How to avoid the distraction of someone else's goals

Do people interrupt your work on your own goals because they want you to work on theirs?

How do you get back on track? How to you keep your focus on your own goals?

People mean well. It's a good thing that their goals are important to them. And, in many cases we find the time to help them with their goals and sometimes they reciprocate. That's healthy. What's a problem is getting so pulled into someone else's situation that your own goals go untended. That does not lead to success or happiness.

Here are some ways to keep your focus on your own goals:

1. Schedule time to work on them. Keep that time inviolate. When people interrupt, let them know when you will be available and not until then.

2. Post your goals so that others can see what you're working on. If you've written them skillfully enough, other people may interrupt so that they can work on YOUR goals.

3. Find an isolated placed to work on your goals (I'm doing that right now to avoid interruption!). Someone people like a busy place like a coffee shop -- others like a quiet room or nature spot. Find out what works best for you and choose it at least once this week.

4. When someone does interrupt, take the time to understand their reason. It may be valid. It may be worth your attention. In any case, they won't be ready to leave you alone until you've taken the time to understand them -- to validate either what they want or who they are. This can feel like it takes extra time, but in the long run will save you lots of time.

5. Align your goals with the goals of your organization. This keeps your focus on things that matter to the people who pay you. Why would anyone in your organization want to stop that from happening? The closer the alignment and more clear how your efforts advance the organization, the more freedom you will have to work on those goals.

What other ways have you discovered to avoid the distraction of someone else's goals? I'd love to know what also works for you...

--Douglas Brent Smith

Get the coaching you need to achieve your goals in our group coaching program:Achieving Your Goals.

Comments

Influence, Not Manipulation

This could be a whole book, but I'll keep it short. Every day is a struggle to influence and to avoid being manipulated. Both struggles impact each other. We need to be open to being influenced. Sometimes we're wrong. Sometimes our perspective shifts, our approach changes, our actions respond. But, manipulation is inconsiderate. Manipulation is disrespectful. Manipulation says "we don't trust you so we're going to make it hard for you to do what we don't want you to do..." Influence all day long. Involve people in that influence. Make your circle larger and watch your potential grow. But as soon as you try to manipulate someone, you've crossed a dangerous line. What do you think? -- doug smith

Love That Job

Do your team members love their jobs? Do you? There is nothing quite like loving a job you're doing. Focused, alive, attentive, building something important, serving people gladly...what could be better? We all need to work, why not love the work we do? As a leader, you are the main reason (yes I said the MAIN reason) your team members either love their jobs or they don't. It's all in the climate you create, the environment of both support and challenge balanced with precision and love. A leader who helps someone love their job is giving the world a wonderful treasure. What can you do today to show your team members the potential to make this the best team ever, with the best jobs ever? Here's one idea: appreciate. Thank someone, recognize some, share with someone how you value what they do and who they are. They'll like that, you'll like that...everybody wins. -- doug smith

More On Now

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Compassionate Patience

It's easy to forget how much work it took to get where you are. Skills that we can take for granted are still absent or being developed in other people, including our team members. Compassionate leaders remember what they were like before they acquired the skills they now wish their team members had. The challenge: staying patient. The good news: as a leader you can help those team members grow. -- doug smith

The Right People

Who do you get to help you solve your problem? You, of course, that's a given. Also, people who will be impacted by any solution you try. People who are feeling the effects of the problem right now. Even (especially) people who you think may be at the root cause of the problem. Get the benefit of many ideas. Enlist the help of people who will care how it turns out. Collaborate to gain commitment. Engage the right people in creating problem solutions so that they don't become the wrong people while implementing them. -- doug smith

Focused Truth

Focused leaders have zero time for inauthentic messages. They tell the truth unconditionally and insist on the truth consistently. Be a leader who can handle the truth. Be a leader who tells the truth. -- doug smith

Patience, please

It's easy to lose patience. We expect everything right away, perfect, and hassle free. When was the last time that you grew impatient because someone or something was not matching your expectations? If you're at all like me, that was probably not long ago. What if we took a pause. What if we let a moment form before judging it? Those critical thoughts might not need to be said. That aggressive body language might be unnecessary. Patience prevents endless misunderstandings. I'm working on developing more patience. How about you? -- doug smith

Anger Management

I watched a boss once put his fist thru a wall. He was angry. I don't even remember what he was angry about, I just remember thinking "man, you could have broken your hand..." We all get angry. Our feelings react to some threat, real or imagined, with strong energy. You see it all the time, and more than ever -- angry people losing their composure. It's easy to lose your temper but hard when people find it. Because, when they find it, they lose respect for the source. Centered leaders manage their emotions, even (especially) anger. -- doug smith

The Positive Choice

Leadership carries many responsibilities. One of them is the responsibility to improve things. People, products, processes -- none of these are perfect. As leaders, we can help them get better or we can keep them right where they are. Given a choice why not allow things to get better? -- doug smith

Goals Need A Plan

Ever set a goal that you didn't achieve? Of course, we all have. What went wrong? It was probably either a) you didn't have a plan, or b) you had a plan and didn't follow it. Goals need plans that we act on relentlessly. To achieve your goals with certainty, identify where and when you will work on them. Set a plan. Follow the plan. Adjust and repeat. Think about a time when you DID achieve your goal. You set a goal, designed a plan, then followed that plan. Do that. Do more of that. -- doug smith

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