doug smith training

It takes courage to tell the truth because it's not always popular and it's often risky. Knowing that the truth could get you into trouble will steer some people into lies, which once told tend to perpetuate to the point where the teller doesn't even remember that it's not true. That's not for you. That's not for high performance, centered leaders. While it does take guts to tell the truth, it also takes curiosity, diligence, and interrogation to discover the truth. If it's easy to tell lies, it's even easier to believe them.  Asking is more powerful than telling because it helps to uncover the truth, to discover the truth.  Our courage increases when we rely on truth. To rely on truth requires identifying it fearlessly. What do you think? -- doug smith

The truth won't disappear even if you hide it. It might be possible to hide the truth for a while, but it will inevitably emerge. Are you someone who tries to hide the truth, or are you someone who reveals the truth? Either way, there is skill behind the effort. Oh, and either way the truth will still bubble to the top. -- doug smith

It's hard to escape it: there are lies everywhere. Behind every lie is a liar, someone who knows that they are deceiving people. The lies might be obvious. They might even rationalize the lies into harmless ways around the truth.  There is no way around the truth. The only way to the truth is telling the truth. It's tempting to rationalize our own reactions to lies. After all, they lied first so what's the harm in twisting the truth just a little for a good cause. No. You can't stop a liar from lying, but you don't have to play a liar's game. High performance leaders with integrity tell the truth. -- doug smith

Lies lead to lies and there lies the problem. Clarity is the solution. We tolerate, we generate, too many darn lies. What are we afraid of with truth? Why do we try to deceive one another? Lies, lies, lies. A lie opens the door to air the truth, if we can spot the lie. We can always spot the lie. It's not like they are so hard to find. Besides being everywhere, they are usually painfully obvious. Let's lean  on the truth instead. The cold, hard, honest truth. If the truth isn't kind, there is more truth to find. Keep looking. Keep telling the truth. -- doug smith

When was the last time you caught someone in a lie? How did you react? It was probably not that long ago, maybe even today. People lie to each other everyday. Some of those lies we let pass, but some startle us so much in their boldness, in their malice, in their deviousness that we are emotionally moved to do something about it. What should we do? We could react with anger. That is sure to stir up more anger. We could react with sadness. Surely, we have every reason to be sad, but what will that accomplish? A better reaction? Call to question the statement in question. Here are some things that work for me: "I'm not sure that I understood what you just said, could you say it another way?" or "I'm not sure I agree with that. Can you convince me?" or "Wow." (the word I sometimes say when I can't think of what to say -- OR I'm thinking of a word that would not be socially acceptable or polite. And yes, even when you catch a lie...

A lie is a try to buy self-esteem and the price is too high. -- doug smith

My goal is to tell the truth. All of the time. That's more difficult than you might expect, given our daily temptations to tell little lies of convenience -- especially when we consider that NOT telling something a truth they are entitled to hear is a kind of lie of omission. No one is perfect, but with a little work and a clear intention, we certainly CAN tell the truth. It's a habit worth developing. Once you get into that habit, of telling the truth all of the time, you may find yourself insisting on hearing only the truth from others. That's even more difficult. Some people lie so much that they don't even realize it. Some people lie so much that they come to believe their own lies. What do you do with that? All we can do is to start by telling the truth. All the truth we know. We may later learn that we didn't even know all of the truth, or that someone else's view of a situation is different from ours (and just as true.) Still, let's start with ...

We all tell lies. In my workshops I often ask the question "Who do we lie to the most?" and the answer follows quickly as "ourselves." We lie the most to ourselves. Weird, isn't it? How can we even fool ourselves? But someone we do. It's so easy to lie to ourselves that we usually don't realize that we're lying. Take a moment. Breathe. Give yourself the truth test once in a while (say, every day!) You CAN handle the truth. -- doug smith

Do you ever lie to yourself? Most of us do. Of all the lies we tell, we lie to ourselves the most. And for what? Toward what aim? Lying to ourselves is fruitless. Lying to ourselves is damaging. Lying to ourselves is no way to achieve our goals or to communicate effectively. Your truth will matter more to others when it matters more to yourself. Tell yourself the truth. -- doug smith

When was the last time that you were lied to? Maybe you know, and maybe you don't. It could depend on the lie. The person who lied to you could be so good at lying that you still don't know. Or, maybe they didn't even consider it to be a lie -- but it is. Lies cause hardship and heartbreak. Lies damage relationships and distort results. And yet, we all lie. Maybe because we don't realize the extent of the harm that lies cause. Destroyed trust, broken promises, unfair distribution of limited resources, lost opportunities... If we knew -- really knew -- how harmful lies really are we might stop telling them. You could stop today. I could stop today. Let's stop. -- doug smith Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.  -- Don Miguel Ruiz "Lying to ourselves is more dee...

Why do we lie? That's a compelling question worth exploring. I once read that on average we tell about 26 lies a day. That's a lot of lying. But as leaders, don't we rely on our people to tell the truth? Aren't they (and our customers, and our families!) relying on US to tell the truth? What if it's not exactly our fault? What if we can dramatically reverse the amount of lies we tell by adding a bit of mindfulness? I like this video. It involves behavioral science and while it would be nice to have even more research on this, I do find the evidence compelling that very often we lie unconsciously. Watch the video and see what you think. Interesting experiment? What opportunities can you think of where you work to wake-up the moral foundation in yourself and in the people in your life? How can you remind people that you are counting on the truth? We all must communicate effectively to achieve the results that we want. That means finding, and delivering,...