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Showing posts with the label deeper conversations

Finding Deeper Conversations

We talk at the surface level (when we do talk!) most of the time. The good stuff, the material and the feelings and the knowledge that can help us the most is deeper. Baring our souls. Opening our hearts. Exercising our minds. Why don't we do more of that? As leaders, we should be experts at facilitating deeper conversations. We should create the space for people to feel safe, open, and free to say what they think and feel. We may not agree with them, and given enough time to think and feel openly, they might not even feel that way, either. When we take the time to express, listen, and process, then can get to a deeper place surrounded by better results. Taking a conversation deeper may feel risky but that's where the gold is. Deeper! -- doug smith

Tell The Truth

The truth can stand any level of inquiry. When in doubt, tell the truth. When under duress, tell the truth. When your courage is low, tell the truth. Keep kindness in mind. Stay open to other perceptions. But please, tell the truth. -- doug smith

Leadership Conversations: Relationship Building

What are your leadership conversations about? High performance leaders conduct all kinds of conversations -- around performance, goals, aspirations, tasks, schedules, development, customer service, process improvement...all KINDS of conversations. Something every high performance leadership conversation needs is time to build the relationship. Unhurried. Deeper conversations. Getting to know your people. That's one reason why two-thirds of the three part conversations we help develop at doug smith training contain relationship building: 1. Small talk 2. Big talk (goals, performance, etc.) 3. Appreciation You could think of it as a performance sandwich but that's not all of it. The "bread" of that sandwich is all about getting to know each other better, spending meaningful time together, and bonding in such a way that working together becomes easier and more effective. You're still the boss. You still get to decide in the end. But, as you get t...

Ask For A Deeper Conversation

You've been there -- stuck in small talk. Circles upon circles of who-cares kind of banter. Sports, the weather, political situations you can't change. Blabber. I don't wait for it to change on its own, because it won't, unless you're talking with a highly skilled conversationalist. And, if you're not, it's up to you. Take the conversation deeper. Ask questions. Find out how your conversational partner feels. Find out what they think. Dig deeper. It's as if you are conducting the best interview ever, with no secret agenda. You're not there to embarrass or expose anyone -- you just want to understand them. And, only after THAT has happened, help them to understand you as well. Ask for a deeper conversation and see what happens. Show the way. I find that my CLUES to success helps here: - Create agreements - Listen with curiosity - Understand the facts and feelings - Express yourself clearly and positively - Share responsibility for su...

Energize Your Team With Your Attention

How much attention are you giving your team? One of the toughest lessons I learned when I was a beginning supervisor was to give my people enough attention. The struggling performers need attention. The superstars need challenges and support. Everyone on the team needed something, even when (especially when) they didn't make those needs clear. High performance leaders find ways to give each team member the attention needed. Attention is useful. Attention is immediate. Attention is critical. Attention is the sincerest form of energizing your people.  Energize your team. Give them the attention that they need. What's the best and easiest way to do that? Talk about it. Initiate conversations with each team member. Take the talking just a little deeper than usual. Talk about what matters. Ask how they feel. Listen to their hopes, their goals, their motivations. That kind of attention is pure magic. -- Doug Smith

Make The Call

Whose turn is it to call? Is there someone in your life who is important to you, but who you haven't talked to for a while? Who called who last? It doesn't matter. It's not a score keeping call. Make the call. My closest friend in the world reminded me today that the phone goes both ways. We talk a lot on the phone, and she was wondering when the last time was that I called my son. Too long if it wasn't today. So I called him. And he's fine. And the next time I'm asked when was the last time I've talked to him, the answer will be easy to come up with. Don't wait. Make the call. You'll be glad that you did. Doug Smith

Problem Solving Requires Better Communication

When you work to solve a problem, what work do you put into improving communication? How much of your problem solving action plan is focused on communication? Communication matters. Few problems can be truly permanently solved unless there is a change in how people communicate. What's your plan? You may not have solved the problem unless you've also improved or enhanced communication. What does enhanced communication look like? Better, deeper conversations. More trusting relationships. More powerful presentations. More productive meetings. When project managers do an outstanding job of delivering on their project and solving a problem, they improve communication along the way. What are you doing to improve your communication today? -- Doug Smith Front Range Leadership:  High Performance Leadership Training doug smith training:  helping people communicate more effectively What have you learned today?

Talk About Possibilities

Do you focus mainly on possibilities or on limitations? We need people who focus on limitations so that we can determine how to overcome them or avoid frustrating our efforts. We need people who focus on possibilities because the answers are out there, we just need to find them. There are always better ways to communicate. There are always better solutions. There are always new ways to bring joy and to reduce suffering. These are all in the possibilities that we develop. I'd much rather talk about possibilities than limitations . Often, by expanding possibilities we overcome what we had perceived to be as limitations. We can get creative. We can patiently pursue perfection without judging our imperfections. Possibilities are our future. Without thinking critically of those who think critically, I like the expanded (and expanding) view. What's your view? -- Doug Smith

Work Through The Fear

Are there conversations that scare you? It's easy to quote Eleanor Roosevelt and say "face into your fears" but the reality is that there are some conversations that freeze us. Some discussions that put us off, so we put them off. I know that I have missed some vital conversational opportunities. I expect that to change. If we want better conversations, we need to initiate them when the opportunity emerges (not when we feel like it, right then and there). Let's keep the conversation going. Let's talk when we need to talk. Let's build our relationships, our teams, and our organizations using much more effective communication. It takes hard work, it takes courage, but as I have recently discovered in many startling ways, how you communicate is who you are. Who you are to yourself, who you are to other people, the who of you that you create. It's big. It's scary. It's critically important. I'm willing to work through the fear of a tough conv...

Leverage Your Conversations

How much of your daily conversations do you find useful? So much of what we say to each other is small talk. We make friendly banter, or not (more and more we see people simply staring into their phones). How much more could we get out of our conversations? How much deeper could we go? Every conversation is an opportunity to solve a problem or achieve a goal. It just might not be your problem or goal. It could be someone else's. It could be your conversational partner's. Are you willing to leverage your conversations more and accomplish more in the process? Or is that phone calling you again? -- Doug Smith