Less Judging

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Judging is a joy buster.

No matter how good it feels at first, the whiplash outlasts the guilty pleasure. Judging inevitably points to the personal spots we share with those whom we judge.

If your job is to be a judge, by all means keep judging. But if your job is anything else, pause long enough to learn what's going on.

I'm still waiting for perfection, how about you? Don't we all need a little slack from the rampant judging that surrounds us?

-- doug smith

Comments

No Excuse

Why do people make excuses? It does not dismiss their responsibility. It does not solve any problem. It simply delays the next step in the process. As one of my best leaders from my days with Whole Foods, Bruce Green, once said "Nobody cares about your excuses." An excuse is all price and no payoff. Why not let go of the excuse and get busy with the process? -- doug smith

Blame Is Not Your Problem

'It's irksome to get blamed for a problem. That can raise emotions that make solving the problem even more difficult. If we can center ourselves first, breathe, and release the blame, maybe we can see what path to take. We can solve the problem. Getting blamed for a problem we didn't create doesn't prevent us from solving it. Let go of the blame, wherever it came from. -- doug smith Action Step: The next time you catch yourself blaming anyone for anything, just let go of the blame.

Peace With Temporary Solutions

As a recovering perfectionist, I've tried to make peace with temporary solutions. I do still want everything to be perfect (and to STAY that way) while also learning that even my best ideas are transitional at best. Things will change. I will change. You will change. Our ideas and solutions will also need to change. If we can stop thinking that solutions are final our problems won't seem so troubling. Because whatever we don't solve NOW can still be solved later. What do you think? -- doug smith

Proof of Life

Change is not a burden. Change is proof of life. -- doug smith

When To Dance?

Have you ever danced to a tune you didn't like? Maybe it was at a wedding, or a holiday gathering, or a nightclub, or some other place. Dancing was around you and so you danced. Dancing is usually a choice. Unless it is against your belief system (as a child I remember people in my family who thought that dancing was a sin) dancing is on the whole more beneficial than difficult. I used to believe that I was a good dancer -- until my partner broke up with me and I discovered that SHE was the good dancer, so good that she makes anyone she dances with look like a better dancer (even me). And yet, still I dance. I remember the celebration dinner for a project that I worked on when the president of the company joined the rest of us on the dance floor to do a fun line dance. I'll admit, he danced better than me. For one of the programs that I teach I offer the participants the opportunity to dance in a brief virtual dance party. Some people do (and seem to enjoy it) and some people

Nobody's Perfect

If you've ever had a boss who treated you like you should be perfect, you know how uncomfortable and how unachievable that expectation is. As leaders, we need not ever expect perfection. What we are reasonable in expecting is constant improvement. Even with constant improvement as an expectation, we should also realize that it is natural for people to plateau, for that level up to level off. It's like breathing. We can only inhale so much without exhaling. Expecting perfection guarantees disappointment. Expecting non-stop improvement invites burn-out. Let's be reasonably demanding leaders with the accent on reasonable. I'll try. How about you? -- doug smith

Be Kind

Be kind, even when it's hard. Even when the way escapes you at first. If you can't think of a fast way to be kind, a slow way will do just fine. The point is to act with kindness. -- doug smith

Just Keep Learning

How many times a day are you aware of forgetting something? Where you put your keys, where the phone is, what time that appointment is, why you walked into the room you just walked into...we forget things all the time. While it does make sense to do what we can to develop and retain our memory, we just aren't ever going to remember everything. Plus, most of the stuff that we once tried so hard to remember just doesn't even matter anymore. That ninth grade algebra test? That phone number to an office that no longer exists? The mission of that business that would not hire you? Gone and gone and gone. We forget more than we'll ever remember so just keep learning. Keep learning new material. Keep learning new skills. Keep learning new things about the people you love (and the people you don't yet love!) Keep learning! What have you learned today? -- doug smith

Perspective Flexibility

How flexible is your perspective? Once we form a vision of what we think is true, it's so easy to stick with that view. Right or wrong, that view is incomplete. We omit important details. We add our preferences to our references and develop a distinctive mix. As nice as that feels, it is also constraining. Flexibility allows for flow. Openness questions the certain to detect the incorrect. Perspective flexibility is our friend. It's not always easy to change the way you look at things, but it always helps. -- doug smith

Keep Your "Yes" Ready

When we are frustrated it is tempting to say "no." When customers are unreasonable it is oh so easy to say "no." As a high performance leader and as someone who learns to balance clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion, you'll hold off on that "no" long enough to consider a useful "yes." A yes that will please your customer and you as well. A yes that builds a relationship bridge instead of constructing a negative wall of "no". Sometimes, instead of saying "no" we need to say what it would take for us to say "yes". You can always say "no" later if you need to. Keep that "yes" ready, though, and it will likely work out for the best. -- doug smith

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