doug smith training

Some people think that your mind can change anything and that you can completely determine the outcome of something based on how you think about it. I'm not sure that I'd go that far. How about you? That kind of thinking does not have to be absolute to be powerful, though. I can't think hard enough to make the earth revolve around the moon but that doesn't mean that my thoughts are powerless. If you can change your mind you can change anything. You'll see it differently, experience it differently, and in effect change it. Does that sound contradictory?  "I'll have to think about that..." "Yeah, me, too..." - doug smith  

Life is simpler when you follow a clearly prescribed set of ethics and base every decision on it. Or, at least how it feels at first. It's not so simple after all. We are frequently faced with ethical decisions that require either an iron-clad adherence to a principle that will result in an outcome we do not want, or exercising some flexibility in our choice which then risks throwing the entire value out. It is complicated. It requires learning. It requires sophistication not easily developed.  The trouble with unbreakable codes is that they will eventually break you. The trouble with situational ethics is that it might not regard your situation very highly at all. It takes work. It takes clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion in balance to know what is right. And, it takes the patience to realize that after that balance is measured carefully and applied we will still make mistakes. Love first, and step lightly around the rest. -- doug smith  

Some things, no matter what you call them, remain unchanged. Spinning the image or shining the stains won't work when the truth speaks louder than deception. Stealing in the name of game playing or competition is still stealing.  It's simple: do not steal. Not in the name of a cause. Not in the name of a religion. Not in the name of strategy. If you wouldn't want it taken from you, don't take it from anyone else. Do not steal. -- doug smith

How do you know if that idea is brilliant or not? When faced with plenty of possibilities, how do you decide? Evaluate carefully, narrow the long list down, and then what? Some ideas lead to dead ends. Some notions lead to break-thru. Actions and learning decide.  Act relentlessly and learn constantly until you achieve your goal. -- doug smith

  As soon as I solve every problem I can think of I think of more problems. That's not a bad thing, but it is a thing. We live with an endless supply of problems. All the more reason to keep busy solving them. -- doug smith

Passion drives depth. Curiosity sparks action. Action produces results. -- doug smith  

As a recovering know-it-all I have stopped pretending that I know everything. No one does, so how could I know everything? But, there's still an endless thirst to learn everything, to gather as much knowledge as I can and put it to use and then share it.  That comes with lots of reading, tons of research, and constant education. And -- best of all -- with lots of questions. Every useful answer started as a brilliant question. Start with a question, and maybe the knowledge will flow. And if it doesn't --- ask a better question! -- doug smith Note: If you've been in any of my events you probably know that I learned to ask a better question from one of my mentors, Andrew Oxley. His exact quote is "if you don't like the answer to a question -- ask a better question." Thanks again, Andrew!

Sometimes a flexible perspective comes in handy. It is a convenient way to reduce stress. For example, do you know anyone who drives you crazy? Someone who annoys you and creates tension in your life? Most of us do. Here's a little shift in flexible perspective: I like to think of the people who drive me crazy as the people who spark more learning. Since I'm all about learning, anything that sparks more learning must have value. It might not be easy learning, but still worth the experience. What do you think? -- doug smith

Have you ever been at a loss for words? Doesn't it always happen at an inconvenient time? I'm sure it doesn't happen to every one but for some of us, under pressure, forced to say something, we can't say anything at all. It's like an animal that freezes at the sign of danger -- maybe if we sit very still the awkwardness will go away. It won't go away on its own. But, you know what does help? Connection.  I discovered that the awkward feeling gives me a choice -- I can detach completely (or try to) which leads to even more tension, or I can see that feeling as a kind of connection. Someone cares enough to want a response. That is no small thing. That is, in fact, a wonderful thing. We're connected! Once I see the connection, communicating becomes much easier because it is suddenly less threatening.  Try it. I think you'll like it. The next time (and thereafter) when you feel that awkward silence controlling you because of uncertainty or nervousness just b

Has anyone ever given you the "cold shoulder" by refusing to talk to you? They know you're there, they avoid you, they simply stop communicating...How did that feel? It feels bad. Maybe we've all done it at one time or another, suddenly becoming uncommunicative. In some relationships it can last for years, slowly drifting apart until there's nothing left in common. It doesn't have to be that way. As awkward as it feels, talk about it. Get the issues on the table. Chances are that neither one of you are completely right or completely wrong. Forgive the other person so that you can forgive yourself -- because until that happens there will always be a lingering hurt. Refusing to talk feels like a harsh punishment.  It feels like fighting, when understanding would be better for all concerned. Talk about it. -- doug smith

Communicating effectively includes talking about the tough stuff. We might even appear confrontational when we oppose with strength and courage. We can disagree and keep talking. As long as we listen and keep an open mind, we can influence best when we are open to being influenced. Part of that is speaking, and listening, with respect and kindness. Creating, and preserving a sense of dignity.  When we cana talk about it with respect and kindness we can talk about anything. Seems like a good place to start. -- doug smith  

It's hard to escape it: there are lies everywhere. Behind every lie is a liar, someone who knows that they are deceiving people. The lies might be obvious. They might even rationalize the lies into harmless ways around the truth.  There is no way around the truth. The only way to the truth is telling the truth. It's tempting to rationalize our own reactions to lies. After all, they lied first so what's the harm in twisting the truth just a little for a good cause. No. You can't stop a liar from lying, but you don't have to play a liar's game. High performance leaders with integrity tell the truth. -- doug smith