doug smith training

Do you ever beat yourself up emotionally about something you did or didn't do? Maybe your performance wasn't up to your expectations. Maybe someone else was unhappy with what you did. For me, that's hard to let go, and yet holding onto it is virtually useless. It's better to let it go, so that I can pick up something else and get working. Work hard. Learn. Move on. Do your best and forgive the rest. -- doug smith

People make mistakes. High performance leaders and their teams find ways to learn from those mistakes AND to let go of the negative energy that mistakes can produce. Who needs the side-effects? What use is the guilt? High performance leaders inquire, listen, stay curious, and learn. There are likely more emotions and facts in play than you realize. By taking time to stay curious and learn, it's easier to understand what happened and take steps to do better the next time. And isn't that what we want? To do better the next time! Patience empowers forgiveness. Take a breathe. Practice patience. -- doug smith

Do people need to earn your respect? Some people do believe that it is necessary to prove yourself worthy of respect before someone should grant you respect. What's the problem with that? When we put ourselves into the position of judge we also open the door wider to being judged. Can people tell when you respect them?  Undoubtably. We seem to have an inner radar that differentiates respect from disrespect -- or worse, disregard. We can tell, and we care. Deeply. Whatever a person has done in the past that we might question, it is still possible to treat them with respect. Kindness, compassion, even love know no limits. Respecting someone does not mean that you agree with everything that they've ever done -- or even with what they are  doing or saying right now. Respect means that you treat them with human dignity, fairness, compassion, and honor. I know that it can be tough to show respect in the heat of an argument or when someone is not acting in a likable manne

Forgiveness isn't free. It costs the loss of the sense of self-righteousness that sometimes feeds our feeble ego. We don't need that, but like candy, it feels like we do. Let it go. That's harder to do when it is ourselves who we need to forgive. Then, it isn't self-righteousness that clings to the anger but something else. Something deeper, less secure, less righteous. Let that go, too. Forgiveness isn't free. And self-forgiveness isn't easy. But my friend, forgiveness is necessary. Let it go. -- doug smith