The Easy Tree

Twitter can be fun sometimes because you can follow famous people and even respond to their musings. Sometimes, they might even respond to your response, somehow validating an otherwise humble existence.

In teaching for decades I've often asked as a warm-up question "what famous person have you met?" and I was initially surprised at how many people have actually met a famous person. Nearly everyone in nearly every room has met or encountered at least one famous person. We're all so close to connection that it's wonderful.

One of the famous people I've met (who no doubt will not remember me) is the writer and producer Gennifer Hutchison. We met at a wedding in California. She's closely associated with the TV show "Breaking Bad" which I loved so it was a thrill to meet her.

That's all just me bragging and pretending that it's establishing context for this tweet that I'd like to respond to:

What's the tree you climbed as a child that you still think about?
— Gennifer Hutchison (@GennHutchison) September 7, 2021

I still think about the Easy Tree.

There were two prominent trees in our neighborhood in Southern New Jersey -- one that was tall and complicated and hard to climb because it was dangerous.

The other had big limbs, strong branches, and ample space that made it easy to climb. We of course called that the Easy Tree.

We climbed it almost every day.

One day we decided to build something in that tree. We might have had an elaborate tree house in mind although honestly we lacked the engineering or carpentry skills to pull that off. We didn't even have adequate tools. We used bricks to pound in the nails to hold the lumber. Bad idea.

It was not my brick, but it might as well have been because I felt so bad about what happened. One of the bricks slipped (predictably) out of the hands of one of us and landed on my brother Dave's head. There was a lot of blood.

We carried him home where my dad administered copious amounts of water and whatever magic that parents do to save their children's lives. There might well have been a trip to the doctor and stitches involved. (There were indeed stitches and my brother had a scar on his forehand after that, but he did make a complete and remarkably fast recovery.)

"Just like a boxer," I remember my granddad saying. "The head bleeds a lot."

The Easy Tree was never quite the same after that and I don't remember ever climbing it again. But I do think of it often and how very upset I was to see my brother hurt. I cried more than he did, and I was four years older than him.

Well, Ms. Hutchison -- that's the tree I think about. How about you?

-- doug smith

Comments

A Sign to Learn

What's your reaction when you find yourself in conflict and yet you are absolutely sure that you're right? Do you dig in on your position? Do you redouble your efforts to convince everyone of your position? Or do you stay curious? Do you stay open to learning? The more certain I am that I'm right the greater the opportunity there is to learn. The next time you are absolutely sure that you're right try asking yourself -- what can I still learn here? It could change everything. -- Douglas Brent Smith

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What looks like the root cause of a problem may have roots of its own. Keep digging. The rush to solve may leave things unresolved. -- doug smith

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How many eighty-hour work weeks do you put in? That's not meant to judge, but to ponder. I've put in plenty of eighty and more hour work weeks and while I don't regret any of them I know that they haven't all paid-off proportionately. It's possible to work so hard that you miss what's important. It's a frequent paradox that the longer one works the less productive they become. I've learned to tell myself: Take a break. Relax. Let it all come to you, flow thru you, and go on its merry way -- if only for a little while. Drink water, exercise, meditate, pray, and relax. Healthy leaders build healthy teams. Take care of yourself. -- doug smith

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It's the start of a better, deeper, more productive conversation. It's the small effort to make a big impression in establishing relationship. Connect with respect. You don't have to love the person you're interacting with (although, wouldn't that help?) but if you make the effort to demonstrate respect whatever you have to share will land with more credibility. It is a leadership strength. Connect with respect. Smile. Make eye contact. Listen. Honor customs, traditions, even organizational hierarchy. The choice of course is up to you. It's a very personal choice to connect with respect. If you make that choice, I think you will like the results. -- doug smith PS: I didn't expect to use a picture featuring a horse for this posting but when I saw it there was a deep feeling a respect showing. Action Step: Find a picture that represents respect for you and for a week, keep it close enough to look at it for a bit every day.

The Seat of the Situation

Problems are complicated. We need to think clearly about them, to analyze their causes. We also need to act quickly because, oddly or not, some solutions expire. Sit, or move? Think, or act? This isn't a universal assertion, but maybe one with value: the situation isn't entirely the problem, and the problem isn't entirely the situation. As closely as cause and effect may nest, there are likely other causes, other effects worth considering. It's a bit like widening the circle in a jam session. Yes, the new instruments complicate things, and yes, sometimes the notes are discordant, but oh! the miracle of the unexpected harmonies can make the how piece better. That's the situation. What if it existed before the problem, and needs to exist beyond the problem? We can sit with a problem without making that problem the entire situation. What do you think? -- doug smith ps: The drawing is only partially related. It't a situation. It's a problem. I drew this danci...

Enjoy The Outcomes

Every problem leads to an outcome. Some you want and some you definitely do not want. You're going to prefer the outcomes of the problems you solve. Don't you think so? -- doug smith

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