Leave Blame Behind

"It wasn't my fault."

"I wasn't even there."

"I think it happened on the other shift."

"They are always messing things up."

Who's to blame? When things go wrong, when a customer gets angry, when a supplier raises prices, when things don't go as you planned. Who's to blame?

Will it even help if you could pin that down to one person? Will pouring guilt or punishment on a person solve your problem? Probably not.

But people do it all the time. It becomes part of the conversation before we even realize it.

Blaming others is so easy that many people don't even know they are doing it.

What if we stopped blaming others? What if instead, we worked together to find solutions, better ways of doing things, and ways to avoid what caused our problem to begin with?

It's OK to find constructive suggestions to offer to people who need it. But they need more. And problems need more in order to solve.

To arrive at our best possible outcome, we need to work together and attack the situation, not the person. How can we change the process, the procedure, the design, or the environment to make sure that we solve our problems and build more success? What exactly should we be doing to optimize our results?

The next time you catch yourself assigning blame (rightly or wrongly) what would it be like if instead you initiated a conversation about how to make things better?

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Sizing Our Influence

Our influence is usually smaller than we want it to be but greater than we realize. That's a good thing because humility helps our influence grow. -- doug smith

Acceptance vs. Endorsement

Accepting a truth does not mean endorsing it. Sometimes it really is what it is. Until you change it. -- doug smith

Build and Connect

The world is full of "buts" in search of more "ands." In improv. In leadership. In life. Let go of the fear and build on what's here. -- doug smith

Instincts?

Many leaders like to rely on their instincts. It's easy. It feels right. With enough experience, sometimes those instincts are spot on. But not always. If you want to trust an instinct make sure that you now and can trust the source of that instinct. Is it real? Is it relevant? Is it recent? Feelings are great, but show me the data every time. -- doug smith

We're All Imperfect

It is challenging to be a perfectionist. Continuous improvement is noble and necessary. Perfect is impossible. I picture myself, as John Wesley said, on the road to perfection and never quite there. Imperfection is a condition, not a punishment. We all make mistakes. Let's just fix them. -- doug smith

Some of What It Takes

Leadership is hard. Challenges peck away at us, demanding response. I don't have all of the answers (who does?) but this might help a little. A little advice to myself that I am happy to share. It takes clarity to know where you are going, creativity to inspire new ways to get there, compassion to help those who are in you way, and courage to stay the course even in the face of opposition. Which of those strengths do you excel in the most? What's your secret to leadership success? -- doug smith

Diplomatic Strategy

I'd like to follow Abraham Lincoln's approach of turning enemies into friends. That wasn't easy for him and clearly did not always work. It doesn't always work for me, either. If someone is determined to remain your enemy it is tough to change their minds. Difficult, but not impossible. The temptation is to chase them away, or to run quietly in the opposite direction and hope that it works out on its own. It seldom works out on its own. If you chase your enemy away you won't know what they're up to. Keep the conversation going. Find out what their goal is. Look for common ground. Hey, I know that is not easy. But, how well has the alternative worked so far? And how how far can you run before your enemy finds you? -- doug smith

Shake It Up

Inspiration has its own time table, but sometimes we have to shake up the clock. Maybe instead of waiting for inspiration we should meet it halfway. How else will it ever find you? -- doug smith

Portable

Leadership, no matter how much it is intended to be permanent, is temporary. A day comes when the direction changes, the dance shifts, and the once stable boss is lost. Lost in direction, lost in relevance, lost in the times. What if we kept our leadership portable? Leadership could be fluid, flexible, and responsive as it remains centered. As circumstances change, our leadership must flow with it while finding the strength of a foundation without the chains of stagnation. That's not easy but it's part of the art of leadership. Partly science, partly art, leadership requires us to know when it's time to stand and know when it's time to flow, and yes even know when it's time to go. Portable is more powerful than authority if authority is not portable. We don't need to ask for change in order for change to change us. -- doug smith

Exploring "Purple on Purpose"

What if there was a way to bridge the divide we all feel everyday, especially in our political views? What if there was a skill that could help people connect meaningfully by listening first, keeping judgment at bay, and finding common ground? UnScripted Products posed that question and launched a pilot workshop to explore ways to communicate more satisfyingly thru improv. I've been blessed with many opportunities to practice improv with truly fabulous, sincere, and creative people all over the USA -- in New Jersey, Chicago, Michigan, Colorado, Pennsylvania -- all over. Each improv group brings their own spark and joy. One wonderful feature of participating in different improv groups is that it does not feel like we are competing with each other because improv is a community. That makes it just about a perfect model for improving communication, crossing polarized divides, and recognizing people for the marvelously complicated but at heart well-intentioned beings that ...

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