doug smith training

Did your most recent rude customer ruin your day? It doesn't have to be that way. Customers these days ARE tougher than ever. Their highly emotional outbursts can impact any attempts to provide good service. As a result, poorly behaved customers often get WORSE service than they would have otherwise. When I managed a customer service shop I often told my team members, "you may have to tolerate occasional rudeness sparked by emotions, but you  NEVER have to tolerate abuse." End the conversation, politely, and decisively. Suggest a better time to talk, when things have calmed down. Service does not require surrender. We're people, too. -- doug smith  

Whenever I ask a group the following question, the answer is a resounding "yes." Is there too much drama at work? Drama feeds on itself. People who crave the drama may not even know that they do, they simply repeat whatever it takes to make any situation emotional. Run out of supplies? It must be somebody's fault = drama! Behind schedule on that big project? = drama! Struggling with demanding and unreasonable customers? = drama! Drama creates tension that craves release -- which likely then drums up more drama. Breathe. Slow down. Skip the blame and play a new game -- one of cooperation, curiosity, and respect. My latest way of dealing with drama is simply to pause long enough to smile -- as I ponder: "Ah, I recognize this. Drama!" It's completely made-up, and it can be completely by-passed. ; Manage the drama so that it does not manage you.

Do you ever struggle with difficult people?  Don't we all? It can be frustrating -- so frustrating that we do our best to avoid confrontation. It can be so troubling that we try to put distance between ourselves and those difficult people. Or, it can be so troubling that we do everything we can to return that trouble -- to confront with strength and conviction. Either way, if someone feels like a difficult person, imagine how difficult the situation feels to them. Sometimes difficult people are most difficult to themselves. Maybe they need more help than confrontation. Isn't that worth considering? -- doug smith  

Whenever I ask the question "is there too much drama at work?" the answer is a resounding and nearly unanimous "yes!"  What do you think? Where does all that drama come from? Drama comes from conflict, from unmet needs, from interpersonal problems, from economic hardship, from overwork and overwhelm...drama comes from an endless supply of sources. But... Drama enters on our own invitation. You can have the problems and the drama, or you can simply deal with the problems and leave the drama where it belongs: in entertainment. Having worked for many years in entertainment I learned that drama is better left on the stage and we need better ways to meet the rage.  What do you think? -- doug smith  

Sometimes a flexible perspective comes in handy. It is a convenient way to reduce stress. For example, do you know anyone who drives you crazy? Someone who annoys you and creates tension in your life? Most of us do. Here's a little shift in flexible perspective: I like to think of the people who drive me crazy as the people who spark more learning. Since I'm all about learning, anything that sparks more learning must have value. It might not be easy learning, but still worth the experience. What do you think? -- doug smith

Sometimes people can get on your nerves. Interrupting, ignoring, disagreeing, even laughing at the wrong time can feel like an intended insult. Taking that kind of interaction as an insult, though, will not improve the quality of the interaction.  I like to think of the people who drive me crazy as the people who spark more learning.  It might not be the lesson they want to teach me that I learn, but there is certainly something there worth learning. If we missed all learning that wasn't fun we'd miss a whole lot of learning.  Those annoying learning opportunities are sometimes exactly what we need. -- doug smith ]

We are all deeply flawed people constantly choosing between improving or deceiving.  You are not fooled when you improve. No one else is fooled when you don't. -- doug smith

From Don Miller, author of StoryBrand, who shares brief, useful videos he calls Business Made Simple Daily. I find the insights so useful that I recommend subscribing. Most are only a couple of minutes long and can get your day off to great, ambitious, energetic start. This video is about gaining respect. One fast way is to deal more effectively with drama. Too often a situation is overly dramatized and while that can get attention, it can also lose respect. The fast way to gain respect? De-escalate drama and tension. Remain calm, pull away slightly, and imagine the least dramatic solution to the problem.

Do you avoid tough conversations? If we know that we need to talk something over, but avoid it because it makes us uneasy, the difficulty remains unresolved. If we avoid talking with someone because THEY are difficult to talk with (maybe they sulk, or yell, or roll their eyes...) the problem remains stuck AND it remains ours. That's not what leaders want. Taking the time to learn how to better communicate in those tough situations helps leaders to reach their team members, assert their needs with their bosses, and collaborate more successfully with their peers. It's a win for everyone when communication prospers with clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion. It's not easy. That's what differentiates high performance leaders. High performance leaders initiate the tough conversations that others avoid . It gets easier with training and practice, just like any other skill. And while tough conversations may never feel like a breeze, they are often the path to...

If your boss is rough on you, that could affect how rough you are on your own people, but it should not. Leaders don't get to hand down the trouble. Abuse shared is multiplied, not diminished. Having someone lose patience with you is no reason to lose patience with them. Centered leaders focus, breathe, and maintain. It's what you'd want, and therefore what to deliver. -- doug smith

Do you believe that you are appreciated enough? If so, you are probably lucky and have a healthy sense of self-esteem. Many people do NOT feel appreciated enough. Leaders often do a great job of applying pressure on their teams to achieve more. The results do improve. Does it matter how people feel about it? I think that it does matter. You can only push so long before the pushing leads to falling down. People can drift into being difficult because their lives have become difficult. The job is a big part of that. Too much pressure and release is unstoppable. That can make a person seem difficult. No one wants to feel taken for granted. We all crave appreciation. Some people crave far more than they ever receive, leaving a gap where something must fill the emptiness. That something could make the person seem troubling and difficult. It's hard to appreciate a difficult person, but until we do they are likely to stay difficult. -- doug smith