When was the last time you caught someone in a lie? How did you react?
It was probably not that long ago, maybe even today. People lie to each other everyday. Some of those lies we let pass, but some startle us so much in their boldness, in their malice, in their deviousness that we are emotionally moved to do something about it. What should we do?
We could react with anger. That is sure to stir up more anger.
We could react with sadness. Surely, we have every reason to be sad, but what will that accomplish?
A better reaction? Call to question the statement in question. Here are some things that work for me:
"I'm not sure that I understood what you just said, could you say it another way?" or
"I'm not sure I agree with that. Can you convince me?" or
"Wow." (the word I sometimes say when I can't think of what to say -- OR I'm thinking of a word that would not be socially acceptable or polite. And yes, even when you catch a lie in action you can still be polite. It might even be your best strategy.
Open up the lie. Examine it with curiosity. Clarify the intent behind the deception. What would cause someone to say such a thing? What is your role in the construction of that whole perception?
Open up the lie.
A lie opens up the door to tell the truth.
Tell the truth. Discover the truth. Uncover the truth.
-- doug smith
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