Find the Connection

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Have you ever been at a loss for words?

Doesn't it always happen at an inconvenient time? I'm sure it doesn't happen to every one but for some of us, under pressure, forced to say something, we can't say anything at all. It's like an animal that freezes at the sign of danger -- maybe if we sit very still the awkwardness will go away.

It won't go away on its own. But, you know what does help? Connection.

I discovered that the awkward feeling gives me a choice -- I can detach completely (or try to) which leads to even more tension, or I can see that feeling as a kind of connection. Someone cares enough to want a response. That is no small thing. That is, in fact, a wonderful thing. We're connected!

Once I see the connection, communicating becomes much easier because it is suddenly less threatening.

Try it. I think you'll like it. The next time (and thereafter) when you feel that awkward silence controlling you because of uncertainty or nervousness just breathe and relax and remember it's good -- it's connection.

Find the connection and the words will follow.

And, even if they aren't the best words, they are usually better than silence.

-- doug smith

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