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Goals with Bonus Benefits

Goals are important, but if you haven't achieved a goal does that mean that you've failed? Not always and certainly not completely. It's possible that a better goal opened up while you were working om the one that you left behind. Maybe you simply prioritized something more valuable. We shouldn't expect to achieve every goal because if we do either our goals are too small or our priorities are too rigid. A goal can be successful without being achieved. We learn. We grow. We adjust. We connect -- many ways that we are enriched by working toward something whether or not we achieve it. Of course we do want to achieve our goals. Even when we don't, though, we learn. What has your most recent unachieved goal taught you? -- doug smith  

Bright Spots

We need to know how to improve, so as leaders part of our job is to provide the feedback-for-improvement that our teams need. Specifically, timely, kindly.  It's easy to remember that if not so easy to do. We should also remember to call attention to what is working. Let people know what is great. Share our stories of how the team is excelling. Sharing the bright spots lights the way. The more we see what works, the better we can make it work. What positive bright spot can you share with your team today? -- doug smith  

A Key to Happiness

We all like to be happy. Many people devote their entire lives to being happy, trying a series of things until they find something that seems to work. I don't pretend to have the key to happiness but I've lived and worked long enough to learn one wonderful way to get there. If you want the secret to happiness, find out what you can do that makes other people happy. Then...do that. What are your keys to happiness? -- doug smith  

Service Appreciation

Delivering excellent service is tough enough and sometimes it's not enough, according to our customers. With some customer wanting a miracle, or a policy change,  it mean that even when we do our best it may not be perceived as enough. We could have always done more. We should have somehow changed the world in order to change their outcome. Other times, customers are generous in their thanks. Our extra steps are appreciated, our efforts are more than enough, and our customers are happy to do business with us. We should work as if the second group of customers -- the real appreciators, the happy ones, are the norm and hold onto the joy they share. There are no guarantees that our service will be appreciated, but that's not why we do it. We serve because that's where the joy lives, in helping others. -- doug smith

Joy at Work

Identify your source of joy, apply it to your work, and your work becomes a source of joy. -- doug smith  

Too Much Advice?

What happens with unsolicited advice?  Probably nothing. If you didn't ask for a piece of advice, why would you take it? Well, then what happens to advice that you do ask for? Isn't that a whole different matter? Different, yes, and yet often the outcome is the same: advice given and then ignored. It's easy to give advice because we all have opinions on everything, even stuff we don't know anything about. Taking advice is harder because A) the advice we get is often wrong, B) the advice we get is usually hard, and C) the advice we get often doesn't work. As someone who is sometimes paid to give advice I've had to learn the primary consultant's rule of advice giving: first ask the questions and then let the client determine the best advice. It takes longer. It can take much longer. It's not immediately satisfying, but it works much better. I'm working on slowing down my approach to giving advice and yet I still go too fast sometimes. How about you? He...

Agenda Reveals Character

You can tell much about someone by what they plan to do. You might learn all you need to know about someone by their plan, their strategy, their approach to communicating (or not communicating). Agenda is revealing. Agenda reveals character. Read the signals. No amount of accommodation will change a person's character.  Maybe start with the agenda, and if you can't get that to an acceptable plan, read the signals. -- doug smith  

Tried That?

Ever work on a problem so long that you've got a half of a dozen solutions buzzing around like bees near a flower? What if those bees are really wasps? What if the value of your solutions is less than the lessons of the problem? Yikes! We can't solve a problem until we let go of the solutions that don't work. To get started, let go. -- doug smith  

Courage Continuum

Small acts of courage lead to big acts of courage. It starts out tough and stays tough yet one courageous act leads to an even more courageous act, just like building a muscle. What courageous thing will you do this week? -- doug smith

Interaction

You can send an email and maybe it will get read. Or maybe a text message will get read faster. You could even leave a sticky note on someone's desk in an attempt to reach them... Face it. There is no equivalent substitute for human interaction. If it's really important, talk about it. -- doug smith  

Four Useful Words

Judge less, listen more. It's not complicated but it's not easy, either. If you work as a judge then go ahead and judge. As for the rest of us, listening works better and longer. -- doug smith

Uncover the Needs

Customers are human. They may have needs that they don't understand. When we provide unselfish service we just might uncover those customer needs. -- doug smith  

What luck?

Some days you feel lucky. Some days you don't. I can still hear Albert King singing "if it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all..."  As a kid I thought, that's too bad, that really is the blues, but that's how it is... Or is it? The thing about luck is that it doesn't seem to consult you. When we rely on luck, good or bad, we relinquish all control. Why do that? On average, luck just doesn't care, so don't let it determine your destiny. To quote the great voice teacher Dorinda Dercar,  "Luck is for people who think the answer is outside themselves..." You're better than that. Your answer is inside you. -- doug smith

Do It Anyway

  Do you ever have to talk yourself into doing what you need to do? We might even need to talk ourselves into doing some things we WANT to do...we just get busy and stuck. Working on your goals can feel like work sometimes. Do it anyway. Do the work. Achieve your goals. -- doug smith

From Dreams to Goals

  When you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up? Now that you're grown, what did you bring from that dream into your current self? Try this: revisit your former dreams -- from childhood or later -- and without attaching to the exact role you imagined, look for the gems inside that sparked your imagination in the first place.  Revisit your former dreams -- there could be a current goal there waiting for your discovery. -- doug smith

Reinvention

How many you's are in you? You'll go thru many iterations on the way to the next you. New habits, new skills, new dreams, new goals. Like it or not, we live in constant change. We might as well take ownership of as much of that change as we can. Re-invent yourself when the old skin no longer suits you. It may be time for a new you. -- doug smith  

Some Conflicts...

Some conflicts are worth avoiding.  Do you know anyone who always seems to be in an argument? If you think of someone as a difficult person, is it because they're just so...disagreeable? It isn't necessary to disagree with everyone you disagree with. We don't have time to convince every wrong person that they're wrong, so we need to stay strategic on where we manage the conflict and where we walk away. Your time is valuable and irreplaceable. Manage carefully.  -- doug smith

Start With...

Why do people follow you? Where's the magnet? What's the attraction? What's the draw? People look for leaders who are leading causes they believe in. Start with the cause and then look for commitment. If your cause is real, your team will respond. -- doug smith  

Tough Choices

Do you remember your toughest leadership decision? Every day we make many choices. Some days, the choices are tough. As leaders, we need to put our teams in the best possible position to succeed. The nuances are subtle. The stakes are high. Sometimes our best chance is our hardest choice. That's why you're there -- a trusted decision maker able to make the tough choices. Some will work well, and some won't. But the tough choices will keep coming. What's a leader to do? Keep learning, and decide with care. -- doug smith  

Appreciation

Your team members might need more validation than you've been giving them. Many of the artifacts of the past that indicated power and showed success are no longer provided. Flattening the organization has also eliminated promotion opportunities. Career tracks have turned into career plains.  How do you build a career and your self-esteem if money is your only measure of success? That might not be the wrong question, but the implied answer is incomplete. We still have other ways of measuring and celebrating success. We can find ways to show our team members that they are making progress. We can show our team members that we recognition their success and we appreciate their work. Elevate their status. Distinguish those who achieve their team goals and show them respect beyond the basic into esteemed associate admiration. People didn't stop caring about these things just because companies stopped providing them. No matter what your organizational culture declares, as a leader you ...

How Far?

How far will you go? How much will you work? How important is it to you? Your goals will go as far as you will go... -- doug smith  

Steps of Success

Remember to celebrate the goals you've already achieved. They are powerful steps toward your next great goal. -- doug smith  

Decide...

It might seem hard, even impossible. I've found myself immobilized at times out of fear of making a choice. Especially if a bad decision has created a problem. That decision, right or wrong, has been made. It's time for a new choice. The best way out of a bad decision is another decision. Decide.  -- doug smith

Rival as Coach

Competition can be rough but it can also be educational. If you study your opponent you might learn their secrets. If you can listen to your opposition, they might be sending you valuable signals that could improve your own performance. What if your rival is also your best coach? -- doug smith

Action!

You've heard the term "Action!" in the movie business applied to beginning a scene. Get moving. Do your part. Play your role. Action. Often, the action is incomplete, incorrect, or just insufficient. When that happens on the set you'll hear "Back to one!" which means start the scene over from the beginning. You get another chance. Some directors will even give you a couple extra chances to get it right. Other directors, like Stanley Kubrick, might insist on dozens of "back to ones" to make sure something brilliant happens. We don't always get do-overs in real life, do we? But we can't get stuck at "one" or "back to one". We need action. Sketch out all the plans you want as long as you remember that it takes action to achieve your goals. And what if you don't like the results of your action? Maybe...just maybe, give back to one a chance... -- doug smith

A Bit of Justice

Is it possible to have peace without justice? I wrestle with that question because I know what I'd like it to be and I suspect that the real answer is something else. How about you? The path of peace is sometimes covered with conflict. Problems don't always present in a respectful, peaceful manner. Sometimes they barely even disguise the greed behind the behavior. Tough, yet almost certain, the answer involves an assertive response. A problem caused by greed might need a bit of justice. Peaceful, restorative justice perhaps, but most definitely justice. -- doug smith

Turn That Feedback Upside Down

Is feedback painful? Do you hate both giving AND receiving feedback? Most people, in my experience, tend to avoid feedback because there is pain and even emotional trauma attached. Critical feedback hurts. Positive feedback, when it comes at all, isn't always enough to counter the trauma of the critical feedback. We do need critical feedback. We need to be able to benefit from observations and experiences to improve our performance going forward. As leaders, we have a responsibility to provide our team members with both support and challenge. Feedback should be part of that challenge. But it's not really "feedback" unless it's flipped upside down. On my Fender amplifier, if I play my guitar too loud and too close to the speaker the sound feeds-back. I like that sound (it reminds me of Jimi Hendrix) but many people don't and it certainly would not fit in most worship services or orchestra pits. The feedback is essentially telling me to turn it down. But I don...

How To Give and Receive Constructive Feedback

  I'm facilitating a training session this week on feedback and coaching so of course my research never stops. No matter how many times I've delivered a program, there's always more to learn. I found this video and recommend it. If you'd like to take some of the "sting" out of feedback, don't even think of it as feedback. Think of it as advice. Here's the ten minute video. If you don't have ten minutes, the first three minutes are golden. Three key points that I got from the video: Focus on the task, not the person Ask for advice, not feedback Your "second score" is how you take and process your first score. If someone says that your performance was a three on a scale of ten (ouch!) you can still get a ten on how you use that information.  -- doug smith

Some Motivation

When your goals are tied to a larger mission their value prods you forward. One more step,                                   one more step,                                                   for goodness' sake take one more step... -- doug smith

Pause

"Not so fast!" "What?" "I didn't say yes. At least not yet. Be careful of assuming it's a yes..." I don't like to be pushed, how about you? I don't like it when people assume that any answer that is not a no must logically be a yes. Maybe not. It's fine to pause. It's worth thinking. No one can fault you for taking a breath, or two, or three! A pause, before a promise, can prevent that promise from being broken. I'd like to be someone who keeps my promises. How about you? -- doug smith  

Missing?

There have been days when it has felt like something is missing. The pace is too slow. The temperature is too cold. The beach is too lonely. What is it? Is it exercise? Is it eating healthy? Is it starting a conversation instead of waiting for someone else? Whatever is missing from your life might only be one good habit away.  -- doug smith

Something

Nobody can do everything, but feeling guilty about that won't change it.    We can all do something. Do what you can.   -- doug smith

Steadfast

Life gets better when you get better. Keep learning. Keep growing. Keep serving. -- doug smith  

Clarify and then Work

Where does success start? It starts with the goal. What is it that you really, really want? Clarifying what your goal is can save you hours, weeks, and years of frustration. Work on what matters. Work on your goals. -- doug smith

How Much Skill Do You Need?

What skill or skills are you working on these days? Are you working on new skills only, or are you also continuing to develop your areas of strength? It's not either/or, is it? Note to self: develop your skill to the point where there's no fear of using that skill -- and then keep developing it. If the skill is worthwhile, it's never totally perfected. -- doug smith  

The Problem With Compromises

Think about the last time you compromised on something. Whether it was a big compromise or a little compromise, how do you feel about it now? While we often call it "meet in the middle" it seldom does. Compromises are not automatically fair, no matter how implied that fairness is. Someone usually gets more out of a compromise than the person they are "compromising" with. If the low end is you, you don't like it -- and you remember that. If the top end of the compromise is you, you probably forget all about it even though the inequity simmers in the background.  Compromises must be constantly revisited because they are inevitably unfair. If you get the chance to balance things out, your relationship will prosper. If you miss that chance, the relationship will suffer. What's your choice? -- doug smith  

Unconditional Giving

Is giving easy for you, or do you find it hard? Do you serve gladly, or with resentment? Do you give conditionally, or unconditionally? What if we are made whole by giving ourselves away? That just might change a lot of answers... -- doug smith  

It's Positive

  Positive thinking is not a magic wand. It's just better than negative thinking, and far too often it feels too easy to think negatively. We do it to ourselves, and we do it to others. Let's think, and do better by being more positive. There is no reason to fill anyone with doubt. Including yourself. -- doug smith

Speak Your Mind

I like people who speak their mind, people who say what they're thinking with radical honesty. You can learn a lot that way, especially when you disagree. Not everyone will appreciate radical honesty. They want you to hide the ugly truths. They want you to sugar-coat the feedback. That's why even when telling your truth without filters feels right (and it does) we still need to ready for reactions to that truth. Disagreement takes many forms. Some forms of disagreement are healthy, and some are not. You've no doubt experienced both. Speak your mind but remember that it will likely generate a response.  -- doug smith

Dream...and then get to work

  It's good to have dreams. It's where most goals begin, with a meaningful dream. Picturing yourself succeeding is a great technique (used in neurolinguistic programming, NLP and elsewhere). It's not enough, though. If you think you can just conjure up success by dreaming about it or manifesting it, good luck.  Take it a step (or twenty) farther than that. Do the work. Dream all you want -- and then, get to work. -- doug smith

Show Up!

  "You've got to be there. Big decisions are being made!" my former boss told me a long time ago. "If your voice is in the room you might be heard..." It was good advice then and it still is. Show up. When there's a goal you're working on and an opportunity appears to advance that goal -- show up. When changes are being made that will affect you -- show up! When it matters to you -- show up. You won't always get what you want by showing up, but you never will if you don't! -- doug smith

Can I Ask Too Many Questions?

Have you ever been really interrogated? Have you ever been asked so many questions that it felt aggressive and intrusive, like an inquisition? There are times when it feels like we've had enough questioning. That could be a valid conclusion, or it could be a sign to open our minds and expand our perspective. Leaders must ask questions. We must ask open-ended, probing, curious questions. The truth could be in the fifteenth answer instead of the first. Keep asking. Respectfully ask, of course. And, then keep asking. Can I ask too many questions? What's your answer? -- doug smith

Are You A Leader?

It's not such an easy question. Having people who report to you doesn't make you a leader and not having people report to you does not prevent you from being a leader. Leaders get things done thru other people. Or, better still, with other people. Leaders feel compelled to make life better for others and for themselves, by building, by changing, by serving.  Are you a leader? What leadership action are you working on today? -- doug smith  

Ask The Questions

"The primary role of a leader is to ask relevant questions." -- Lester T. Shapiro It takes practice. It takes patience. It could even take persistence. Ask the questions. To help people think. To seek understanding. To empathize, emphasize, and connect. Every unasked question leaves room for assumptions. You know what they say about assumptions. Ask the questions. -- doug smith  

Customers Are Funny

Have you ever had a customer need something that seemed unreasonable? "You should pay for the whole thing!" or "You should give me a free gizmo, too!" or "I want a letter of apology from the president!" I've gotten all of those requests.  Customers don't always want what they ask for. They can be unreasonable. But, we still need to do our best to figure out HOW we can actually help them. Surprisingly, that is sometimes easier than meeting their demands. Maybe they need a boost to their self-esteem. Maybe they need to vent until their adrenaline tapers off.  Or maybe they need to know that they matter and that there are still kind people out there who will listen. People like you and me. The most immediately useful way to help a customer may be completely unrelated to your business. Let's listen. Patiently, compassionately, attentively. It could be the best experience they get all day. -- doug smith   

Better

How does it feel when a problem lasts for a long time? Have you ever had a problem that lasted so long that it seemed like it would always be around? When a problem is not solved or managed it must be endured. We can do better than that. -- doug smith  

Goal Action

Have you ever talked about a goal a lot but then didn't achieve it? Talking about a goal is great, but no substitute for action.  Goals, plan, action. Remember the action! -- doug smith

What You Need

We won't succeed every time. Some goals fall away. Some dreams perish. Keep moving. Keep growing. Try again. When one dream dies there's room for another to arise. You've got what you need to succeed. -- doug smith  

Melting Conflict

Goals are seldom mutually exclusive, even when they seem to conflict. Once you uncover the bigger need you open up space. Once you align your goals to your mission, the path opens and the the conflict falls away. -- doug smith

Small Steps

Incremental goals make geometric goals possible. Little goals get giant goals going. Whatever your goal is, break it down into something small enough to do right now. One step forward is all you need to get going.  - - doug smith

Take The Lead

Things don't get done on their own. People seldom coalesce around a cause without help from someone with the vision and verve to set the direction. That takes courage and stamina. It isn't easy. Leading is seldom comfortable but always necessary.  If you can't figure out who is leading your cause, that means it is you.  -- doug smith

Go Get It

Have you paid attention to your goals today? What did you get completed on your biggest goal? Ignoring your goals won't make you forget what you want, it will just prevent you from getting it. If it's a goal, go get it, -- doug smith