Could There Be More to the Truth?

My goal is to tell the truth. All of the time. That's more difficult than you might expect, given our daily temptations to tell little lies of convenience -- especially when we consider that NOT telling something a truth they are entitled to hear is a kind of lie of omission. No one is perfect, but with a little work and a clear intention, we certainly CAN tell the truth. It's a habit worth developing.

Once you get into that habit, of telling the truth all of the time, you may find yourself insisting on hearing only the truth from others. That's even more difficult. Some people lie so much that they don't even realize it. Some people lie so much that they come to believe their own lies. What do you do with that?

All we can do is to start by telling the truth. All the truth we know. We may later learn that we didn't even know all of the truth, or that someone else's view of a situation is different from ours (and just as true.) Still, let's start with telling the truth as we know it. Or, as don Miguel Ruiz says in "The Four Agreements," tell your truth.

Tell the truth. Tell me the truth. Just don't pretend you know all of it. There is still plenty of truth to discover, and what was once true might change.

How do you define truth?

-- doug smith

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The Best

Do you know this feeling -- fully engaged, highly energized, learning and growing and muscling up to the challenges tossed at you? Once we taste that, we want more. It might be tough, but we want more. There are so many distractions, but we want more. There's nothing quite like comp[letely immersing yourself in who you want to be. Working to be the best, not to overcome someone else, but to level yourself up. Where is your best potential to be the very best? -- doug smith

Secret Desires

The best leaders tell the truth. People know that, even when they don't do that. We live in a world filled with so many lies that people have stopped even believing in truth. If it's all relative anyway then just say what you want, right? No. It's not all relative. And, while the truth will change, and while none of us can be absolutely sure about all truth, we can all tell the truth instead of purposely deceiving others. Maybe it's by design. Lies reveal hidden desires. And, no matter what that desire is, if you have to lie to get it, you won't keep it long. -- doug smith Reflective exercise: What's the biggest lie you've ever told? How long did it remain a secret? What was the final outcome? What do you think would have been the outcome if you'd simply told the truth?

Future Leaders

Look for team members who take responsibility without being asked to because those are your future leaders. -- doug smith

Necessary Conflict

Avoiding a conflict does not make you neutral. It may be healthy at times to avoid conflict, but if your team or someone you love is suffering because of that conflict, you've got responsibilities. What do you do when conflict is necessary? High performance leaders have a plan because they've practiced sensible strategies over and over again. Maybe consider that aching conflict another practice opportunity. -- doug smith

When We're Wrong

Have you ever noticed that people can't seem to realize it when they're wrong? That makes it frustrating for both the person who is wrong and the person who is quite certain that they're wrong. We get stuck. We dig in. It happens in conversations, in conflicts, and in relationships. When we're really wrong, we're really wrong, and we don't even know it. As long as we're wrong we don't see that we're wrong. How do we fix that? (Here it is worth it to pause and wonder, hmmm, how do we?) Pause. It's worth a try. Stay open to possibilities. Listen as if we don't already know the answer, because even if we do the answer might have (probably HAS) changed. When we're wrong we've got to pause to figure that out. And when we're right, we've got to pause to see if that's still true. There's no shame in being wrong. But, it's a total shame to stay that way. -- doug smith

Too Much Drama?

Do you have too much drama at work? Whenever I ask a class this during one of my Managing Conflict programs the answer is almost always "Yes!" (sometimes, it looks like this: YESSSS!!!!) Drama. It's all around us. Conflicts that are hard to resolve. Personality differences. Political incongruities. Societal hypocrisies. Fractured relationships and sore self-esteem. Drama. We like drama. It ignites us. It gets the heart beating faster. But do we really need it when our team just needs to finish a project? Do we really want it when what we should do instead is communicate more effectively, lead with influence instead of power, and reach mutually beneficial outcomes in change? Of course. Drama makes us feel so alive that even when it isn't necessary we tend to invent it. Given a choice, why invent the unnecessary? -- doug smith Notes: Here’s the process we cover in our program on Managing Conflict: 1. Uncover the causes. 2. Defuse the drama 3. Identify your choices 4. Fi...

Fuel the Fire

Goals without discipline are like fire without fuel. Stopped. Fuel the fire. Equip your goals. Develop the discipline to act relentlessly on your plan. Your potential is unlimited, but relies first on the discipline that you develop. -- doug smith

Long Game

Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. We prepare, we practice, we strategize, and still sometimes the game does not go our way. That's reason enough to know that the game -- any game -- itself is not only about winning. It's how you play, how your team responds, and how you treat your competitors and collaborators. And maybe, when you're lucky enough, your collaborators outnumber your competitors. It's a long game peppered with short fuses. Salted with near-misses. Anguished by disappointment. High performance leaders lead anyway, with the character it takes to produce without reducing. What game are you playing today? How can you win even if you don't win? -- doug Smith

Clarify, Clarify, Clarify!

We've all done it, haven't we -- smiled and nodded when we weren't sure we'd agreed? It seems so polite and yet ambiguity is not always our friend when we seek to lead others. Don't pretend that you know. Find out. Don't pretend you agree -- talk about it. Clarify, clarify, clarify! The truth may be moe muddled than you know. -- doug smith

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