doug smith training

Some of the best conversations I have ever been part of started a bit on the excited side. Well, to be honest, they might have been way over the side and into stormy territory. Elevated emotions and loud tones of voice. That is not my preference. I like calm. I like quiet. But, more than that I like understanding. I like to understand the people I talk with and I love it when they understand me. Sometimes that starts and ends calmly and sometimes that includes a little spice. Keep talking.  That's what I've learned. When it feels hard to say, keep talking. When you're so excited that you can hardly keep the words moving forward, keep talking. When the wrong words emerge and you instantly regret it, keep talking. Breathe. Smile (when you can!) and keep talking. Pause generously to listen. Listen to slow your talking down and truly hear what else is being said. Let it season you, inform you, calm you. Listen, and then talk. If you can't talk calmly, keep talking until you...

I do recommend reading the book. It will help you handle conversations that feel like confrontations and to do it in ways that honor everyone in the conversation. In the meantime, watching this quick summary video from The Productivity Game will give you immediately useful tips on navigating those crucial conversations.

What does your team think of your character? Do they know and understand your values? Would they say that you are living those values, every day? We work hard at what we do. Leading has its glorious days and it has its tough days. No matter how hard you work, unless your character -- how you behave -- is trustworthy and noble, people will know. If your character turns people away, who will you lead? People will forget your work if your character flaws get in the way. No people are perfect -- not you, not me -- but I do my best to live each day with character and integrity. How about you? -- doug smith Leadership Call to Action: Have a three-part conversation with someone on your team today about one of your values. How to do the three-part conversation: Small talk Talk about one of your values and what makes it important Appreciation for something that team member does that demonstrates that value or some aspect of that value

We live at a time defined by our differences. Arguments prevail. Dialogue, once so vibrant, is often disturbed by the percussive discussions of differing views. These differing views could lead to valuable insights, if we were just able and willing to examine our differences. What if we could share our perspectives without judging each other? It could start by opening up, by telling more about who each of us really is inside. Where do the things we say come from? What makes us who we are? Tell your story. Tell your views. Share your perspective. When we can do that with an open mind, any level of communication becomes possible. Who will know who you really are unless you tell them? Talk about it. Then, listen. -- doug smith

How good are your listening skills? If you listen first, communicating your message becomes much easier. When does listening matter? Listening comes first when you want: -- More productive meetings -- Deeper conversations -- True dialogue -- More powerful presentations -- Coaching -- Conflict resolution -- Creative writing Listening matters. How will you listen more effectively today? -- Doug Smith

"It wasn't my fault." "I wasn't even there." "I think it happened on the other shift." "They are always messing things up." Who's to blame? When things go wrong, when a customer gets angry, when a supplier raises prices, when things don't go as you planned. Who's to blame? Will it even help if you could pin that down to one person? Will pouring guilt or punishment on a person solve your problem? Probably not. But people do it all the time. It becomes part of the conversation before we even realize it.  Blaming others is so easy that many people don't even know they are doing it. What if we stopped blaming others? What if instead, we worked together to find solutions, better ways of doing things, and ways to avoid what caused our problem to begin with? It's OK to find constructive suggestions to offer to people who need it. But they need more. And problems need more in order to solve. To arrive at ou...

A creative problem solving activity. Purpose: Create deep conversations around perceived truths. Materials:  Talking stick or microphone. Seating:  Circle Process: As we travel thru life we learn a few things. Things we were once certain about change and feel less certain. Things we did not believe or know emerge as our new truth. Do you believe in lasting truth? Do you hold a few beliefs that you feel will stand the test of time? Follow the CLUES for Success guidelines and when it is your turn, share 3 to 5 beliefs that you think are certain. Options: To prime the pump, share some “certainties” from others in short phrases or quotes. Some  examples: (Doug’s list) • The truth will always bubble to the top. • God is love. • Everything is personal. • Nothing is ever off-the-record. Expand: A. Use recording equipment to create a visual record of people providing their wisdom. As a group, edit and produce a film. B. Play wit...