doug smith training

I like people who speak their mind, people who say what they're thinking with radical honesty. You can learn a lot that way, especially when you disagree. Not everyone will appreciate radical honesty. They want you to hide the ugly truths. They want you to sugar-coat the feedback. That's why even when telling your truth without filters feels right (and it does) we still need to ready for reactions to that truth. Disagreement takes many forms. Some forms of disagreement are healthy, and some are not. You've no doubt experienced both. Speak your mind but remember that it will likely generate a response.  -- doug smith

  It's good to have dreams. It's where most goals begin, with a meaningful dream. Picturing yourself succeeding is a great technique (used in neurolinguistic programming, NLP and elsewhere). It's not enough, though. If you think you can just conjure up success by dreaming about it or manifesting it, good luck.  Take it a step (or twenty) farther than that. Do the work. Dream all you want -- and then, get to work. -- doug smith

  "You've got to be there. Big decisions are being made!" my former boss told me a long time ago. "If your voice is in the room you might be heard..." It was good advice then and it still is. Show up. When there's a goal you're working on and an opportunity appears to advance that goal -- show up. When changes are being made that will affect you -- show up! When it matters to you -- show up. You won't always get what you want by showing up, but you never will if you don't! -- doug smith

Have you ever been really interrogated? Have you ever been asked so many questions that it felt aggressive and intrusive, like an inquisition? There are times when it feels like we've had enough questioning. That could be a valid conclusion, or it could be a sign to open our minds and expand our perspective. Leaders must ask questions. We must ask open-ended, probing, curious questions. The truth could be in the fifteenth answer instead of the first. Keep asking. Respectfully ask, of course. And, then keep asking. Can I ask too many questions? What's your answer? -- doug smith

It's not such an easy question. Having people who report to you doesn't make you a leader and not having people report to you does not prevent you from being a leader. Leaders get things done thru other people. Or, better still, with other people. Leaders feel compelled to make life better for others and for themselves, by building, by changing, by serving.  Are you a leader? What leadership action are you working on today? -- doug smith  

"The primary role of a leader is to ask relevant questions." -- Lester T. Shapiro It takes practice. It takes patience. It could even take persistence. Ask the questions. To help people think. To seek understanding. To empathize, emphasize, and connect. Every unasked question leaves room for assumptions. You know what they say about assumptions. Ask the questions. -- doug smith  

Have you ever had a customer need something that seemed unreasonable? "You should pay for the whole thing!" or "You should give me a free gizmo, too!" or "I want a letter of apology from the president!" I've gotten all of those requests.  Customers don't always want what they ask for. They can be unreasonable. But, we still need to do our best to figure out HOW we can actually help them. Surprisingly, that is sometimes easier than meeting their demands. Maybe they need a boost to their self-esteem. Maybe they need to vent until their adrenaline tapers off.  Or maybe they need to know that they matter and that there are still kind people out there who will listen. People like you and me. The most immediately useful way to help a customer may be completely unrelated to your business. Let's listen. Patiently, compassionately, attentively. It could be the best experience they get all day. -- doug smith   

How does it feel when a problem lasts for a long time? Have you ever had a problem that lasted so long that it seemed like it would always be around? When a problem is not solved or managed it must be endured. We can do better than that. -- doug smith  

Have you ever talked about a goal a lot but then didn't achieve it? Talking about a goal is great, but no substitute for action.  Goals, plan, action. Remember the action! -- doug smith

We won't succeed every time. Some goals fall away. Some dreams perish. Keep moving. Keep growing. Try again. When one dream dies there's room for another to arise. You've got what you need to succeed. -- doug smith  

Working on a goal keeps you working -- and hopeful. -- doug smith 

Goals are seldom mutually exclusive, even when they seem to conflict. Once you uncover the bigger need you open up space. Once you align your goals to your mission, the path opens and the the conflict falls away. -- doug smith

Incremental goals make geometric goals possible. Little goals get giant goals going. Whatever your goal is, break it down into something small enough to do right now. One step forward is all you need to get going.  - - doug smith

Things don't get done on their own. People seldom coalesce around a cause without help from someone with the vision and verve to set the direction. That takes courage and stamina. It isn't easy. Leading is seldom comfortable but always necessary.  If you can't figure out who is leading your cause, that means it is you.  -- doug smith

Have you paid attention to your goals today? What did you get completed on your biggest goal? Ignoring your goals won't make you forget what you want, it will just prevent you from getting it. If it's a goal, go get it, -- doug smith  

What if we're the most happy when we're the most positive? It's not magic -- we still need to do the work. It's not miraculous or metaphysical -- we do still control our own destiny. But, why not make the control positive? Why not overcome any negative patterns that stand in the way? You've got this. I'm positive. -- doug smith  

  What can be possible right now? Is there a problem facing you that you've been avoiding because it feels like there are already just too many things going on? It's easy to fall into an "all or nothing" mindset where, unable to solve ALL of the problems we manage to solve NONE of the problems. That there are too many problems to solve them all shouldn't stop us from solving the ones we can. If what can be is one solution to one problem that is a wonderful place to begin. -- doug smith

  A problem that is intentionally caused should not be ignored. It is either a conflict, or about to become one. When was the last time you saw a conflict resolve itself? (That's what I thought...) As one of my mentors, Andrew Oxley taught me: "You don't have to get angry, but you do have to get active." Do what leaders do: solve problems. A problem caused intentionally points to a root cause and a larger opportunity. Ignored, it gets bigger. Addressed, it may get solved. -- doug smith

We're all here before we discover why.  Some people never do discover why. With clear focus we eventually do discover endless reasons why. It only takes one good one to keep going.  As leaders we have the ability to help others discover and develop their "why's". Gathering people who share a wonderful diversity of why's while also being able to align powerfully with the team's "why" makes leadership rewarding, useful, full, and fabulous. Facilitating success -- reason enough to lead and tough enough to keep us growing. -- doug smith

Build things that people need and you'll always be needed. Just remember, you may have to change how you build those things.  People's needs change and those needs are often more complicated than they seem. There is also a power difference between "classic" and "obsolete." As hard as it is, leaders need to navigate that difference. Build things that people need -- practical goods. And keep improving how you do it. -- doug smith 

If you are a parent, or remember when you were a child, you've heard this many times:  "It's not fair!"  Probably spoken with a massive degree of indignation. There is something absolutely offensive about encountering unfairness. Injustice. If it is not fair it is not right. You know how it feels and you know it shouldn't be that way. That's one of the things that makes leadership so important. Making fair choices. Treating people with respect. Moving toward your goals without taking advantage of other people. It takes character and strength and resolve.  Life may not be far, but as a leader you can be. Let's be fair. -- doug smith

  How are you at discovering things with other people? As much as I do enjoy working alone, exploring, doing lots of discovery, I also find that it is absolutely amazing to be able to co-discover with other people. New things emerge. Synthesis arises. Jam sessions abound. When we work together we discover worlds beyond our lonely grasp. We discover what's right. -- doug smith

  "It seems like the project is right in front of you..." I said, beginning to offer some free consulting. "I don't need advice," she said, "I need collaboration." Of course.  -- doug smith

  Your goals are up to you. If you've got a pulse, if you're breathing, your goals are up to you. Other people may assign you tasks, projects, and even goals but let's face it, it is completely up to you. Isn't that the way you want it? -- doug smith

We grow in the direction of our intensions -- so set your intentions clearly and positively. I can't think of a better alternative, how about you?  -- doug smith

Thirty minutes to talk about your goals, problems, or leadership development. Not therapy. If you need medical, mental, or tax advice please consult a certified professional in one of those fields.

How often do you take time to reflect on what you've learned? Whether it' a debrief after a project, a feedback session after a job, or even a daily check-in to ask yourself "what did you learn today?" taking time to reflect helps us to learn those lessons we need to continue to improve. It's a matter of asking questions, thinking about your response, and considering what to do with what you've learned. What happened that worked for you?  How did you make the best use of your time and energy? What would you do differently next time? What will you do with what you have learned? Reflection gives us direction. Direction gives us cause. Take that pause to find that cause, and keep on learning! --  doug smith What have you learned today?  

Have you ever avoided feedback? Do you know anyone who avoids feedback? Even when we know we benefit from feedback, we'll do our best to avoid that feedback if it hurts. Unkind critical feedback stings so much that we pull away. As leaders, we can fix that. Take the sting out. Make feedback feel useful and kind. Not by coddling or being polly-annish. Not by being toxically positive. By being accurate, unemotional, and kind. By listening first and sharing feedback second.  Lower the temperature, raise the compassion, increase the frequency, and develop a team with a culture of sharing observations and eventually people will embrace the feedback instead of avoiding it. Feedback is fuel for growth. Feedback is best built with trust. -- doug smith

I don't have all the answers. This isn't an absolute, reductionist formula, but it couldn't hurt. It feels like a good way to lead. Ready? Lead with the eagerness of a child and the wisdom of an elder. That's it. I thought about substituting "patience" for "wisdom". Either one (or both) will do. Stay curious. Stay patient. Lead with kindness. What do you think? -- doug smith  

Why would anyone resist solving a problem? As frustrating as that feels, there must be a reason. Even when it is counter-productive. Even when it makes no sense at all -- people will stay stuck in their problems and avoid anything that resembles a solution. Maybe they're sure it will work out on its own (it won't). Or, maybe in a tough case they unknowingly are addicted to their pain, that cycle of bringing up what hurts even though it hurts and eventually even because it hurts. It's familiar. The chemicals do their dance of doom and the darkness feels almost comforting. I'm familiar with that pattern, that rut, that doom. It wasn't judgment that pulled me out. It wasn't force. It wasn't even an intervention. It was slow, steady, patient, loving conversations.  Talk about it. Listen. Empathize.  Some people won't want you to solve a problem. It's worth finding out why. Just imagine the possibilities! -- doug smith  P.S. I'm not a therapist (altho...

  You can stop listening to someone who offends you, but what if that's what they want? Maybe instead, keep listening -- by listening we can still influence. When we stop listening, we're done. -- doug smith

I love famous quotations, but sometimes they are just wrong. They might be out of context. They might be out-dated. What once rang truth now sours with disharmony. What might seem wise could be disguised. I've learned to think it thru. What's really being said? What's really being advised? Does that make sense? Is that wise? Wisdom misinterpreted isn't helpful. What do you think? -- doug smith  

Disagreeing with someone's truth just makes you disagreeable. Better to explore the middle ground. Better to understand where they stand. Much, much better to listen. You might still decide to disagree, but then you'll understand why. -- doug smith  

The problem with perfection is that it's not sustainable. As soon as you get there, the landscape shifts. Standards change. Details emerge that switch everything up. We can get upset about that, but it won't change the inevitable. It's better to flex, to move, to dance with the waves Are your dancing shoes ready? 

Do we have enough time to completely understand everything that we need to change? Of course not. We should understand with clarity what it is that is changing, and especially those things that we cause to change.  But some change is completely new. Some change is game-changing. It's a dance on a wet floor. It's a jam session in twelve-tone jazz. It's a dish off the menu. Exciting, breathless, thrilling, risky, and sometimes scary. Changing something you don't understand will produce results you don't expect. Are you ready for the unexpected? -- doug smith  

Living with our own internal doubts is hard enough, isn't it? With careful development, endless learning, bountiful experience, and careful coaching we can learn to overcome those self-doubts. We learn to analyze without paralyzing ourselves.  Other people don't work with any limitations on the limitations they may try to impose on us. Their doubts may be deep. Their doubts may seem strong and convincing. But, their doubts are their doubts and do not control you.  No one else's doubts define your limitations. That is completely up to you. Do what you need to do to do what you want to do. Ethically, morally, compassionately, courageously, creatively, and clearly.  -- doug smith

It's hard work. Most people are not willing to put in that work. Waiting for miracles or hoping to luck into achieving your goals might sound great for a video spin as a win but usually does not pay off -- it doesn't work unless YOU do. Goals are not meant for lazy people. Goals are for people willing to work in order to get what they want. People like you, right? -- doug smith  

When you decide you'd like to have something, or achieve something, how do you begin? It's easier to get what you want when you first set a goal. Make it clear, make it appealing, make it possible...and then, make it happen. -- doug smith  

So many times I have allowed doubt to get in my way. While it's wise to pay attention to risks and to create plans for overcoming obstacles, doubt is often an unnecessary encumbrance. It holds back without giving. It hinders without helping. When we develop the skills we need to achieve our goals, doubt is just annoying. Doubt doesn't diminish your ability unless you let it. Hear the doubt, then do what is necessary. Figure it out, then move past the doubt. -- doug smith  

Maybe that road is speckled with potholes. Maybe that highway is heavy with tolls. How much do you want to go where you need to go? You can handle any rough road if you're eager enough to reach your destination. -- doug smith

If it feels like other people are deciding things for you, take comfort in the fact that it has always been the case -- always -- that some people will do their best to decide everything for you. Whether you allow that or not is up to you. Whether you lead ahead or follow (and fall) behind is also up to you.  This time is your time -- embrace it completely. -- doug smith "The present time has one advantage over every other -- it is our own" -- Charles Caleb Colton Source

The word of the day is love. The word of the month is love. The word of your life is love. Isn't that the best word -- and advice -- ever? -- doug smith  

Who do you call on a project when you need help? Do you have a team of people you rely on? Or, is every project a struggle to find help? Maybe we should be constantly looking for help. Teaming up. Partnering up. What if we spent some of our strategic planning time in finding collaborators? Anyone could be a collaborator.  They could be working in another department or process. They might even be in a different organization. You might not have even met yet. Still, the potential is there. Anyone could be a collaborator and sometimes we just need to ask. "Hey, I've got this great project I'm working on. Can I tell you about it?' If it really IS a great project, why wouldn't they want to hear all about it? And then, if they''re right for the project, your team could be about to grow. -- doug smith

What makes you happy the most? I've heard people say money, or fame, or traveling, or competition, or exercise...whatever makes you happy is good, right? But what makes you happy the most? (Pause here to reflect...) Being yourself. Right? Being able to be WHO you are WHEN you want, without adjusting to placate or get paid, isn't that the best? It still takes courage to be who you are once you know who that is. Ah yes, reason number 200 why courage is so important to a leader. But what if we change? Of course! Be who you are and when you change, be the new you.  Just don't let anyone else tell you who you are. -- doug smith

  Some goals aim for achievements, and some goals establish healthy habits that contribute to achievements. Both contribute to achieving your goals and both are essential. To achieve your goals, equip yourself for success. -- doug smith Action Plan Look now at your number one goal and identify at least one much-needed but not yet supplied resource. Figure out how to get that and your success chances rise.

As a sports fan I hate it when a favorite team member leaves the team. I do remember when an athlete would spend an entire career with one team. They felt like part of the family. Their bright moments seemed to shine in our memories like common threads of a larger family. Today that is rare. Players come and go often before we get to know them or appreciate their gifts. It feels the same in the working world. People come and go and we never hear from them again. The knowledge they acquired is gone from the team. The spirit they stirred is mixed up with forgotten signals from the past. But, have you ever had a team member leave and then return? It's high risk of course. They do not return as the same person they were before they left. There are new bruises, new scars, and even new skills we hadn't seen from them before. One of the risks is that in returning they soon realize why it was that they left in the first place. It's even possible that things did not get better, and ...

There's nothing quite like a deadline to bring out the creativity in you. -- doug smith  

All goals lead somewhere. Do yours lead you where you want to go? No matter what anyone else says, you're the one who is in charge and in control of your goals. -- doug smith  

Advice can be tricky. Have you ever heard advice that says "forget the past" or "release what was"? That could be helpful. That might be good therapy sometimes. And, sometimes it is a big mistake. The more we pretend the past doesn't matter the more likely it is to haunt us. We cannot change the past -- true. Should we ignore it? Or better yet, should we learn from it? -- doug smith Reflection: What does the image of that broken bridge remind you of in your past?  Are you finished dealing with that part of your past? What did you learn?

A moment of doubt need not last. Your focus is under your control. -- doug smith

Have you ever been absolutely convinced of something, so certain that you would defend it or explain it or insist on it to anyone -- only to later discover that it was wrong? I have, and it doesn't feel great, does it? We can all fall into a habit of believing our beliefs so strongly that there's no room for learning. What feels most comfortable seems most true. Only, not always. Certainty is no measure of truth. No matter how true something seems, check for evidence. -- doug smith Call to Action: Write down one sentence on something that you are absolutely certain about. Now, write down three pieces of evidence for that certainty. What do you think?

What's next?  Everyday there is some new challenge and everyday there are multiple ways to handle each challenge. People are waiting for answers without even understanding the questions. Where does that leave you? The best we can ever do is to make things better. Start with one thing at a time and grow. I don't do nearly enough of this, but I'm willing to ramp it up. How about you? Lead the way to something better and people will follow you.  -- doug smith Call to Action: Make a list (a very short list!) of problems you'd like solved or projects you'd like to do. Prioritize the list. Start working on number one. Do something.