Personality Big 5 Connections and Centered Leadership

Are you still discovering who you are?

Do you have any big theories or processes that you are still working out?

One of my big unifying theory-processes-notions centers around what I call centered leadership. It's different than the centered leadership identified in a recent book by the same title (I've read that book and it is filled with great insights and I don't disagree with any of it -- it's just that it was develop outside of what I have been thinking of as centered leadership. I did try to adapt away from my thinking but it's no use, I'm heavily intellectually invested in this now so I parallel my way thru any diversions).

The purpose of this blog entry is just to capture another related notion with some connectedness. It's the psychological idea often referred to as the "Big 5". Good heavens, I have another notion I've been calling the Big 5 that has NOTHING to do with any of this but I won't let that deter me (my Big 5 is a way of measuring impact based on customer satisfaction, team member satisfaction, compliance, revenue, and expenses)M

The idea of a psychological big five is nicely summarized here:

http://psychology.about.com/od/personalitydevelopment/a/bigfive.htm

In my own curious way I've connected the dots a bit and compared the big 5 with what I think of as the 5 core leadership strengths. Except in the big 5 is a trait not at all a strength -- neuroticism. That doesn't fit into my little charting system at all. Here is the overlay that fits:

Centered Leadership Strength / Big 5

Courage / Openness
Creativity / Extraversion
Clarity / Conscientiousness
Compassion / Agreeableness

MY fifth is Centering, and that is charted as a circle in the middle of the four quadrants -- representing balance and flexibility in utilizing each and every key leadership strength skillfully and as needed. It can also be thought of as mindfulness in action.

The fifth Big 5, neuroticism, does not fit into my little chart but I would draw it as a triangle that has fallen off the chart. It's a bit like the opposite of centering: it is the absence of balance and flexibility. It is any one of the other traits taken to extreme or starved of its need.

This is just a quick thought on a deep idea -- my musings at 2 am...and I welcome any thoughts. There are enough tangents here for a book and maybe that's on its way. Who knows?

Don't you enjoy unexpected connections?

-- Doug Smith

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Be Amazing

Circumstances influence how we act. While we all do have limitations, we can all also exceed and overcome many of those limitations. To be honest, we can all be amazing when we need to be. Whatever is going on, that capacity, that ability awaits. Push that button. Ignite that fire. Step on the gas. We can be amazing when we don't have any other choice. Remove the other choices because they are not for you. Instead: be amazing! -- doug smith

Word Power

If you've ever had a boss say something mean to you, it's likely that you still remember it vividly. You probably won't ever forget it. Leaders do need to provide feedback and much of that feedback may be constructive -- coaching involves helping others improve their skills in order to achieve their goals -- but that constructive feedback can, and should, be delivered in a positive, dignified way. Not mean. Not nasty. Not insulting. Words meant to hurt are better left unsaid. -- doug smith

Courage to Speak

There have been times when I wanted to say something because I thought that it was important and yet didn't say it. I learned that avoiding a difficult conversation usually leads to even more difficulties. Keeping a problem to yourself is not a great strategy. The words won't be perfect. We might sweat when we say them. Disagreement could rise. That's fine. If it is important to you, say it. Sometimes it's less about what you say and more about your willingness to say it. If it takes courage to speak, you should probably speak. -- doug smith

Test True

How often is your truth tested? How often do people check to make sure that everything you've communicated to them is true? When it comes to your team, the answer is every day. High performance leaders can not stand to slip and deceive anyone on the team because it is sure to be caught. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe some time down the road, but it will surely be caught and when it is, the team becomes a bit less effective Every day your truth is tested so you might as well make it true. If you're going to be tested, you might as well test true. -- doug smith

Those Annoying Opportunities

Sometimes people can get on your nerves. Interrupting, ignoring, disagreeing, even laughing at the wrong time can feel like an intended insult. Taking that kind of interaction as an insult, though, will not improve the quality of the interaction. I like to think of the people who drive me crazy as the people who spark more learning. It might not be the lesson they want to teach me that I learn, but there is certainly something there worth learning. If we missed all learning that wasn't fun we'd miss a whole lot of learning. Those annoying learning opportunities are sometimes exactly what we need. -- doug smith ]

Trust the Truth

It's hard to escape it: there are lies everywhere. Behind every lie is a liar, someone who knows that they are deceiving people. The lies might be obvious. They might even rationalize the lies into harmless ways around the truth. There is no way around the truth. The only way to the truth is telling the truth. It's tempting to rationalize our own reactions to lies. After all, they lied first so what's the harm in twisting the truth just a little for a good cause. No. You can't stop a liar from lying, but you don't have to play a liar's game. High performance leaders with integrity tell the truth. -- doug smith

Respect and Kindness

Communicating effectively includes talking about the tough stuff. We might even appear confrontational when we oppose with strength and courage. We can disagree and keep talking. As long as we listen and keep an open mind, we can influence best when we are open to being influenced. Part of that is speaking, and listening, with respect and kindness. Creating, and preserving a sense of dignity. When we cana talk about it with respect and kindness we can talk about anything. Seems like a good place to start. -- doug smith

Why We Need Another Opinion

Do you remember your last wrong decision? It probably felt right at the time. Surely, the logic that you used was precise and strong. But, still it didn't turn out the way that you'd prefer. Leaders benefit from multiple opinions and varied views. We can get so locked into a decision that we forget to truly test it. Are we getting carried away? Have we forgotten about hidden bias? Is it just too emotional a reaction to the situation? The trouble with a gut reaction is that it often eventually makes you sick. Instincts often stink. We need reminders, we need calibrators, we need alternatives. Our own memories are so flawed that they are hardly trustworthy. Test those assumptions, validate those memories, get the help that you need. -- doug smith

Practice Builds Character

Short and to the point: practice builds character. Experiencing imperfection, enduring failure, trying and trying again -- there is no other way to acquire that massive benefit other than practice. Practice your skills. Practice your discipline. Practice your changes. As we practice it sharpens and strengthens us as long as we respond to the results we generate with openness and willingness to change. Not there yet? Don't give up -- practice. Practice builds character and any success worth achieving relies on character to endure. -- doug smith

Talk About It Because...

You can't fix everything by talking about it but you can't fix anything unless you do. Talk about it. Sometimes it will seem rough. There may be deep feelings involved. The words may come slowly. Maybe even the wrong words will come. It is a challenge. Talk about it anyway. What unresolved issue do you need to talk about? -- doug smith

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