Leadership Conversations: Relationship Building

What are your leadership conversations about?

High performance leaders conduct all kinds of conversations -- around performance, goals, aspirations, tasks, schedules, development, customer service, process improvement...all KINDS of conversations. Something every high performance leadership conversation needs is time to build the relationship.

Unhurried. Deeper conversations. Getting to know your people.

That's one reason why two-thirds of the three part conversations we help develop at doug smith training contain relationship building:

1. Small talk
2. Big talk (goals, performance, etc.)
3. Appreciation

You could think of it as a performance sandwich but that's not all of it. The "bread" of that sandwich is all about getting to know each other better, spending meaningful time together, and bonding in such a way that working together becomes easier and more effective.

You're still the boss. You still get to decide in the end. But, as you get to know your people better you'll see how they are becoming more ready to make their own decisions, to take on their own challenges, to lead on their own.

Leaders drive change and change disrupts. People get flustered. Feathers get ruffled. How do your people know that you're still on their side when you challenge them beyond their cozy comfort zone?

Talk about it. We can't tell what something means to our relationship until we talk about it.

Talk about it.

-- doug smith

Leadership Calls to Action:

Stay curious
Turn toward all offers to connect (when your people want to talk today, talk. Today.)

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Build and Connect

The world is full of "buts" in search of more "ands." In improv. In leadership. In life. Let go of the fear and build on what's here. -- doug smith

Be Careful of Your Measures

Peter Drucker once said "what gets measured gets done" and there is much truth to that. Point people in the direction you want and they will do their best to get there. Just make sure, very sure, that you are measure what you really want and doing it without creating paths to cheating your way there. Given an incentive, people will find a way to achieve it. Most will work fairly but some will be tempted to game the. system, to stack the deck, to churn the number on their own behalf. That's not what you want. Ask yourself this question: how can we measure quantity and quality without gaming the system? Until you've answered that question, you'll never know how accurate, or useful, the measure is. -- doug smith

Sizing Our Influence

Our influence is usually smaller than we want it to be but greater than we realize. That's a good thing because humility helps our influence grow. -- doug smith

What's Your Creative Prompt?

The best place to wait for inspiration is in a place where it is certain to show up. Where is that for you? Onstage? Backstage? Greenroom? Workplace? Library? Laboratory? It could be your office, the factory floor, your work vehicle, anyplace where creativity is welcome. Your creative prompt can be solo and it can be in groups of people, too. Your best creative prompt is within you. How about this -- wherever you are, bring your inspiration with you. -- doug smith

Five Whys vs. Fishbone

Every once in a while a great article that explains an idea well appears that is worth sharing. This is one example, from HRDQ: Five Whys vs. Fishbone Diagrams for Root Cause Analysis . The article is worth reading but in brief, it describes two powerful and commonly used root cause analysis tools and how to use them. It makes a convincing case that it is not exactly one vs. the other -- start with the classic Fishbone diagram. If you uncover what appears to be one dominant cause path, drill down on that path using the 5 Whys. That's the order: 1. Fishbone 2. Five Whys I use variations of each of these tools in our workshops on Creative Problem Solving. The common versions are still effective and will save you time in problem solving. The root cause analysis is essential. Done properly and thoroughly it will prevent you from chasing solutions that do not actually solve the problem. What problem are you working on today? Have you identified the root cause? -- doug smith

Practice Again

Neglect is not neutral. Power comes from practice. Know it. Show it. Do it again. -- doug smith

Acceptance vs. Endorsement

Accepting a truth does not mean endorsing it. Sometimes it really is what it is. Until you change it. -- doug smith

We're All Imperfect

It is challenging to be a perfectionist. Continuous improvement is noble and necessary. Perfect is impossible. I picture myself, as John Wesley said, on the road to perfection and never quite there. Imperfection is a condition, not a punishment. We all make mistakes. Let's just fix them. -- doug smith

Speedy, Pause

Speed is great. It overcomes indifference, it outruns hesitation, it gets things started. It can also lead to mistakes. Sometimes a mistake comes from moving too fast. Pause. Practice patiently to filter out the flaws. -- doug smith

Exploring "Purple on Purpose"

What if there was a way to bridge the divide we all feel everyday, especially in our political views? What if there was a skill that could help people connect meaningfully by listening first, keeping judgment at bay, and finding common ground? UnScripted Products posed that question and launched a pilot workshop to explore ways to communicate more satisfyingly thru improv. I've been blessed with many opportunities to practice improv with truly fabulous, sincere, and creative people all over the USA -- in New Jersey, Chicago, Michigan, Colorado, Pennsylvania -- all over. Each improv group brings their own spark and joy. One wonderful feature of participating in different improv groups is that it does not feel like we are competing with each other because improv is a community. That makes it just about a perfect model for improving communication, crossing polarized divides, and recognizing people for the marvelously complicated but at heart well-intentioned beings that ...

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