Leadership Conversations: Relationship Building

What are your leadership conversations about?

High performance leaders conduct all kinds of conversations -- around performance, goals, aspirations, tasks, schedules, development, customer service, process improvement...all KINDS of conversations. Something every high performance leadership conversation needs is time to build the relationship.

Unhurried. Deeper conversations. Getting to know your people.

That's one reason why two-thirds of the three part conversations we help develop at doug smith training contain relationship building:

1. Small talk
2. Big talk (goals, performance, etc.)
3. Appreciation

You could think of it as a performance sandwich but that's not all of it. The "bread" of that sandwich is all about getting to know each other better, spending meaningful time together, and bonding in such a way that working together becomes easier and more effective.

You're still the boss. You still get to decide in the end. But, as you get to know your people better you'll see how they are becoming more ready to make their own decisions, to take on their own challenges, to lead on their own.

Leaders drive change and change disrupts. People get flustered. Feathers get ruffled. How do your people know that you're still on their side when you challenge them beyond their cozy comfort zone?

Talk about it. We can't tell what something means to our relationship until we talk about it.

Talk about it.

-- doug smith

Leadership Calls to Action:

Stay curious
Turn toward all offers to connect (when your people want to talk today, talk. Today.)

Comments

Human Problems

Any problem created by a human can be solved by a human. I wrote that long before AI started solving problems for us. Many days it feels like we will soon not even need to solve our own problems at all because AI will do it for us. Honestly, we know better than that, right? For as long as it's still true, humans can still solve human problems. Let's do that. -- doug smith

Clear Improvement

The best we can do is not yet the best we can do. Improvement is part of everyone's job and leaders must make that abundantly clear. -- doug smith

How's Your Reputation

How important do you think it is to sustain a positive leadership reputation? It matters to your team. It matters to any future team that you might be leading. Your reputation tells a story about how you operate, how you facilitate and how you achieve your results. Leading positive change builds credibility. Making a difference right now builds credibility. Keeping your promises and showing care for others establishes the kind of character that people want to work with and maybe even follow. What positive change are you currently working on? -- doug smith

Creatively Human

In a world where anything can be duplicated, create what cannot be duplicated. -- doug smith

Extremes

Do you know what it is like to work for an unreasonable boss? When no matter what you do is ever good enough it can become demotivating, even crippling. We do need to challenge our teams, but not to esteem crushing extremes. Unreasonable expectations cause disappointment. High performance? Yes. Perfect performance? Not attainable. -- doug smith

Where to Start?

It's harder to solve a problem alone when you are at the center of the problem. Get another perspective. Stay open to your own part of the problem. Sometimes, deep into the search, we discover that we could be the cause. Start with reflection. It could provide direction. -- doug smith

Strategic Secrets?

If you have to keep it a secret it's not as much in your control as you think it is. Every secret eventually becomes revealed. -- doug smith

Positive Value

If it does not support you, allow it to strengthen you. -- doug smith

No Victims

There will be offers, heading your way in obvious as well as subtle channels. Strong looking barriers. Refusals to see you. Efforts to take advantage of you. That's not meant for you, no matter how strong someone else's intentions imply that it is. Decline any opportunity to be a victim. It does not suit you. -- doug smith

Problem Players

Every problem has at least two players and both must embrace change. If you want to fix a problem, something must change. If you want to achieve a goal, something must change. Every player in every situation must deal with that, whether or not they know it. -- doug smith

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