doug smith training

Avoiding a conflict does not make you neutral. It may be healthy at times to avoid conflict, but if your team or someone you love is suffering because of that conflict, you've got responsibilities. What do you do when conflict is necessary? High performance leaders have a plan because they've practiced sensible strategies over and over again. Maybe consider that aching conflict another practice opportunity. -- doug smith 

How much time do you spend keeping score? Our clients, our customers, our employers, even our families expect us to keep score. At this point there probably isn't any stopping it. But, it's not always the most important thing.  What if you stopped keeping score when you're enjoying something just for what it is: a sunset, a low tide, a bird on the wing, a team member who smiles when they see you...we are not always competing with each other. Sometimes, we're all in this together. What if that could happen more often? As a leader, what kind of world are you trying to create? How about a world with more smiles? -- doug smith  

Missing a goal can still have a positive result if it sets you up for your next goal. Take what you learned, forget what you burned, and earn another achievement. -- doug smith 

Goals without discipline are like fire without fuel. Stopped.  Fuel the fire. Equip your goals. Develop the discipline to act relentlessly on your plan. Your potential is unlimited, but relies first on the discipline that you develop. -- doug smith  

Who else will be happier because of your goal? No matter how important that goal is to you, once it becomes important to someone else as well it becomes far more powerful. You become more powerful, too. Before launching a goal determine who else it will help in addition to yourself. It could change everything. -- doug smith 

Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.  We prepare, we practice, we strategize, and still sometimes the game does not go our way. That's reason enough to know that the game -- any game -- itself is not only about winning. It's how you play, how your team responds, and how you treat your competitors and collaborators.  And maybe, when you're lucky enough, your collaborators outnumber your competitors. It's a long game peppered with short fuses. Salted with near-misses. Anguished by disappointment. High performance leaders lead anyway, with the character it takes to produce without reducing. What game are you playing today? How can you win even if you don't win? -- doug Smith

Each session is 3 hours long.    Morning sessions begin at 10:00 am ET    Afternoon sessions begin at 2:00 pm ET             Excelling as a Highly Effective Team Leader:    October 8 and 9    November 12 and 13 Project Management One-Day Workshop:    October 14 October 30    Excelling as a Manager or Supervisor October 24 November 19      Management and Leadership Skills for First-Time Supervisors and Managers November 3 and 4 Register here: https://skillpath.com/virtual     To save money, attend multiple programs, and enjoy many other great learning resources, register for SkillPath Unlimited here .

Do you know this feeling -- fully engaged, highly energized, learning and growing and muscling up to the challenges tossed at you? Once we taste that, we want more. It might be tough, but we want more. There are so many distractions, but we want more. There's nothing quite like comp[letely immersing yourself in who you want to be. Working to be the best, not to overcome someone else, but to level yourself up. Where is your best potential to be the very best? -- doug smith  

Look for team members who take responsibility without being asked to because those are your future leaders. -- doug smith  

The best leaders tell the truth. People know that, even when they don't do that. We live in a world filled with so many lies that people have stopped even believing in truth. If it's all relative anyway then just say what you want, right? No. It's not all relative. And, while the truth will change, and while none of us can be absolutely sure about all truth, we can all tell the truth instead of purposely deceiving others. Maybe it's by design.  Lies reveal hidden desires. And, no matter what that desire is, if you have to lie to get it, you won't keep it long. -- doug smith Reflective exercise: What's the biggest lie you've ever told?  How long did it remain a secret?  What was the final outcome? What do you think would have been the outcome if you'd simply told the truth?

Do you have too much drama at work? Whenever I ask a class this during one of my Managing Conflict programs the answer is almost always "Yes!" (sometimes, it looks like this: YESSSS!!!!) Drama. It's all around us. Conflicts that are hard to resolve. Personality differences. Political incongruities. Societal hypocrisies. Fractured relationships and sore self-esteem. Drama. We like drama. It ignites us. It gets the heart beating faster. But do we really need it when our team just needs to finish a project? Do we really want it when what we should do instead is communicate more effectively, lead with influence instead of power, and reach mutually beneficial outcomes in change? Of course. Drama makes us feel so alive that even when it isn't necessary we tend to invent it. Given a choice, why invent the unnecessary? -- doug smith Notes: Here’s the process we cover in our program on Managing Conflict: 1. Uncover the causes. 2. Defuse the drama 3. Identify your choices 4. Fi...

We've all done it, haven't we -- smiled and nodded when we weren't sure we'd agreed? It seems so polite and yet ambiguity is not always our friend when we seek to lead others. Don't pretend that you know. Find out. Don't pretend you agree -- talk about it. Clarify, clarify, clarify! The truth may be moe muddled than you know. -- doug smith  

How important is it for us to be clear? Clear about our intentions. Clear about our resolve. Clear about our willing to share responsibility for success. High performance leaders are clear. Clarity prevents multiple misinterpretations. Is your message really clear? Do your team members all share understand of that message? -- doug smith  

It's too easy to say the wrong thing. We get excited. We feel insulted. We jump to conclusions and blurt out something not quite what we meant. I've done it. You've probably done it, too. What if we thought about it for just a moment? What if we set out to be kind, compassionate, and still courageous? There is always more than one way to say what we feel, and the way that we say it matters -- sometimes more than what in that moment we feel and believe. Something we say in passing could be remembered forever. What if we made that memory kind? -- doug smith  

How often do you avoid a conversation because it feels difficult? All too often? Once in a while? Always? The conversations we avoid can come back to haunt us. Don't run away. Talk about it. -- doug smith  

Maybe it didn't turn out \exactly as you planned. Maybe the problem is still clanking around in the background or even right in front of you.  There you are. Calm. Focused. Centered.  Centered problem solvers are OK even if their problem is not yet solved. -- doug smith  

Simply buying some one's solution solves one problem but it might not be yours that it solves. Consider the source. Consider the agenda. Consider the ramifications. Centered problem solving could take longer, but you'll like the results more. -- doug smith 

We tend to claim that we don't want problems. Let's just keep it smooth. Let's not rock the boat. And yet, worry and anxiety and low self-esteem can produce an unlimited amount of concern. There must be a problem, right, because there always is a problem? It's hard to talk yourself out of a problem that you talked yourself into. What do you tell yourself about your problems? Maybe that's a place to start. -- doug smith  

Have you ever completely forgotten about a goal? Honestly, I have. Those kind of goals have a built in resistance that is trying to tell us something. It's not the same as a goal that makes you uncomfortable because that could be a good thing. Rather, it's a goal that does not even seem to interest you. Pick goals you can't stop thinking about -- those are the ones you really want.  -- doug smith

Problems are discouraging. They slow us down. Often a problem will confound us. Problems can polarize us into immobility if we let them, afraid to make any decision because it might make the problem worse. Keep solving. Keep analyzing. Keep working on better choices. A problem won't stop you if you don't stop. Keep going. -- doug smith  

Circumstances try to pin us into either/or decisions. Win/lose. This or that. Pick one but not the other. Even when neither choice is appealing, there's a presumption that you've got to choose one. What if you don't? Embracing a paradox is a way to make peace with the irreconcilable.  Or is it? What do you think? -- doug smith

Silence is a powerful communication tool. When leaders can become comfortable with silence they can learn more, understand more, and connect more deeply. We don't always understand silence. The meaning isn't always clear. That's why developing patience with silence can be so helpful. Silence gives people time to think. Silence provides process time. In a noisy world, silence can even restore sense and peace. Honor silence even when you don't understand it. There is meaning there to find. -- doug smith  

As a leader, do you know how much your team wants to be connected? Why not connect with each team member this week and talk about their connections. What do they feel most a part of? How is their enthusiasm rate? Do they feel truly included? Connection lights the darkness of our lives and soothes our hollow loneliness.  Connect. -- doug smith  

 Problem solving builds strength and clarity. -- doug smith

Empathy is at the heart of... Superior service Centered leadership Better relationships Happiness... When leaders scale up on empathy, when they learn how to understand other people's feelings and situations and then respond with kindness, they make better choices. Strategies last when they include empathy. It's not always easy. At any given time we can find devilish barriers to caring about others. We can always uncover selfish motives and evil actions. But we don't have to do any of that. We can choose. We can develop caring and continue to care. Caring about each other makes defeating anyone unnecessary. Isn't that better? How do you feel about it? -- doug smith  

The goals we seek bring a lot of pull to them. We get wrapped in them.  It's useful and it's powerful when we care about our goals so much that they propel us forward and keep us working even when we're tired, beyond the boundaries of our usual limitations. But they should not take us beyond the boundaries of our usual values. They should not trick us into bending the rules just because the rules are in the way. Truly high performance leaders of character who are focused, and centered, and noble maintain integrity. No cheating is ever worth the outcome. Integrity is so rare that many people don't even recognize. If you do, be thankful. We need leaders like you. To truly understand integrity you've got to keep it. Even when it's hard. Even the lines are blurred.  -- doug smith 

Be careful of an answer that feels automatic. What if the obvious solution is an illusion? Problems seldom create their own solutions without magnifying the problem.  Just because you can't see an agenda doesn't mean that there isn't one... -- doug smith 

How much and how often do you want your leaders to listen to you? "Very much and always," is a rational response. Very much...and always. As leaders that's a big expectation. It deserves our constant attention.  Listen until you understand and then keep listening because there's always mroe to understand.  -- doug smith

Bad customers are no excuse for bad service. We've all experienced difficult customers and people who cannot be pleased no matter what we do. And even though it could feel justified to provide worse service as I result, that's wrong. I've seen people do it -- give the customer less than usual because of a rude remark, or take longer than necessary on a task because of a condescending attitude -- but in service to others we must be better than that. Customer service excellence means constant, attentive, respectful helpfulness. Nothing less. And who knows -- we could always end up turning that bad customer into a great customer. -- doug smith 

The brain is wonderful, isn't it? Fully capable of decoding, encoding, and subject to eroding when we least expect it, the brain is filled with surprises. To keep it focused, we focus hard -- on facts, on data, on details. All of that is important. It's also critical, as we practice critical thinking, to keep the big picture in mind. Where are we going? What is our mission? What's going on in the world (even the universe!) that will impact us whether we are aware or not? The big picture will include you, whether or not you include the big picture. Step back today and take a look. The big picture has probably shifted on you. -- doug smith  

How sure are you of the facts? In any decision, during any problem, the facts matter. While emotions propel us forward, unless we measure the facts, the facts could trip us up. How? Easily. What we believe to be facts could be something else. Inaccurate. Assertions. Assumptions. We need to practice our critical thinking skills to see thru the constant fog and clarify the facts. Accuracy depends on some fairly inaccurate assumptions. Before we can be sure, we need to recognize and qualify our assumptions. At least, I assume that's true... -- doug smith  

When you start with kindness you don't have to stay there, but you probably will. It works better for others. It works better for you. If you're human, you'll probably relapse. It does take practice to stay the course. The course starts by starting. When you start with kindness, it becomes more naturally the way. High performance leadership develops from the core leadership strengths of clarity, creativity, courage, and compassion. Build one of those strengths today thru some act of kindness and the others will get stronger as well. -- doug smith   

  We're in this, too. All the stuff. All the things. The changes, the strangeness, we're in. Impacted by what happens, what other choice do we have than to impact what happens? "These times!" you say. "These times are tough!" Yep. And so are you. The times make us what we are, more than we realize,  but then we also make the times. Let's make them good times. Let's do better. I'm in. How about you? -- doug smith

Working to make things better works best when we enjoy the work right now. Loving our neighbor works best when we love them right now. Building your best future works best when you build right now. Got it? It all starts, it all moves forward right now. -- doug smith

Even when kindness is taken for granted, it's worth it. Four core strengths add up to high performance leadership: clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion. The clearest, most courageous manifestation of compassion is kindness. It's not always reciprocated. It's not always appreciated. But, it's always worth it. Kindness is always a great choice. -- doug smith  

  I like predictability. Data is awesome because it helps us predict with some accuracy. But not with complete accuracy. We may not know or even be able to know. When it comes to change, when it involves the future: Uncertainty is certain. It's up to us to simply deal with that, dance the dance, and work for the best with clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion. -- doug smith

Improving performance does require us to take our work seriously. But it does not require us to take ourselves too seriously. Taking things personally is a waste of self-esteem. -- doug smith 

Do you believe that love can solve a problem? It may not be magic, but it is a great place to begin. Love, rather than resentment, for the situation. Acceptance and compassion for the person or thing in the way helps us see more possibilities. Unconditional love enriches the target of the love. And, there's a wonderful bonus. Unconditional love enriches the giver most of all. -- doug smith 

I like wild ideas. Game-changing concepts that transform transitions. The big boost. The mighty boom.  But just because an idea is wild doesn't mean it will lead to amazing outcomes. How can we ever know which wild idea will hit, and which will wither? Take that humble notion and do something. A little thing. A baby step. Then see what happens next. Many brilliant ideas started as humble amusing notions. Your next silly idea might be one of those. -- doug smith  

How patient are you? We are given so many opportunities to practice patience! Waiting in line, waiting online as a page loads, waiting for someone to get ready to go someplace or waiting for someone to arrive FROM someplace. Patience. For me, patience is a work in progress. The old term of "losing my patience" can easily lead to "losing my temper" (what exactly is being lost there?) and neither one is helpful. Better to remain patient. Not so that poor outcomes can win but so that we don't force them in. Impatience is a sign of taking your self too seriously. Patience. It's worth practicing. -- doug smith  

Sometimes we do things a certain way because we've always done things a certain way. It's easy, it's comfortable, it's probably inadequate and it can certainly be improved. Finding the right process powers your productivity. Better performance starts with better processes. For the next twenty-four hours, pay attention to each process you engage with, and ponder how you might make that process better or, find another better one altogether. -- doug smith  

How do you feel about the truth? Do you feel the same way about what you tell yourself when you think?  To get to the truth more often, I've learned to start with myself. A question I often ask my classes is "who tells lies?" and the answer, almost always, is "Everyone." Occasionally someone will say that they don't ever tell lies and that's probably a lie. My follow-up question is, "Who do we lie to the most?" And the answer is always "Ourselves." That's unnecessary, isn't it? Who are we going to fool? To get to the truth more often, start by telling yourself the truth, then the truth gets easier.  -- doug smith

The best way to help yourself is to help someone else. It may not be my first impulse, but it is always my best outcome. When we help others we untangle knots of tension. When we serve others we heal ourselves. It's not magic, it's simply the way most of us are wired. Service helps the server and the served. Let the joy of service erase your sorrow. -- doug smith  

Everyone serves.  Some of us simply serve better than others. When companies treat customers poorly it's easy to see that as poor service to the customers. It also serves the company poorly. If there is not more to business than the bottom line, the bottom line will hit the bottom with a thud. Painfully. Sometimes rapidly. Everyone serves. We can serve devotedly or we can serve resentfully. When we serve with devotion -- to a higher cause, for a better world, because we like and love people, because we see that as the best way to lead with courage, clarity, creativity, and compassion -- then we enjoy the experience. Service brings us joy. When we serve with resentment -- the quality of the service suffers and there is no joy in it. Instead of the intrinsic satisfaction of service, of helping another human, we hold onto a low boiling anger that poisons the transaction, the relationship, and (gasp) ourselves. The work is the same, but the attitude is different. It's a mistake to ...

Productivity is a loaded word that is thrown around as if it means unlimited quality. It's not. Like most words, productivity is a relative term.  While you can always improve productivity (if that means doing more with less) there will also be a cost. That cost is usually in quality. Unless you develop a completely new way of doing something (or at least revolutionize the process) when you do more of it you inevitably reach a capacity limit. Approaching that intersection, the traffic heads for trouble.  We see it all the time: a relentless race to the bottom to make things cheaper and more plentiful at the huge sacrifice of quality. That loss feels like a real human loss. Yes, a phone-cue is faster than waiting to speak to a human, but there has been a significant loss in human contact in the business world. Long before AI started doing work for us, we let customers do their own heavy lifting. That results in a lot of dropped balls and a lot of unhappy customers. How you meas...

How much of your leadership relies on status? Status can be granted or seized, earned or burned. A frequent cause of conflict, people often compete for status even when they don't realize it. It gives way to one-upping others, to interrupting others, to manipulating others, all in search of some magic elevation to wear the crown. It's usually a figurative crown, but palpable nonetheless. It causes people to take things personally, all in an attempt to raise their personal standing. As high performance leaders, let's take notice. As centered and balanced leaders, let's place status into the proper perspective: it is not who you are. The struggle for status inevitably disappoints. Find the common cause. Create the common ground. Wear the common hat. -- doug smith

Some people measure quantify first and quality later. Some people measure money first and impact to the team later (not even second!). How you measure productivity might determine your character and your reputation. Put people first.  -- doug smith  

  Of course we all need to make money. We earn our profits with honor when we provide goods, services, and care for our customers. It's possible to create a better world AND make money in the process. But, all too often, in that process we encounter problems. In  the service of our people (customers, team members, vendors, regulators...) we should solve those problems. Sometimes, companies seek to monetize that process by creating problem situations that beg for solutions, which are then made available for an upgrade with an extra fee. Yuck. Short term that may seem smart but long term it's burning down the house you live in just to warm it up. The minute you monetize problem solving you create more problems.  And those problems will be much harder to solve. -- doug smith

As an old six sigma project manager I firmly believe that most problems are caused by broken processes, not broken people. But let's face it, some people not only don't realize that but they refuse to fix the process. If you know a process is broken, and do nothing to change that, the problem gets worse. If you can solve someone's problem but refuse to, you might be the problem. Don't be the problem. Fix the process, even if you need help. Because there are no perfect processes, but there are lots of people avoiding them. -- doug smith  

  Have you ever had a conversation with a customer service representative and you could tell that they were simply following a script? How did you feel about that? Sometimes the script works, but usually it doesn't feel human to the customer. As we get more and more responses from actual robots, it's worth considering how much better we can give human responses as humans. Quick Service Do's and Don'ts: Don't just follow a script when you hear it's not working. Don't assume that the customer is wrong. Don't take it personally when the customer gets upset. Don't argue with the customer. Instead, do these: Do listen to understand the customer's needs. Do empathize with the customer. Do collaborate rather than dictate. Do think creatively, even if you need to pause, in order to find better answers. That's not the whole list, of course, but it's a useful place to start. No matter who we're talking to we should always be better than a robot...

We do it frequently -- blame people for what's wrong. And when we blame people for something they did not cause it often makes things worse because now they feel bad about it and maybe even defensive. Even though it feels like people get i the way of perfection, it's usually something else. Fix the process. Fix the rule. Fix the presentation. Fix the product. People are better than we realize, and seldom to blame for service breakdowns. -- doug smith Training Activity Make a list of the three most recent service breakdowns that you have experienced. For each breakdown, score on a scale of 1 - 10 how much of that breakdown was caused by: Process Rules Presentation Product People Now you know where to start fixing things.