Keep Talking

Some of the best conversations I have ever been part of started a bit on the excited side. Well, to be honest, they might have been way over the side and into stormy territory. Elevated emotions and loud tones of voice.

That is not my preference. I like calm. I like quiet. But, more than that I like understanding. I like to understand the people I talk with and I love it when they understand me. Sometimes that starts and ends calmly and sometimes that includes a little spice.

Keep talking.

That's what I've learned. When it feels hard to say, keep talking. When you're so excited that you can hardly keep the words moving forward, keep talking. When the wrong words emerge and you instantly regret it, keep talking.

Breathe. Smile (when you can!) and keep talking. Pause generously to listen. Listen to slow your talking down and truly hear what else is being said. Let it season you, inform you, calm you. Listen, and then talk.

If you can't talk calmly, keep talking until you can. Take time to breathe and then...keep talking.

-- doug smith

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Get Started

Have you ever gotten resistance to a goal that you really wanted to achieve? Maybe someone told you that you weren't capable. Maybe someone told you that the goal was wrong for you, or unachievable. What do they know? Your goals are important no matter what anyone says. Get started when you're ready. -- doug smith

Get Help Solving That Problem

Do you try to do everything on your own? If you're part of a team, and especially if you are leading a team, it goes better by collaborating. Working together. Helping each other. People like to be connected. What better time to strengthen your connections than when you have a problem? You don't need everyone in the world to help you solve a problem but you probably do need someone. Find out who that is, and get them involved. Besides, it is way more fun that way, too. -- doug smith

A Sign to Learn

What's your reaction when you find yourself in conflict and yet you are absolutely sure that you're right? Do you dig in on your position? Do you redouble your efforts to convince everyone of your position? Or do you stay curious? Do you stay open to learning? The more certain I am that I'm right the greater the opportunity there is to learn. The next time you are absolutely sure that you're right try asking yourself -- what can I still learn here? It could change everything. -- Douglas Brent Smith

Connect With Respect

It's the start of a better, deeper, more productive conversation. It's the small effort to make a big impression in establishing relationship. Connect with respect. You don't have to love the person you're interacting with (although, wouldn't that help?) but if you make the effort to demonstrate respect whatever you have to share will land with more credibility. It is a leadership strength. Connect with respect. Smile. Make eye contact. Listen. Honor customs, traditions, even organizational hierarchy. The choice of course is up to you. It's a very personal choice to connect with respect. If you make that choice, I think you will like the results. -- doug smith PS: I didn't expect to use a picture featuring a horse for this posting but when I saw it there was a deep feeling a respect showing. Action Step: Find a picture that represents respect for you and for a week, keep it close enough to look at it for a bit every day.

Work With The Team You've Got

Maybe you inherited your team. Maybe your team just lost a key player. The game goes on. You've got to keep playing, keep producing, and keep developing your team. Work with the team you've got. When you do, they will astound you. -- doug smith

Healthy Leaders

How many eighty-hour work weeks do you put in? That's not meant to judge, but to ponder. I've put in plenty of eighty and more hour work weeks and while I don't regret any of them I know that they haven't all paid-off proportionately. It's possible to work so hard that you miss what's important. It's a frequent paradox that the longer one works the less productive they become. I've learned to tell myself: Take a break. Relax. Let it all come to you, flow thru you, and go on its merry way -- if only for a little while. Drink water, exercise, meditate, pray, and relax. Healthy leaders build healthy teams. Take care of yourself. -- doug smith

Nothing Cranky

Work your goals but make your goals serve you. No one needs a goal that makes them cranky. -- doug smith

The Seat of the Situation

Problems are complicated. We need to think clearly about them, to analyze their causes. We also need to act quickly because, oddly or not, some solutions expire. Sit, or move? Think, or act? This isn't a universal assertion, but maybe one with value: the situation isn't entirely the problem, and the problem isn't entirely the situation. As closely as cause and effect may nest, there are likely other causes, other effects worth considering. It's a bit like widening the circle in a jam session. Yes, the new instruments complicate things, and yes, sometimes the notes are discordant, but oh! the miracle of the unexpected harmonies can make the how piece better. That's the situation. What if it existed before the problem, and needs to exist beyond the problem? We can sit with a problem without making that problem the entire situation. What do you think? -- doug smith ps: The drawing is only partially related. It't a situation. It's a problem. I drew this danci...

Roots of Their Own

What looks like the root cause of a problem may have roots of its own. Keep digging. The rush to solve may leave things unresolved. -- doug smith

No Let Down

I remember getting a big let-down after a show would close, or a project would end, or a movie would wrap...anything really important that I'd been working on. All that work. All that focus. All that energy. And, then suddenly it's done. But that was then. That was too much focus on the outcome and not enough on the process. Because the end comes and goes, but the process can continue. The process of creating, of learning, of growing. The best part of achieving your goals is enjoying the journey, and then you avoid any big left-down at the end. The journey, the process -- that's the joy. -- doug smith

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