easy Tree.

We climbed it almost every day.

One day we decided to build something in that tree. We might have had an elaborate tree house in mind although honestly we lacked the engineering or carpentry skills to pull that off. We didn't even have adequate tools. We used bricks to pound in the nails to hold the lumber. Bad idea.

It was not my brick, but it might as well have been because I felt so bad about what happened. One of the bricks slipped (predictably) out of the hands of one of us and landed on my brother Dave's head. There was a lot of blood.

We carried him home where my dad administered copious amounts of water and whatever magic that parents do to save their children's lives. There might well have been a trip to the doctor and stitches involved. (There were indeed stitches and my brother had a scar on his forehand after that, but he did make a complete and remarkably fast recovery.)

"Just like a boxer," I remember my granddad saying. "The head bleeds a lot."

The Easy Tree was never quite the same after that and I don't remember ever climbing it again. But I do think of it often and how very upset I was to see my brother hurt. I cried more than he did, and I was four years older than him.

Well, Ms. Hutchison -- that's the tree I think about. How about you?

-- doug smith

Comments

Plan to Celebrate

I am not good at celebrating, and yet celebrating is motivational. Because of that, I need to PLAN to celebrate or it will pass me right by. That also means that in order to see the plan to celebrate thru, there must be something worth celebrating, which means doing the work to achieve the goal. Your goal is easier to achieve when you make energizing progress and then celebrate it. It's not either or -- it's both and: progress (doing the work) and celebration (rewarding yourself and others for that success.) What do you think? -- doug smith

You're the Leader

What's next? Everyday there is some new challenge and everyday there are multiple ways to handle each challenge. People are waiting for answers without even understanding the questions. Where does that leave you? The best we can ever do is to make things better. Start with one thing at a time and grow. I don't do nearly enough of this, but I'm willing to ramp it up. How about you? Lead the way to something better and people will follow you. -- doug smith Call to Action: Make a list (a very short list!) of problems you'd like solved or projects you'd like to do. Prioritize the list. Start working on number one. Do something.

What Secret?

How secret is that secret? Secrets are told when people think that no one is listening. Some one is always listening. That's how secrets get out. -- doug smith

Maybe Start With A Smile...

How do you react when you meet someone new? They're not new to the world, of course, just to you but that's new enough, isn't it? What if they disagree with you? What if you're on different sides of an issue? What if you don't know? People desire respect. When respect is lacking, we know it right away, don't we? And when we withhold our own respect it stands to reason that others know that right away, too. But if we start with respect -- if we start with the idea that every person we meet has value -- it becomes easier to interact meaningfully and maybe even share common ground. When we connect with respect we dramatically increase our chances of communicating effectively. I'll do my best to practice that today -- how about you? -- doug smith

Start With Calm

It's amazing how many problems stop being problems once we are centered and calm. -- doug smith

Questions for Hitting Your Goal

If you usually hit your goal you'll usually hit your goal. To do that, to usually hit your goal, get into the habit of hitting your goal. Questions to ask to prepare yourself for achieving your goal include: Do you know why you want to achieve your goal? Do you have everything you need to achieve your goal? How committed are you to achieving your goal? Who do you need help from in order to achieve your goal? What might get in the way of achieving your goal? How will you break your goal down into smaller pieces? How will you measure your progress and results? What will it give you to achieve your goal? We're all so busy. It that goal isn't important enough to answer those questions clearly then maybe it's not important enough to achieve. Pause, breathe, ask, then act. -- doug smith

Convince Yourself

How important is that goal, really? How deeply do you believe in the importance of that goal? It's easy, but silly, for us to fool ourselves. Either the goal REALLY matters or it does not. Design a plan to achieve your goal that is so persuasive you won't be tempted to ignore it. Then do it. Act relentlessly on your plan. -- doug smith

Make It a Goal

Take your problems seriously, then take them away. Find out what it is about the problem that is standing in your way. What is it that you really want? What is your goal? Once you convert your problem statement to a goal you've opened the door to a thousand new possibilities. Your answer is in there. -- doug smith

Enjoy AND Improve

Do you enjoy success? If that seems like a silly question (Of COURSE I enjoy success!) think about it from another perspective. Sometimes we can taper down our enjoyment and appreciation of something because we know it's not perfect yet, and how can we be happy if it's not perfect? I do that somethings. It's not helpful. OF COURSE it's not perfect: nothing else and nothing ever will be. There are no perfect people, processes, performances, or plan. If we wait for perfection, we'll just keep waiting (and probably without gaining ground...) Let's do both. Let's enjoy our current level of success and achievement while also working to improve it. Performance must constantly improve, AND we can enjoy our exiting improvements. -- doug smith

Dealing With The Past

Advice can be tricky. Have you ever heard advice that says "forget the past" or "release what was"? That could be helpful. That might be good therapy sometimes. And, sometimes it is a big mistake. The more we pretend the past doesn't matter the more likely it is to haunt us. We cannot change the past -- true. Should we ignore it? Or better yet, should we learn from it? -- doug smith Reflection: What does the image of that broken bridge remind you of in your past? Are you finished dealing with that part of your past? What did you learn?

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