Limiting Boundaries

Limiting thoughts, beliefs, and boundaries

How strong are your boundaries?

How do you feel about limitations? When those limitations are placed on us by other people we tend to rebel. We don't like being told what to do or what not to do. Boundaries can feel like chains, even when they are well-intended.

Some boundaries are necessary. Not everyone has sense enough to avoid hurting other people, so we need protections from those types of people. But, some boundaries are needlessly restrictive: doubting ourselves, diminishing our self-esteem, holding us back from trying new things that we could enjoy..,

Self-imposed boundaries are worth auditing for effectiveness: is this what we really want?

Boundaries that stand needlessly in the way of our goals are not serving us well at all. I've had some boundaries that kept me from getting what I wanted until I realized what the wall in front of me was: me.

How about you? How are your boundaries?

You are bound by your own boundaries before anyone else ever notices them. It's not too late to decide if those boundaries stay, or go.

-- doug smith

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Keep Solving

It's frustrating to solve a problem only to have it re-appear. And, even if it doesn't re-appear it seems like another problem quickly pops up. Problems don't stay solved so we must keep solving. And so...keep solving. -- doug smith

Appreciation Builds Confidence

High performance leaders must do two things extremely skillfully: 1. Support your people 2. Challenge your people One great way to support your people is to appreciate them. Say thank you often and very specifically. Thank then for exactly what they did and why it's helpful. For example: "Thanks for getting your report in a day early! That gives me more time to digest the data and less time to worry about getting it on time!" "Thank you so much for listening respectfully even though I could tell you disagreed. When we're able to talk like this it's much more likely that we'll come up with great ideas and solutions to problems." "I appreciate the way you follow-up a good question with a clarifying response. That way we both understand what we're saying!" It takes practice. It might feel awkward at first. But here's something that I say every day because it's true: what gets appreciated gets repeated. If you like something, apprec

Focus Saves Time

A proper goal prevents wasted time. We don't have time to pursue meaningless goals. What matters most needs most of our time. Take a look at your list of goals. Prioritize the top three. The rest will matter most when the top three are done. -- doug smith

Gratitude

What we are grateful for stays, what we take for granted goes away. What are you grateful for today? If the list is long, there's something also to be grateful for. If the list is short, consider it more. Gratitude blesses our blessings and keeps them flowing. -- doug smith

Developing Leadership

We are constantly developing leadership -- the work is never done. New challenges, new people, new goals. That includes how we lead and who we develop as current and future leaders. Developing leadership is a constant. What's your plan? -- doug smith

Adjustable Expectations

How important are your expectations to you? Have you adjusted them lately? Or, have they been adjusted FOR you? It's important to know what we expect and manage what we expect. Too much, and you'll disappoint yourself. Too little, and you could under-perform. We control our expectations. And, we also adjust those expectations. Problems have a way of recalibrating our expectations. it could take longer to reach our goal. It might be impossible to reach our goal. Until we solve the problem, our expectations could stall. Life, and work, is filled with unexpected adjustments. What did you expect? -- doug smith

Who Follows The Rules?

If the rules are not fair for everyone, they will be broken. You shouldn't be surprised, though -- you should make the rules fair. -- doug smith

Communicate Politely

Can you tell a hard truth and still be polite? Absolutely! We can disagree with respect. We can remain civil. We can demonstrate professionalism even under pressure. Nothing should ever prevent a true professional from being polite. -- doug smith

Practice!

How much do you practice the skill that is most important to your success? We do best what we do most. Practice. It's the best way (maybe the only way) to get better. You name the skill -- communication, leadership, problem solving, managing conflict, playing music, running, swimming, singing, dancing, acting...practice is the key. -- doug smith

Smile

It's easier to face the future if you embrace the present with a smile. "Is that your answer to everything? Smile?" "Nah -- but it serves me better than frowning." "What if you don't know whether to smile or cry?" "Even a curious smile is better than no smile at all...smile? Yes!" The more you make yourself smile, the more you will need to because there will be more to smile about -- smiles will start coming more often on their own. People will smile back. The smiles will multiply. It's harder to be mad at someone who likes you enough to smile for you, to smile toward you, to smile with you. Smile! -- doug smith

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