Leave Blame Behind

"It wasn't my fault."

"I wasn't even there."

"I think it happened on the other shift."

"They are always messing things up."

Who's to blame? When things go wrong, when a customer gets angry, when a supplier raises prices, when things don't go as you planned. Who's to blame?

Will it even help if you could pin that down to one person? Will pouring guilt or punishment on a person solve your problem? Probably not.

But people do it all the time. It becomes part of the conversation before we even realize it.

Blaming others is so easy that many people don't even know they are doing it.

What if we stopped blaming others? What if instead, we worked together to find solutions, better ways of doing things, and ways to avoid what caused our problem to begin with?

It's OK to find constructive suggestions to offer to people who need it. But they need more. And problems need more in order to solve.

To arrive at our best possible outcome, we need to work together and attack the situation, not the person. How can we change the process, the procedure, the design, or the environment to make sure that we solve our problems and build more success? What exactly should we be doing to optimize our results?

The next time you catch yourself assigning blame (rightly or wrongly) what would it be like if instead you initiated a conversation about how to make things better?

-- Doug Smith

Comments

Constructive Feedback

Wouldn't it be nice if the only feedback we got was all positive? Our self-esteem would be so happy. Our confidence would be flying high. Work would be wonderful! The problem is, the mistakes we make, the opportunities we miss, the offenses we offer would go unchecked leading to - gulp - worse performance. Yes, we love the positive feedback. I can run a week on one "good job!" We also really need the constructive comments. Ready or not, we can always improve. Asking only for positive feedback sounds comforting but it's wrong. We need to ask for feedback and handle it, positive or not. If we do not receive any constructive feedback, as high performance leaders we owe it to ourselves and our teams to ask for it. It's also true when it comes to delivering feedback. Our constructive feedback for others may make them uncomfortable. Our observations of behavior may run counter to their self-evaluation. As leaders, we owe it to people to help them improve, to lead them t

Master Something...

Are you good at everything? Me, either. The list of people who are good at everything is short. That's OK. You don't need to master everything, but you DO need to master something. What are you working on to master these days? -- doug smith

About Your Attitude

How is your attitude today? I'm sure that you've already encountered someone with a healthy attitude and also someone with a less than healthy attitude -- and how has that affected you? There are more things in this life out of our control than there are things IN our control, but attitude fits right there within your own control. Not what other people express in their voice, tone, and body language, but what YOU do control in your thinking, interpretation, response, speaking, and actions. You are the number one specialist for your own attitude and it shows. Treat your attitude well, love it fully, nature it daily, and let it shine. It just might upgrade the attitude of those around you, too. -- doug smith

Paying Attention

How you grow is up to you, but you can learn a lot from how others have already grown. You can skip many of the same mistakes. You can build where they have established a foundation. You can grow by developing similar healthy habits. Growth never needs to stop. How are you growing today? -- doug smith

Now

One brilliant, fabulous, wonderful moment: now. -- doug smith

No disrespect?

Give disrespect the attention it deserves: none. That does not mean that you accept abuse, illegal, or unethical behavior. It just means that disrespect does not earn respect. I advocate starting from a position of respect. We do well to respect everyone from the start. Respect people in the way we greet them, treat them, and (when in competition) beat them. When someone does not return that respect, or when they begin from a place of disrespect, we don't have to get angry, but we do have to get active. Often the fastest way to get active when confronted with disrespect is to disappear. Leave. Stop honoring that person with your presence if their only goal is to do you harm. Leaving isn't always possible or recommended when you or others are in danger. Then, opposition to that disrespect may be necessary. Not to create harm or revenge, but to create safety and honor. Is that easy? Oh, no. You already know that. Is it necessary? More than ever. How do we do it? By beginning --

Your Powerful Attitude

You are the number one specialist for your own attitude. Treat it well, love it fully, let it shine. Even when others try to disrupt or destroy your attitude, it is still within your control. How powerful is this? Sometimes it makes all the difference between misery and happiness. Why not choose happiness? -- doug smith

Not too short

We like things short. To the point. Skip the filler. Brief is good, but sometimes deep is necessary. Deep takes longer at first, but eventually produces more -- when it's needed. -- doug smith

Video: Marshall Goldsmith and Feed Forward

From Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, Executive Coach, comes this is a great way to share fast, low risk coaching with a number of people. The three steps are simple and easy: Write down an area you'd like to improve that would have a big impact for you Ask for 2 positive suggestions for the future that would help with that area Repeat getting positive suggestions from others in the group There are two simple roles for the process: No talking about the past No judging or critiquing ideas Here's Dr. Goldsmith describing the process in one of his highly useful videos: I found this article and video from one of my favorite sources of leadership advice, GetLighthouse.com, here .

How to compliment someone...

Do you want to really compliment someone and make them feel truly valued, really respected? Giving someone your complete attention is the best, most sincere compliment. You'll feel great, and they will remember it a long time. -- doug smith

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