doug smith training

  How do you feel about being misunderstood? It makes me frustrated, but I've learned that being frustrated in someone else's inability to understand me has no pay-off. Instead, the opportunity is to clarify how I'm communicating what I want to say. If they didn't get it, I need to try something else. I could say it in a different way, or use a story to illustrate, or identify data that supports the message, or let them tell me first to see what they already know...many ways to clarify and clarify we must. We are so often misunderstood that we must work extra hard to be precisely clear in our meaning. We can always do that, and it's not likely that someone else will do it for you.  Clarify! -- doug smith

How does it feel to firmly believe that you're right about something, only to discover that, no, you're not? I hate that. Whether it is assuming that one terrific interview means that I've just hired a superstar (sometimes yes, sometimes NO) or assuming that a good kiss starts a great relationship, assumptions have often gotten me in trouble. Assuming that someone (or even a group) agrees with you, just because they don't object. Maybe they do, and maybe they don't. Assuming that customers will buy your product or service because it's just so fabulous. Are you sure? Assuming that you've got it all figured out because of your depth of experience. What about the unexpected? I caution you about all of these assumptions because I've made them all (and more.) I'm not perfect, but I'm learning. Assumptions are risky. Unless we clarify our assumptions we could be deceiving ourselves and not even know it. We wouldn't want that , would we? -- doug smi

Companies sometimes post their espoused values. Do they really live by them? It depends on the company. It's worth asking questions, with curiosity, to see if they really do live by those values. Questions like: what does integrity mean to you? how do you create an environment of development and support? how do you make sure that equal opportunity is an active part of your culture? how do you balance competition and cooperation in your company? can you give me an example of a time when your organization was tempted to do something that would have been good for profit but bad for people? what did you do? Values sound great. Values sound uplifting and noble. It is important to make sure that they are real. The problem with shared values is that they are so rarely shared. Check to be sure. -- doug smith

When was the last time that you misunderstood someone? It might have been more recent than you think. We are all misunderstood sometimes. Without clarifying and confirming, we are misunderstood far too many times. Remember, most of the time we misunderstand something we are not aware of our misunderstanding. Clarify constantly. -- doug smith