Limiting Boundaries

Limiting thoughts, beliefs, and boundaries

How strong are your boundaries?

How do you feel about limitations? When those limitations are placed on us by other people we tend to rebel. We don't like being told what to do or what not to do. Boundaries can feel like chains, even when they are well-intended.

Some boundaries are necessary. Not everyone has sense enough to avoid hurting other people, so we need protections from those types of people. But, some boundaries are needlessly restrictive: doubting ourselves, diminishing our self-esteem, holding us back from trying new things that we could enjoy..,

Self-imposed boundaries are worth auditing for effectiveness: is this what we really want?

Boundaries that stand needlessly in the way of our goals are not serving us well at all. I've had some boundaries that kept me from getting what I wanted until I realized what the wall in front of me was: me.

How about you? How are your boundaries?

You are bound by your own boundaries before anyone else ever notices them. It's not too late to decide if those boundaries stay, or go.

-- doug smith

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Commitment

How important is commitment to you? When someone tells you that they will do something, are you fine with a casual "maybe they will, maybe they won't" or are you looking for a true commitment? It's not always easy to find these days and yet it is more valuable than ever: commitment. If you want high performance results it takes commitment. If you want quality service for your customers it takes commitment. When there is an easy way out, people will find it unless they are committed to excellence. Everything is optional until you commit. -- doug smith

Debrief Your Mistakes

We do have time for mistakes. We don't have time to ignore them. -- doug smith

Give People A Voice

How do you feel about rules that are imposed on you? A new procedure, a different process, some change that feels awkward and unwelcome? Most people hate that sort of thing. That means that when we as leaders seek to make a change it's worth considering how many voices we've allowed into the conversation. Do people feel included? Are they likely to approve of some new restriction? It's harder to follow rules that you didn't approve. The best way to influence that challenge is to give people a voice, and, then listen. -- doug smith

Help them find their flow

Sometimes a normally great performers gets in a slump, like an athlete who can't find their flow. Whatever the job, it's possible to get in your flow and it's possible to fall out of your flow. The flow is the place where you do your best work, where the conditions that create your own personal space for success propel your performance forward. When our team members fall out of their flow (maybe they've got an emotional challenge, maybe their favorite piece of equipment is malfunctioning, maybe more problems than usual are bombarding them...) we can help. By coaching constantly we can recognize each team member's flow AND recognize when they are out of their strength and into trouble. Coaches don't fix people but they can help them find their flow. Who needs your help at finding their flow? What feedback can you share that will help them get it back? -- doug smith More On Flow Distinctive to each person, although you may observe similarities Requires the righ

Give Your Gift

What is your most powerful gift? What is that thing that you rely on the most, that people find most compelling about you, that sets you apart from others? Everyone is a customer for your most important gift. Are you giving it freely? -- doug smith

Avoid Manipulation

Doesn't manipulation feel icky? If your inner radar works at all it goes all tingling in full tilt alarm when someone tries to force you into doing something, or tries to trick you into an action you don't want. Walk away from those who seek to win over you, and walk toward those who seek to win you over. -- doug smith

Keep Digging

The first cause you find to a problem is probably not the last cause or even the main cause. Keep digging. -- doug smith

A Pair, Not a Paradox

Discipline gives us the power to do what we want to do -- and that comes from developing discipline by doing work we don't want to do... That might sound like a paradox but it's more like a matched pair. I'm not saying that we should do a lot of work that we don't like, but rather that sometimes within the work that we choose are tasks that we would not have chosen. Those necessary but unappealing tasks give us the opportunity to persist -- to stick to our goals because of and sometimes in spite of the details. Discipline. You can live without it, but you probably won't achieve your goals that way. -- doug smith

Seriously

Did your most recent rude customer ruin your day? It doesn't have to be that way. Customers these days ARE tougher than ever. Their highly emotional outbursts can impact any attempts to provide good service. As a result, poorly behaved customers often get WORSE service than they would have otherwise. When I managed a customer service shop I often told my team members, "you may have to tolerate occasional rudeness sparked by emotions, but you NEVER have to tolerate abuse." End the conversation, politely, and decisively. Suggest a better time to talk, when things have calmed down. Service does not require surrender. We're people, too. -- doug smith

Stay With Compassion

Leaders need courage. They also need compassion. We can use our compassion to balance our courage, and use our courage to increase our compassion. Compassion is so vital we must never give up on it. No matter how angry we are, no matter how disappointed we feel, no matter how high the stakes -- stay with compassion. If it cannot be done with compassion, it should not be done. -- doug smith

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