Leadership Conversations: Relationship Building

What are your leadership conversations about?

High performance leaders conduct all kinds of conversations -- around performance, goals, aspirations, tasks, schedules, development, customer service, process improvement...all KINDS of conversations. Something every high performance leadership conversation needs is time to build the relationship.

Unhurried. Deeper conversations. Getting to know your people.

That's one reason why two-thirds of the three part conversations we help develop at doug smith training contain relationship building:

1. Small talk
2. Big talk (goals, performance, etc.)
3. Appreciation

You could think of it as a performance sandwich but that's not all of it. The "bread" of that sandwich is all about getting to know each other better, spending meaningful time together, and bonding in such a way that working together becomes easier and more effective.

You're still the boss. You still get to decide in the end. But, as you get to know your people better you'll see how they are becoming more ready to make their own decisions, to take on their own challenges, to lead on their own.

Leaders drive change and change disrupts. People get flustered. Feathers get ruffled. How do your people know that you're still on their side when you challenge them beyond their cozy comfort zone?

Talk about it. We can't tell what something means to our relationship until we talk about it.

Talk about it.

-- doug smith

Leadership Calls to Action:

Stay curious
Turn toward all offers to connect (when your people want to talk today, talk. Today.)

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Seriously

If you take your goals seriously they will take you where you need to go. -- doug smith

The Games We Play

Last week I had some fun, with two different classes, in an activity to re-invent games with no losers. The only other condition was that each game also had to be fun. As it turns out, competition is not necessary in order to have fun. The creativity won the day as games developed without any losers. Imagine that. Playing a game without disappointment. Playing a game of cooperation, of collaboration, of mutually beneficial outcomes. It's possible. It's fun. And, there are no side-effects. The games we play form us in ways we may not expect. If we can invent more games, more situations, more relationships where everybody wins imagine what a world that would be. -- doug smith

Early Is Great

When is the best time to achieve a goal? Achieving a goal on time, on the deadline, is great. What's even better? Achieving a goal early. It's the surest way to achieve it at all. Early is great, so you're never late. -- doug smith

Better Representation

The best customer service comes from products and services that work flawlessly and do not require heroics from the customer OR the service rep. -- doug smith

Competition?

I often ask my classes "What's the difference between conflict and problem solving?". The leading answer is "competition." Conflict is a problem with opposing solutions. Two opposing goals. Competition. That can still be resolved, but it may need to be managed. Recognizing what you've got is a good start. -- Doug Smith

Personal Reminder

If you think about something that needs to be done but don't do it now, when will you do it? Now would be good. Now is the time. -- doug smith

Of Course...

Are you on course to achieve your biggest goals? Is your plan in motion and working? Of course! Will you need to make some adjustments along the way? Of course! If your goal really matters -- to you with some intensity, you will do what you need to do in order to achieve that goal. If it doesn't really matter, there's almost nothing to be done. You need the joy. You need the spark. You need the course of action that lights you up so much that it lights up your path to success. The reason for your goal is as important as your goal. Why does your goal matter? Why now? Why you? Does that level of focus really make a difference? Of course! -- doug smith

Up to You

Other people can help, but achieving your goals is up to you. -- doug smith

A Touch of the Poet

Highly structured? Wildly improvised? Harmonic, or distorted? Fast or slow? Analytics help, but there's nothing quite like a touch of the poet in solving problems. The deep pondering, the pedantic piecing together, the frantic splash of passion. Whether or not they know it every problem solver has a touch of the poet. Are you in touch with your touch of the poet? -- doug smith

A Daily Goal

Some people take a vitamin every day. Some people read a passage from a favorite book every day. Positive daily habits support a successful life. Set a goal at least once a day and then achieve that goal. It builds the kind of momentum that leads to wonderful things. And you do want wonderful things, right? -- doug smith

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