Initiate the Tough Conversations

Do you avoid tough conversations? If we know that we need to talk something over, but avoid it because it makes us uneasy, the difficulty remains unresolved. If we avoid talking with someone because THEY are difficult to talk with (maybe they sulk, or yell, or roll their eyes...) the problem remains stuck AND it remains ours. That's not what leaders want.

Taking the time to learn how to better communicate in those tough situations helps leaders to reach their team members, assert their needs with their bosses, and collaborate more successfully with their peers. It's a win for everyone when communication prospers with clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion.

It's not easy. That's what differentiates high performance leaders.

High performance leaders initiate the tough conversations that others avoid.

It gets easier with training and practice, just like any other skill. And while tough conversations may never feel like a breeze, they are often the path to better relationships and results.

Why not talk about it?

-- doug smith

Comments

Influence, Not Manipulation

This could be a whole book, but I'll keep it short. Every day is a struggle to influence and to avoid being manipulated. Both struggles impact each other. We need to be open to being influenced. Sometimes we're wrong. Sometimes our perspective shifts, our approach changes, our actions respond. But, manipulation is inconsiderate. Manipulation is disrespectful. Manipulation says "we don't trust you so we're going to make it hard for you to do what we don't want you to do..." Influence all day long. Involve people in that influence. Make your circle larger and watch your potential grow. But as soon as you try to manipulate someone, you've crossed a dangerous line. What do you think? -- doug smith

Get Help Solving That Problem

Do you try to do everything on your own? If you're part of a team, and especially if you are leading a team, it goes better by collaborating. Working together. Helping each other. People like to be connected. What better time to strengthen your connections than when you have a problem? You don't need everyone in the world to help you solve a problem but you probably do need someone. Find out who that is, and get them involved. Besides, it is way more fun that way, too. -- doug smith

Get Started

Have you ever gotten resistance to a goal that you really wanted to achieve? Maybe someone told you that you weren't capable. Maybe someone told you that the goal was wrong for you, or unachievable. What do they know? Your goals are important no matter what anyone says. Get started when you're ready. -- doug smith

Motivation Is Contagious

Like most team behaviors, motivation is contagious. When people look around and see team members energized, charged up, focused, and engaged, it tends to spread. That's not a shortcut, though. Leaders still need to do the work by creating an environment that supports and challenges the team members. Leaders also need to develop relationships with individual team members and help those team members develop cooperative, cohesive relationships with each other. There's no quick fix, but it helps to start doing something that does work. One thing is talking with your people. Lead with questions long before you offer any answers. What motivates your people? Ask them. -- doug smith

Love That Job

Do your team members love their jobs? Do you? There is nothing quite like loving a job you're doing. Focused, alive, attentive, building something important, serving people gladly...what could be better? We all need to work, why not love the work we do? As a leader, you are the main reason (yes I said the MAIN reason) your team members either love their jobs or they don't. It's all in the climate you create, the environment of both support and challenge balanced with precision and love. A leader who helps someone love their job is giving the world a wonderful treasure. What can you do today to show your team members the potential to make this the best team ever, with the best jobs ever? Here's one idea: appreciate. Thank someone, recognize some, share with someone how you value what they do and who they are. They'll like that, you'll like that...everybody wins. -- doug smith

Work With The Team You've Got

Maybe you inherited your team. Maybe your team just lost a key player. The game goes on. You've got to keep playing, keep producing, and keep developing your team. Work with the team you've got. When you do, they will astound you. -- doug smith

Nothing Cranky

Work your goals but make your goals serve you. No one needs a goal that makes them cranky. -- doug smith

The Pursuit of Tough Goals

Great goals are tough. We don't remember the easy goals, but the tough goals change us. Set a tough goal and then run with it hard. The pursuit of a tough goal requires relentless dedication. Isn't that what you've been preparing for? -- doug smith

More On Now

Now is one of those words that means different things to different people. It implies a sense of urgency. Immediacy. And, it can mean so much more. When I say "now!" I mean it will not be perfect but it will be DONE. When I say "now!" I mean seriously, attentively, and instantly. When I say "now!" I mean "now for me" without expecting anyone else to follow automatically. If it's not urgent for you, even if it is for me, just let me know. What do you mean when you say now? -- doug smith

No Let Down

I remember getting a big let-down after a show would close, or a project would end, or a movie would wrap...anything really important that I'd been working on. All that work. All that focus. All that energy. And, then suddenly it's done. But that was then. That was too much focus on the outcome and not enough on the process. Because the end comes and goes, but the process can continue. The process of creating, of learning, of growing. The best part of achieving your goals is enjoying the journey, and then you avoid any big left-down at the end. The journey, the process -- that's the joy. -- doug smith

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