doug smith training

Procrastination increases stress. Do the thing and be done with it. -- doug smith

Optimism isn't a guarantee but it is fuel for improvement. You have to think anyway, why not think positively. I've had to work on this. There were times when I was way too sensitive and way to perfectionistic which lead to being pessimistic. I learned that given a choice (and we always have a choice) it is far better to think optimistically. Not irrationally. You do still need to work. Just thinking positively is no lock no matter what anyone says. But it can pull you in a positive direction, and that's helpful. What do you think? -- doug smith  

  It's tempting when there is so much to do to heap it up on your top performers. Give them that extra project. Delegate more. While delegation is a key part of high performance leadership, be careful about giving too many things to be done all at once. You know already that multitasking is risky. When you're driving a car you are multitasking -- your hands are doing one thing, your feet are doing another thing, and your eyes are busy on another thing, and it's all perfectly fine, until you add one thing too many. Looking at your phone or changing the controls on your audio, or glancing over your shoulder at the kids in the backseat -- all it takes is one thing too many to be much more than one thing too many. Disaster awaits. Most multitasking causes more problems than it solves.  Single task when possible and simply find another way. It may take longer, but it probably won't in the long run. -- doug smith

  That misunderstanding, that festering conflict, that difficult behavior...what are we to do? Talk it over. Bring it up. Conflict is reason to talk. Conversations cost less than making assumptions. Talk about it. 

  Emotions can get in the way of solving problems. Stirring up anger, or fear is hardly ever helpful. But what if even in the toughest of situations we solved problems with love. There can't be too much love, can there? And the supply is always renewable and inexhaustible if we stay with it. Problems solved with love stay solved longer. We also feel much better about the whole thing. What do you think? -- doug smth 

Trying to fix a problem from the past could cause a problem right now. When it's done, let it stay done. -- doug smith 

  Goals are not created equally. Some we plow thru because they are necessary or even assigned. But some that we choose challenge us so strongly that we grow no matter what the outcome turns out to be. Some build new skills that we will use forever after. The best goals bring you growth and joy even when you don't achieve them. Select your goals carefully. Feel the joy. -- doug smith

Each session is 3 hours long.    Morning sessions begin at 10:00 am ET    Afternoon sessions begin at 2:00 pm ET                 Excelling as a Manager or Supervisor December 11      Register here: https://skillpath.com/virtual     To save money, attend multiple programs, and enjoy many other great learning resources, register for SkillPath Unlimited here .

Have you ever worked so hard on something that it made you miserable?  Major goals do take hard work. When we set a goal if we're serious about it we must be ready to work hard to achieve it. But only if it matters. Only if we know that achieving that goal will make us better and happier or perhaps perform a noble good in the world. If a goal doesn't do that -- if a goal doesn't make you happy -- let it go. -- doug smith  

A few years ago there was a lot of attention on a personal development technique known as "the secret." I'm not here to debunk the secret or throw shade in its direction, because if you've heard about it you've probably already made up your mind. Like many of other methods, if it works for you, enjoy -- and if it doesn't, choose. This is not nearly so lofty a concept I'm about to share, and it's nothing that I've made up. It's been known forever. But just because it's known doesn't mean that it's easy. Just because it's simple doesn't guarantee success. Like anything worth working for, we've got to work for it.  The magic ingredient to achieving your goals is discipline. That's it. Whatever your course of action, you've got to put in the work. Whatever great habits will propel you forward, you've got to sustain the discipline to keep doing them. Is that the real secret? You decide. -- doug smith  

Goals are important. We should always be working toward meaningful goals. While we're doing that, we sometimes stumble. We even miss or must delay great goals.  When we pay attention, we learn valuable lessons from working on our goals, even when we miss.   Sometimes the learning is worth more than the goal. Go for the goal, and be sure to catch the learning. -- doug smith

It's one thing if a team member is unable to do something due to lack of knowledge or skill or resources. It's completely different when they ARE able but are unwilling.  Especially if the only thing standing in someone's way is their laziness. It's too much work for them. They don't see the payoff. But, for the rest of the team the payoff is both obvious and necessary. It may take a little work on the part of leadership to move that laziness aside. It could take patience. Persistence. Pressing on. Why not press on by showing that you are NOT too lazy to encourage effort? Why not demonstrate the value -- and the joy -- in the work? Overcoming laziness is work well worth the effort.  -- doug smith

You could think of it as the ostrich effect - putting your head in the sand to avoid a danger. You can't see it anymore, you don't notice the discomfort, but it's still there and you're still exposed. Overlooking the complexity of a problem does not simplify it -- or solve it.  As uncomfortable as it may be, we need to face our problems with courage, deal with them using our creativity, focus on our goals with clarity, and show compassion for anyone effected by our course of action. When problems are complicated we need not hide. It's better to rise. -- doug smith  

What's the strongest emotion for you?  What's the one emotion that more often than not seems to run you instead of you running the emotion? If the answer is "none" then good for you, and maybe share how you got there because it sure is hard for most of us. Emotions once activated send all the right chemicals thru our bodies to keep us in that elevated emotional state. When we need that flush of energy it's worth experiencing the rush. When we don't, it gets in the way. We can choose. We have the ability to take emotions out of problem solving if we are willing to.  Are you willing to? -- doug smith  

Collaborative problem solving makes conflict resolution just and fair. Resolving conflict and solving problems are not the same thing, but they do share much in common and can unify efforts toward better solutions. Work together. Talk about it. Share concerns. Consider (always) the needs of others. It's not magic, it's hard work. -- doug smith 

It can be frustrating when people don't see it your way. What if you know what you're talking about? What if you've already optimized that process, that method, that protocol?  This helps me - to wonder if maybe there is also another way, maybe even many other ways. Your formula for success may be unique but it is not the only productive path. The possibilities are endless. -- doug smith   

Have you ever noticed that people can't seem to realize it when they're wrong? That makes it frustrating for both the person who is wrong and the person who is quite certain that they're wrong. We get stuck. We dig in. It happens in conversations, in conflicts, and in relationships. When we're really wrong, we're really wrong, and we don't even know it. As long as we're wrong we don't see that we're wrong. How do we fix that? (Here it is worth it to pause and wonder, hmmm, how do we?) Pause.  It's worth a try. Stay open to possibilities. Listen as if we don't already know the answer, because even if we do the answer might have (probably HAS) changed. When we're wrong we've got to pause to figure that out. And when we're right, we've got to pause to see if that's still true. There's no shame in being wrong. But, it's a total shame to stay that way. -- doug smith  

Avoiding a conflict does not make you neutral. It may be healthy at times to avoid conflict, but if your team or someone you love is suffering because of that conflict, you've got responsibilities. What do you do when conflict is necessary? High performance leaders have a plan because they've practiced sensible strategies over and over again. Maybe consider that aching conflict another practice opportunity. -- doug smith 

How much time do you spend keeping score? Our clients, our customers, our employers, even our families expect us to keep score. At this point there probably isn't any stopping it. But, it's not always the most important thing.  What if you stopped keeping score when you're enjoying something just for what it is: a sunset, a low tide, a bird on the wing, a team member who smiles when they see you...we are not always competing with each other. Sometimes, we're all in this together. What if that could happen more often? As a leader, what kind of world are you trying to create? How about a world with more smiles? -- doug smith  

Missing a goal can still have a positive result if it sets you up for your next goal. Take what you learned, forget what you burned, and earn another achievement. -- doug smith 

Goals without discipline are like fire without fuel. Stopped.  Fuel the fire. Equip your goals. Develop the discipline to act relentlessly on your plan. Your potential is unlimited, but relies first on the discipline that you develop. -- doug smith  

Who else will be happier because of your goal? No matter how important that goal is to you, once it becomes important to someone else as well it becomes far more powerful. You become more powerful, too. Before launching a goal determine who else it will help in addition to yourself. It could change everything. -- doug smith 

Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.  We prepare, we practice, we strategize, and still sometimes the game does not go our way. That's reason enough to know that the game -- any game -- itself is not only about winning. It's how you play, how your team responds, and how you treat your competitors and collaborators.  And maybe, when you're lucky enough, your collaborators outnumber your competitors. It's a long game peppered with short fuses. Salted with near-misses. Anguished by disappointment. High performance leaders lead anyway, with the character it takes to produce without reducing. What game are you playing today? How can you win even if you don't win? -- doug Smith

Do you know this feeling -- fully engaged, highly energized, learning and growing and muscling up to the challenges tossed at you? Once we taste that, we want more. It might be tough, but we want more. There are so many distractions, but we want more. There's nothing quite like comp[letely immersing yourself in who you want to be. Working to be the best, not to overcome someone else, but to level yourself up. Where is your best potential to be the very best? -- doug smith  

Look for team members who take responsibility without being asked to because those are your future leaders. -- doug smith  

The best leaders tell the truth. People know that, even when they don't do that. We live in a world filled with so many lies that people have stopped even believing in truth. If it's all relative anyway then just say what you want, right? No. It's not all relative. And, while the truth will change, and while none of us can be absolutely sure about all truth, we can all tell the truth instead of purposely deceiving others. Maybe it's by design.  Lies reveal hidden desires. And, no matter what that desire is, if you have to lie to get it, you won't keep it long. -- doug smith Reflective exercise: What's the biggest lie you've ever told?  How long did it remain a secret?  What was the final outcome? What do you think would have been the outcome if you'd simply told the truth?

Do you have too much drama at work? Whenever I ask a class this during one of my Managing Conflict programs the answer is almost always "Yes!" (sometimes, it looks like this: YESSSS!!!!) Drama. It's all around us. Conflicts that are hard to resolve. Personality differences. Political incongruities. Societal hypocrisies. Fractured relationships and sore self-esteem. Drama. We like drama. It ignites us. It gets the heart beating faster. But do we really need it when our team just needs to finish a project? Do we really want it when what we should do instead is communicate more effectively, lead with influence instead of power, and reach mutually beneficial outcomes in change? Of course. Drama makes us feel so alive that even when it isn't necessary we tend to invent it. Given a choice, why invent the unnecessary? -- doug smith Notes: Here’s the process we cover in our program on Managing Conflict: 1. Uncover the causes. 2. Defuse the drama 3. Identify your choices 4. Fi...

We've all done it, haven't we -- smiled and nodded when we weren't sure we'd agreed? It seems so polite and yet ambiguity is not always our friend when we seek to lead others. Don't pretend that you know. Find out. Don't pretend you agree -- talk about it. Clarify, clarify, clarify! The truth may be moe muddled than you know. -- doug smith  

How important is it for us to be clear? Clear about our intentions. Clear about our resolve. Clear about our willing to share responsibility for success. High performance leaders are clear. Clarity prevents multiple misinterpretations. Is your message really clear? Do your team members all share understand of that message? -- doug smith  

It's too easy to say the wrong thing. We get excited. We feel insulted. We jump to conclusions and blurt out something not quite what we meant. I've done it. You've probably done it, too. What if we thought about it for just a moment? What if we set out to be kind, compassionate, and still courageous? There is always more than one way to say what we feel, and the way that we say it matters -- sometimes more than what in that moment we feel and believe. Something we say in passing could be remembered forever. What if we made that memory kind? -- doug smith  

How often do you avoid a conversation because it feels difficult? All too often? Once in a while? Always? The conversations we avoid can come back to haunt us. Don't run away. Talk about it. -- doug smith  

Maybe it didn't turn out \exactly as you planned. Maybe the problem is still clanking around in the background or even right in front of you.  There you are. Calm. Focused. Centered.  Centered problem solvers are OK even if their problem is not yet solved. -- doug smith  

Simply buying some one's solution solves one problem but it might not be yours that it solves. Consider the source. Consider the agenda. Consider the ramifications. Centered problem solving could take longer, but you'll like the results more. -- doug smith 

We tend to claim that we don't want problems. Let's just keep it smooth. Let's not rock the boat. And yet, worry and anxiety and low self-esteem can produce an unlimited amount of concern. There must be a problem, right, because there always is a problem? It's hard to talk yourself out of a problem that you talked yourself into. What do you tell yourself about your problems? Maybe that's a place to start. -- doug smith  

Have you ever completely forgotten about a goal? Honestly, I have. Those kind of goals have a built in resistance that is trying to tell us something. It's not the same as a goal that makes you uncomfortable because that could be a good thing. Rather, it's a goal that does not even seem to interest you. Pick goals you can't stop thinking about -- those are the ones you really want.  -- doug smith

Problems are discouraging. They slow us down. Often a problem will confound us. Problems can polarize us into immobility if we let them, afraid to make any decision because it might make the problem worse. Keep solving. Keep analyzing. Keep working on better choices. A problem won't stop you if you don't stop. Keep going. -- doug smith  

Circumstances try to pin us into either/or decisions. Win/lose. This or that. Pick one but not the other. Even when neither choice is appealing, there's a presumption that you've got to choose one. What if you don't? Embracing a paradox is a way to make peace with the irreconcilable.  Or is it? What do you think? -- doug smith

Silence is a powerful communication tool. When leaders can become comfortable with silence they can learn more, understand more, and connect more deeply. We don't always understand silence. The meaning isn't always clear. That's why developing patience with silence can be so helpful. Silence gives people time to think. Silence provides process time. In a noisy world, silence can even restore sense and peace. Honor silence even when you don't understand it. There is meaning there to find. -- doug smith  

As a leader, do you know how much your team wants to be connected? Why not connect with each team member this week and talk about their connections. What do they feel most a part of? How is their enthusiasm rate? Do they feel truly included? Connection lights the darkness of our lives and soothes our hollow loneliness.  Connect. -- doug smith  

 Problem solving builds strength and clarity. -- doug smith

Empathy is at the heart of... Superior service Centered leadership Better relationships Happiness... When leaders scale up on empathy, when they learn how to understand other people's feelings and situations and then respond with kindness, they make better choices. Strategies last when they include empathy. It's not always easy. At any given time we can find devilish barriers to caring about others. We can always uncover selfish motives and evil actions. But we don't have to do any of that. We can choose. We can develop caring and continue to care. Caring about each other makes defeating anyone unnecessary. Isn't that better? How do you feel about it? -- doug smith  

The goals we seek bring a lot of pull to them. We get wrapped in them.  It's useful and it's powerful when we care about our goals so much that they propel us forward and keep us working even when we're tired, beyond the boundaries of our usual limitations. But they should not take us beyond the boundaries of our usual values. They should not trick us into bending the rules just because the rules are in the way. Truly high performance leaders of character who are focused, and centered, and noble maintain integrity. No cheating is ever worth the outcome. Integrity is so rare that many people don't even recognize. If you do, be thankful. We need leaders like you. To truly understand integrity you've got to keep it. Even when it's hard. Even the lines are blurred.  -- doug smith 

Be careful of an answer that feels automatic. What if the obvious solution is an illusion? Problems seldom create their own solutions without magnifying the problem.  Just because you can't see an agenda doesn't mean that there isn't one... -- doug smith 

How much and how often do you want your leaders to listen to you? "Very much and always," is a rational response. Very much...and always. As leaders that's a big expectation. It deserves our constant attention.  Listen until you understand and then keep listening because there's always mroe to understand.  -- doug smith

Bad customers are no excuse for bad service. We've all experienced difficult customers and people who cannot be pleased no matter what we do. And even though it could feel justified to provide worse service as I result, that's wrong. I've seen people do it -- give the customer less than usual because of a rude remark, or take longer than necessary on a task because of a condescending attitude -- but in service to others we must be better than that. Customer service excellence means constant, attentive, respectful helpfulness. Nothing less. And who knows -- we could always end up turning that bad customer into a great customer. -- doug smith 

The brain is wonderful, isn't it? Fully capable of decoding, encoding, and subject to eroding when we least expect it, the brain is filled with surprises. To keep it focused, we focus hard -- on facts, on data, on details. All of that is important. It's also critical, as we practice critical thinking, to keep the big picture in mind. Where are we going? What is our mission? What's going on in the world (even the universe!) that will impact us whether we are aware or not? The big picture will include you, whether or not you include the big picture. Step back today and take a look. The big picture has probably shifted on you. -- doug smith  

How sure are you of the facts? In any decision, during any problem, the facts matter. While emotions propel us forward, unless we measure the facts, the facts could trip us up. How? Easily. What we believe to be facts could be something else. Inaccurate. Assertions. Assumptions. We need to practice our critical thinking skills to see thru the constant fog and clarify the facts. Accuracy depends on some fairly inaccurate assumptions. Before we can be sure, we need to recognize and qualify our assumptions. At least, I assume that's true... -- doug smith  

When you start with kindness you don't have to stay there, but you probably will. It works better for others. It works better for you. If you're human, you'll probably relapse. It does take practice to stay the course. The course starts by starting. When you start with kindness, it becomes more naturally the way. High performance leadership develops from the core leadership strengths of clarity, creativity, courage, and compassion. Build one of those strengths today thru some act of kindness and the others will get stronger as well. -- doug smith   

  We're in this, too. All the stuff. All the things. The changes, the strangeness, we're in. Impacted by what happens, what other choice do we have than to impact what happens? "These times!" you say. "These times are tough!" Yep. And so are you. The times make us what we are, more than we realize,  but then we also make the times. Let's make them good times. Let's do better. I'm in. How about you? -- doug smith

Working to make things better works best when we enjoy the work right now. Loving our neighbor works best when we love them right now. Building your best future works best when you build right now. Got it? It all starts, it all moves forward right now. -- doug smith

Even when kindness is taken for granted, it's worth it. Four core strengths add up to high performance leadership: clarity, courage, creativity, and compassion. The clearest, most courageous manifestation of compassion is kindness. It's not always reciprocated. It's not always appreciated. But, it's always worth it. Kindness is always a great choice. -- doug smith