Could There Be More to the Truth?

My goal is to tell the truth. All of the time. That's more difficult than you might expect, given our daily temptations to tell little lies of convenience -- especially when we consider that NOT telling something a truth they are entitled to hear is a kind of lie of omission. No one is perfect, but with a little work and a clear intention, we certainly CAN tell the truth. It's a habit worth developing.

Once you get into that habit, of telling the truth all of the time, you may find yourself insisting on hearing only the truth from others. That's even more difficult. Some people lie so much that they don't even realize it. Some people lie so much that they come to believe their own lies. What do you do with that?

All we can do is to start by telling the truth. All the truth we know. We may later learn that we didn't even know all of the truth, or that someone else's view of a situation is different from ours (and just as true.) Still, let's start with telling the truth as we know it. Or, as don Miguel Ruiz says in "The Four Agreements," tell your truth.

Tell the truth. Tell me the truth. Just don't pretend you know all of it. There is still plenty of truth to discover, and what was once true might change.

How do you define truth?

-- doug smith

Comments

Save that thought...

Whenever I ask a class "have you ever said anything that you regret saying?" the answer is always 100% yes. A mumble easily becomes a stumble when it's tainted with trauma, distrust, anger, or sorrow. There are things we could say that don't help in any way. It's better to keep those things to o oneself. I had a boss once who wisely told me "Doug, when you're upset, pause and count to ten." "And what if I stay upset?" "Then count to a hundred." She might as well have said count to a thousand, because I knew exactly what she meant. Some things do not need to be said. We've all got better words inside us willing to take that mistake away. -- doug smith

Careful With the Question

Have you ever been in a conversation so intense that you question the health of the person who is arguing with you? Most of us have. In that moment, when our nerves are frayed and our anger is rising, it is ever so easy to say the wrong thing. It's tempting to ask the wrong question. When we push against someone's dignity the reaction will not be positive. You know that, I know that, and yet we've done it anyway. Here's a note-to-self: stop, pause, breathe, evaluate. What would be the best thing to say or do? Because...if you ask someone what's wrong with them they will likely find something wrong with you. And they might not be wrong about that... -- doug smith

Not So Obvious, Is It?

People work on bad goals far too often. It sounds good, it reaches for some vague feeling of satisfaction, and yet the goal is a poor match for who they are or where they are. How you form your goals matters. Get the goal right before you work on it to save yourself lots of aggravation. Keep it simple: action word, result, and time. Keep it ambitious but possible. And check to make sure that what you want is what the goal will give you. Otherwise, that poor goal is a waste of time. -- doug smith

Collaborate Instead of Commanding

As a recovering know-it-all I remember making many mistakes, trying to solve someone else's problem. I've learned that maybe, just maybe, I can help, but it is highly unlikely that I'll solve that problem. The problem with solving someone else's problem is that it may not fit into their schedule. Or their plan. Work together. Collaborate. Share. If the solution emerges between you, let them take credit for the brilliance of the solution. You'll never run out of problems to help on, unless you try to solve them all on your own. -- doug smith

Better Is Better

What we work on matters. What we choose to focus on not only matters but it's also completely up to us. What's your focus today? This week? This month? I'm learning to limit my focus to what matters most, one goal at a time. How about you? Better goals create better lives. That's what we want, and deserve. -- doug smith

A Daily Goal

Some people take a vitamin every day. Some people read a passage from a favorite book every day. Positive daily habits support a successful life. Set a goal at least once a day and then achieve that goal. It builds the kind of momentum that leads to wonderful things. And you do want wonderful things, right? -- doug smith

The Smartest Person

What makes a team member seem smart? Is it their knowledge? Is it their experience? Or, are they simply gifted? High performance leaders work to build teams that include people smarter than they are. They are out there, why not bring them to your team? If you think that you are the smartest person on your team you are either wrong, OR not finished recruiting. -- doug smith

Right In Front of You

It isn't possible or necessary to solve every problem. Focus on the problem in front of you. Solving that first problem builds momentum and experience for solving the next problem. You'll never solve them all, but imagine how much better things will be after you've solved the ones right in front of you. -- doug smith

The Team You Deserve

Whether you are a great leader or something less, the reality is that you will build the team that you deserve. High performance teams develop accountability, excellence, and positive results. High performance leaders develop that and more through clarity, courage, creativity and compassion. Leaders need clarity around their vision, their mission, and their goals. Teams need to know which direction to move, direction provided with clarity. Leaders need the courage to stand against obstacles, to resist temptation to take the easy way out, to fully back their people. Teams need leaders with the courage of their convictions and with visible assertive support of their team. Creativity gives a leader the ability to generate new ideas, to innovate in a constantly moving environment, to think of new ways to inspire and motivate their teams. Teams, equipped with creativity, never get stale. They find the fun in what they do and they convert that fun into positive results. Since leaders deal wi...

Hard Work

What's the hardest job that you've ever had to do? It might be hard, it might not be fun, it might consume far too much time, but hard work builds skills that otherwise go neglected. Hard work teaches patience, tenacity, fortitude, resilience. Hard work build character. When it gets to be too easy, it's time for another challenge. Hard work will always pay off in one way or another. What are you working hard at now? The payoff will be worth it. -- doug smith

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