Open the Door

When was the last time you caught someone in a lie? How did you react?

It was probably not that long ago, maybe even today. People lie to each other everyday. Some of those lies we let pass, but some startle us so much in their boldness, in their malice, in their deviousness that we are emotionally moved to do something about it. What should we do?

We could react with anger. That is sure to stir up more anger.

We could react with sadness. Surely, we have every reason to be sad, but what will that accomplish?

A better reaction? Call to question the statement in question. Here are some things that work for me:

"I'm not sure that I understood what you just said, could you say it another way?" or
"I'm not sure I agree with that. Can you convince me?" or
"Wow." (the word I sometimes say when I can't think of what to say -- OR I'm thinking of a word that would not be socially acceptable or polite. And yes, even when you catch a lie in action you can still be polite. It might even be your best strategy.

Open up the lie. Examine it with curiosity. Clarify the intent behind the deception. What would cause someone to say such a thing? What is your role in the construction of that whole perception?
Open up the lie.

A lie opens up the door to tell the truth.

Tell the truth. Discover the truth. Uncover the truth.

-- doug smith

Comments

Keep your choices open

Have you ever felt like a prisoner to your own emotions? The feelings can be so strong that they flood your being with an almost paralysis. I have found myself wandering away from a situation because my emotions were pushing so hard, even though a better choice would have been to stay, get those emotions under control, breathe, and choose. Once a bad emotion has sent you its warning, it's best to send it on its way. Emotions can drive us, but don't need to. Feel it, pause, and step away. Keep all of your choices open. -- doug smith

Move Ahead

There are so many parts of my past that I would love to fix. Thinking about them doesn't help and won't fix them. The best I can do is to reflect on the lessons learned and do better next time. How about you? If we could fix the last we'd break it in brand new ways. The price of being imperfect is a glorious one: constant learning. That's not so bad after all. -- doug smith

Collaborate

Working together is not over-rated. Even the sharpest of minds miss some important details. Even the strongest of leaders needs a team to lead. Truly collaborating means accepting that sometimes your point of view is flawed, and is almost always incomplete. Staying open to the ideas of others, while working in the same direction on a unified mission, creates a path for success. The art of leadership benefits from collaboration. -- doug smith

Team Talk

The most powerful team building tool is talk. Talk with each team member and talk together as a team. Communication is the most powerful skill to practice. -- doug smith

Maybe Start With A Smile...

How do you react when you meet someone new? They're not new to the world, of course, just to you but that's new enough, isn't it? What if they disagree with you? What if you're on different sides of an issue? What if you don't know? People desire respect. When respect is lacking, we know it right away, don't we? And when we withhold our own respect it stands to reason that others know that right away, too. But if we start with respect -- if we start with the idea that every person we meet has value -- it becomes easier to interact meaningfully and maybe even share common ground. When we connect with respect we dramatically increase our chances of communicating effectively. I'll do my best to practice that today -- how about you? -- doug smith

Positive Solutions

Problems need not prevent positive outcomes. It's what we do with them that matters. -- doug smith

Multiple Solutions

That extra tough problem might need multiple solutions -- in fact, its probably does. -- doug smith

Start With What You've Got

Most leaders can think of team members they'd love to have on their team, but don't. New skill sets, balanced personalities, brilliant innovations...anything more than what we have to begin with. But, what we have to begin with is where we need to begin. A team is build from the pieces you have to start with, not the pieces you wish you had. That's good news because: now you are ready to go. -- doug smith

A Leader's Reputation

What leaders get done is their record; how they get things done becomes their reputation. -- doug smith

Get Back Up

Mourn a loss a little while but not so long that you miss the next opportunity. -- doug smith

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